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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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my friend needs help. i dont know what to do. - March 27th 2010, 06:24 AM

My friend, lets call her Jessica, opened up tonight and told me that her father was abusive towards her mother. She never said if he ever hit Jessica herself...and then she just cried and said that I shouldnt worry about her anymore, its pointless. She said that she hates her dad and just wants to move away from him because he gets so angry.
I already messaged her cousin about this, and told one of my friends. what should i do now? i dont think she's suicidal...but i dont knowhow else to help her.
   
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Re: my friend needs help. i dont know what to do. - March 27th 2010, 01:10 PM

Hey Tom,

Well, I'm glad she has a friend like you who cares about her, and that she was comfortable enough to open up to you. I'm sure that was a huge step for her and was possibly very scary, but yeah, I'm just glad that you were calm enough to handle it in a mature way. At this point, I think the best thing you can do is really, really encourage her to speak to a trusted adult at your school (preferably one of the guidance counselors, but a teacher would work out fine) about this matter, especially if you suspect that the dad is also abusing Jessica. It can be very scary to reach out to a professional for help, so perhaps you could volunteer to go with her to the counselor. You wouldn't have to say anything, but I think that just being there for her and going with her would help out a lot.

I don't know this girl, and I don't know her personality, but if it gets to an unsafe point, it might just be best to go ahead and tell your own parents or someone else you trust that you think could help you find the next step and see if they can do anything to help. We also have a thread of Hotlines (many of which pertain to abuse) if you'd like to take a look through those. Otherwise, just REALLY encourage an open line of communication and let her know that you really and truly DO want to help her and be there for her if she ever needs to talk to you. I'm sure she really appreciates it.

Take care.



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Re: my friend needs help. i dont know what to do. - March 28th 2010, 07:16 AM

Hi Tom.

It's good to see that you care so much about your friend, and I know what it's like to want to help but have no idea how to.

I think you should try and get Jessica to talk to somebody about this. Like a counsellor, or even a teacher at school. Like Katrina said, if you volunteer to go with her it might make her more willing to do so. At this stage, since it doesn't seem like she's suicidal, you should try and get her to open up to an adult before you go and tell somebody about her.

If it ever gets to the point, however, where you feel like Jessica is going to hurt or even kill herself, please don't keep it to yourself. That's when you need to tell somebody, anybody - your parents, a teacher, etc.

Other than that, just try and support her as best you can. Let her know you want to help her, and you're there for her.

Once again, kudos for being such a good friend, and I hope things work out well for you.

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