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anne_onymous Offline
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Arrow man it passes right by me, its behind me, now its gone. - March 18th 2010, 11:03 AM

how do i stop feeling so depressed and helplesssss?
i spend my days taking care of my mom. she has stage 4 stomach cancer. i do all the cleaning and shopping and cooking(though my mom cant really eat much so im usually cooking for myself.) its very hard to have to see her so sick everyday. it just tears my heart up and really fcks with my head. my boyfriend hasn't been treating me the same. hes called maybe three times in the last two weeks. and he doesn't text me. i have to text him and when i do we'll exchange a couple of messages and then he just wont text me again for the rest of the day. am i wrong to feel hurt about this? i went a few days without trying to reach him and he made no effort either. he wasn't like this before. i haven't seen him in two weeks. he usually visits at least twice a week. i really miss him. i feel less tense when he's around and just kinda better in general. and his hugs are so comforting, i need one really bad right now lol.
oh i have no social life. i have a few friends i guess. but i rarely have the opportunity to do anything since im always taking care of my mama. i don't think they think about me much anymore.

i am very sad and lonely most days. i don't have anyone to talk to or confide in and im tired of crying every night. i feel like my heart grows heavier with every tear. i don't know what to do anymore.
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Whisperer Offline
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Re: man it passes right by me, its behind me, now its gone. - March 18th 2010, 10:28 PM

Hey there,

Sorry to hear you are going through such a rought time right now. I know how you feel though, you aren't alone. My mom has lymphoma and has been having chemo treatments since October. What people say is true: When one member of a family has cancer, the whole family does. It affects everyone so strongly it's almost like everyone has it. Everyone chooses different ways to cope and that's okay. Honestly, I thought my friends hated me since I isolated myself in the beginning. Then I realized they knew I just needed space and were waiting for me when I was ready. They haven't really gone through the same thing so they honestly didn't know what to do.

I think you should talk to your boyfriend about your relationship. Let him know you miss him coming over and texting you. Tell him you are starting to feel depressed and need someone by your side. If he is sincere, he'll be that person. Otherwise, my advice is to find the one who will stick by your side in the toughest of times. It might be hard on him too even though it's hard to think about. You never know how he is feeling until you talk to him.

Remember, you will get through this, no matter how hard it gets.
You just gotta lift your head up and keep on going.
PM me if you EVER want to talk.
Stay strong,


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
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Prozac Offline
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Re: man it passes right by me, its behind me, now its gone. - March 19th 2010, 05:13 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling very good right now and you're having a difficult time.

It is understandable that you're finding it difficult coping with your mother's health, it isn't surprising that you're struggling and it's okay to admit that. It's okay to admit that you need help. Is there anyone that you could talk to, such as your doctor, about getting some extra help when caring for your mother? It's essential that you get some help, too. Even if it is just an hour a week counselling or talking to someone, it could be very beneficial for you. As for your boyfriend, I think it'd be a good idea to talk to him about how you're feeling and how he's making you feel.

Take care.
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