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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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foxchick4 Offline
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makes me feel crappy - March 24th 2010, 02:44 AM

Ever since I was little my mom has always drank way 2 much and she gets really mad really easily and has physically abused me. When i was younger i used to wish that she was different and like my friends moms. and i still do wish them but I know now that she has some problems of her own that she hasn't really ever worked out that have kinda caused all this. And I've dealt with it all better since i realized all this. But when i see me friends hug their moms or say I love you or anything it just makes me feel really young and vulnerable and crappy again. It makes me feel suicidal again every time i think about it. And I know that their parents are always there for me if i needed but its not the same. I've always wished more than anything in the world that i could have a mom like that but I know that it will never happen. But i just don't know how to get past this feeling every time i see other kids with their moms and families and they're all happy. I just don't know how to deal with it all better than I am right now.


♫✮You may have fallen but you still have your wings. All you have to do is learn how to fly again✮♫

you never quit on your
music no matter ♫
what happens. 'cause
anytime something
bad happens to you,
that's the one place
you can escape to
♪ and let it all go...
~august rush

   
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Re: makes me feel crappy - March 24th 2010, 04:56 PM

Hey there,

First of all, it's great that you have decided to reach out for help with this. You are so strong for coping as you have been, but reaching out and admitting that you need help is an even greater display of your strength.

I would also like to remind you that what is going on with your mother is NOT at all your fault. She has some problems that she must work through, but they do not relate to you. The fact that you got caught up in her issues through abuse and emotional distance is awful, and I am so sorry that you have had to cope with all of this.

Is there anyone in your life whom you could speak with about all of this? I think having someone there to support you when things get rough will help a lot in both the short term and the long run. Also, have you considered seeking therapy? Perhaps this could help you to work through what issues you've been fighting, as well as teach you a way to rebuild your relationship with your mother.

Take care. If you ever need anything, I'm here.


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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Re: makes me feel crappy - March 24th 2010, 11:52 PM

Yea i do have some friends and my boyfriend that are really helpful and i actually just started counseling a couple weeks ago. But there's just still some feelings that i don't really know how to explain that i guess i bottled up when I was younger and now I don't even know how to explain them to anyone. Especially to my friends who i know will always be there for me but they don't really understand so it's kinda hard for them to help sometimes. So I'm trying to figure everything out but idk it's just still really hard I guess. It's been a rough last couple of weeks as it is and I've just been feeling really down i guess.


♫✮You may have fallen but you still have your wings. All you have to do is learn how to fly again✮♫

you never quit on your
music no matter ♫
what happens. 'cause
anytime something
bad happens to you,
that's the one place
you can escape to
♪ and let it all go...
~august rush

   
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