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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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*Alyssa* Offline
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Unhappy really depressed - March 25th 2010, 10:34 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i'm really depressed right now. my bf who i have been dating on and off for 6 months basically decided today that he's done with us being together. he doesn't even want to try to get back together anymore. he just wants to stay friends. and i stay friends with him for the simple fact that i cant go a day without talking to him. it hurts when i don't talk to him. i'm still in love with him. i love him with every fiber of my being and thats why i'm just letting it go. only i'm not really. on the inside, i'm dying. all i've thought about for the last few hours is all the ways i could kill myself. all the ways i could just end it and be out of his life forever. I wonder if he'd even miss me when i'm gone. i wonder if he'd visit my grave. if he'd leave me a flower. i wonder if i died....would he finally realize how much i loved him. idk what to do with myself. i just kinda want to cut my wrists wide open and bleed to death. or just....idk, take a lot of pills. anything to not feel this pain anymore. i keep talking to him and i keep trying to be ok with just being his friend, but the honest to god truth is, i cant live like this much longer. i just cant. and i feel like if i maybe, stop talking to him for a while, he'll see how bad i'm hurting and he'll be the old him again and he'll try to fix me up and make me better. or maybe he'll just be happy i'm gone. all i know is.....i want to die
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Re: really depressed - March 25th 2010, 10:53 PM

Hey Alyssa.

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your break up /: that's terrible. It must really hurt a lot. We're always here for you when you're down like this though, never forget that. All of us on TeenHelp, we're here to help you, and get you through some of the darkest moments in your life.

Your life is way too fragile and unique to just let go. I appreciate you coming on here and posting about it so that we know you're hurting. We care about you, and when you become a member of TeenHelp, it's almost like you join our family. We're all close and care about each other so much. If you left us, it would be heartbreaking.

I realize that you are in so much pain, but I think you should just hold on tight to your life. Although he said he was done with you guys going back out, there is still a chance that he'll come back. If you two have been on and off, this might just be a situation where he thinks it'll be over, but he seems to miss you every time you break up. Maybe that will be the case for this time too.

Just hang in there, and be strong. I know it hurts, but you're strong, you can hold on. I have faith in you.

PM me anytime if you need anything, I'm always here for you.

-Kaylaaa<3.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: really depressed - March 26th 2010, 12:12 AM

i really dont think i can hold on anymore all i've thought about all day is the ways i could kill myself right now. i dont know what to do.
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Re: really depressed - March 26th 2010, 12:34 AM

Hey Alyssa,

It's okay to be hurt after a breakup. I'm sure it is extremely painful for you and I am sorry for that. But, people do love you and do care about you. It would hurt your ex a lot. It may even haunt him for the rest of his life. Your family would be devasted and their lives would never be the same. So, suicide isn't the answer. I know how awful you must feel right now, but you're not going to feel this way forever. I promise. You just have to stick it out a little longer. Find someone to talk to about this other then your boyfriend. Just let everything out and get it off your chest. Then find some way to express yourself. Something to live for. Whether it's music, drawing, or writing, they are a magical healing tool.

Also, I think you should go to someone about the way you are feeling. It's okay to reach out and tell someone you need help. Just so someone can be with you and make sure you're safe. And look ahead to the future, things will be better. You won't always feel this way about him. Soon enough you'll realize how much a jerk he was to break up with you and you won't even care. You'll find someone who will be with you forever and not do that to you. Just hang in there for now, we all care about you.
Stay strong,

Alessa


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Re: really depressed - March 26th 2010, 12:42 AM

i have no one else. he is supposed to be my best friend.... i wanted to marry him.....and now i have no one. he wants to be friends but im soooo hurt. i dont even know if i could sleep tonight. maybe i'll cry myself to sleep
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Re: really depressed - March 26th 2010, 07:08 PM

You aren't alone. We are all here for you Alyssa. I'm sure you have other friends or family members you can talk to. I know it may be hard to reach out but it's very important. Plus you'll feel better after! If he hurt so much just tell him you need a break first. Then maybe at a later date you can be friends.


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Re: really depressed - March 26th 2010, 07:14 PM

things will look up! break up pain is only temporary, and if you kill yourself then you'll never have a chance to move on and find the right guy for you. i think you may need to avoid this guy for a while, if seeing him is too painful for you. killing yourself is NEVER the answer. as impossible as it may seem, you will be happy again. and if he still wants to be your friend i am absolutely positive that he would miss you. can imagine the guilt he would feel if you killed yourself because of him? you have such an amazing life, don't give it up because of one idiot. PM me anytime if you want to talk.
   
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Re: really depressed - March 26th 2010, 09:20 PM

Hey,
Trust me I've gone through basically the same thing but different
My ex Austin and I had been together for 2 years on and off, and ever since my dad made us break up last Nov. and I'd been blaming myself
and its taken me until now to realize HE was the jerk not me id let him hurt me if it meant keeping him and if thats how it is with you too then do what I shouldve done and cut it off EARLY before you get hurt worse in the long run


Sami<3
   
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Re: really depressed - March 26th 2010, 10:55 PM

The best support I can think of at this time, for this problem, is to realize that you don't need him to be happy. Sure, he can make you happy, but it certainly isn't the only thing...

His interest in you is gone, and I'm sure he knows you are still interested in him. But the thing is, him breaking up with you isn't about you at all, he is thinking only for himself. The same thing you should be doing as well.

You've gotta move on and focus your interests in other areas now, and stop hoping for him to come back. Because as soon as you do, he won't. Things will play out the way they will, and that is that... nothing more to say than that really.

Take care.


Click here to PM me any time, I'm here to help you if you want to talk to someone.

Beware lest you lose the substance, by grasping at the shadow. - The Dog and the Shadow, Aesop
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