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Pour the Teapot Offline
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Angry i'm not! - March 16th 2010, 09:05 PM

ok, so i haven't been on here for a long time because my mom got on my computer and looked at my posts and COMPLETELY MISREAD one of them. and now she's convinced i'm suicidal and she won't believe me! She needs to get it through her thick skull that i'm not my dad, and even though killed himself and had depression I WON'T AND I'M NOT!! and for the past year she's forced me on meds, stuck me in the hospital twice, and made my life living hell. I can't make any new friends because the meds make me ultra-angry all the time. i know i wasn't perfect in the first place, but come on! i'm a teenager! teenagers are moody! she refuses to even consider taking me off the meds, and if i don't take them she sticks me the hospital which is worse than at home! and i can't even think about her anytime i'm not alone, because when i do i start crying with hate. i HATE her with all my heart. I'm thirteen! i don't think i deserve to be this miserable for the next four years! i'm so angry all the time because of her. she's basically the only problem in my life, but she's making my life miserable! and if she gets mad at me for being on here again, i just want to point out that i'm only on here because of her and i'm NOT suicidal!
   
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Re: i'm not! - March 16th 2010, 10:37 PM

Hey There Kiddo,
Just calm down a bit. I think it's easier to think when we are in a calm state. I think it's fabulous that you wrote this because you get out a lot of the feelings bottled within. So good for you.
I'm sorry you're being treated as such by your mum. You have to keep in mind that she's just being protective and wants to make sure you don't end up like your father. I'm sure she went through a hard time with that, and she just doesn't want to see that pass down to you, she obviously cares a lot about you.
I'm sorry that you were put into the hospital twice as well. That's not really the greatest place, I know, I've been there. If you've been there though, and you've been evaluated psychiatrically, why can't the doctors who've evaluated you, talk to your mum about what's really going on?
I mean like, if the doctors don't see anything wrong, I'm sure they wouldn't prescribe you medication, and then you're mum wouldn't be able to force you to take something you really don't need. However, that's not the case. You are being administered medication, and you're mum is making you take them. It seems to me that the doctors that you've seen have valid reasons to give you the medicine, and you're mum is making sure nothing happens so she's having you take the medicine.
Really, I see this situation as a protective mother. She just really wants to make sure you don't do something bad, and she wants you safe. What I would suggest is maybe talking to your doctor about how you feel about what's going on with how your mum is treating you. Make sure you are completely honest with him though. Then once you talk to him or her, maybe a family type meeting can be set up between you, your mother, and your doctor, to talk about what's going on, your future, and medication. It's really worth a try doing this. I think it will really help.
I hope that this helped a bit. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation, so just keep your head held high hun. I know you will be able to get through this, your mother just really cares about you. Please take care of yourself.
   
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Re: i'm not! - March 16th 2010, 11:33 PM

Hey there,
I completely understand what it's like to have parents that don't understand. But the thing is, your mom really does care about you, that's why she is doing this to you. She's just like my mom. They want to help, but they don't know the right way to, so they do the first thing they can think of. I honestly you need to sit down at the table with her and calmy explain EVERYTHING you just said in this post. If you start getting the least bit angry, get up and say you'll finish later. Discussing this can get heated fast but you need to be calm when talking to her. I think if she knew how you felt and how she was the one making you feel this way, she'd be more likely to listen to you. That doesn't mean she is going to instantly take you off everything and leave you alone. (I can only wish my mom would do that to me) But maybe she would cut down on the medication or something along those lines. If talking with her doesn't work, involve someone else. A school counselor, doctor, or trusted adult. Someone who can mediate the conversation and try to show eachother both sides of it. Sometimes it helps in my situation when my therapist says the same thing to my mom as I did. Because then my mom realizes it's not just me saying that, it's the right thing. I know how annoying overprotective parents can be, not fun, but hang in there, she'll back off as you get older.
Take care,
Alessa


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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: i'm not! - March 17th 2010, 12:12 AM

thanks guys. the problem is, i've tried talking to her several times, and she never changes ANYTHING. and she refuses to try any of the suggestions i offer to make our relationship better. it's so irritating, because it's like she's not even trying to help. but thanks for your suggestions, i'll try those.
   
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Re: i'm not! - March 17th 2010, 04:35 PM

I agree with everyone else! I also think that because your dad has done this and your mother has already lost someone she will be more wary and protective - she doesn't want the same to happen to you. Parents often react in a way they think will help when really it makes it worse! Can you talk to your doctor or whoever about this, explain what is happening? It could be perhaps that your mum needs someone to talk to, about what happened with your dad? Maybe that would be useful for her, try to sympathise with her and see things from her point of view - even though you are annoyed and frustrated now.

It may be useful for you to both draw up a "contract" of things you will both agree to do or not to do. If when you try to talk to her, have a list of what you would like and see if you can come to an agreement. Things are unlikely to stop as soon as you do this, but it could make your relationship with her easier.

Here if you need me,
Take care.
Anna
   
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