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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Not the average teeange girl
Welcome me, I'm new!
leftinthedarkXxX's Avatar
Name: Adri
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: San Mateo

Posts: 34
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: March 30th 2009

Exclamation i finally thought it was over...i was wrong - March 27th 2010, 06:55 AM

ever since i got a boyfriend things have been great! i stopped self-harming[burning,cutting etc.] and its been almost 6 months since ive lasted SH{as long as we've been dating} and i dont know why, but i still feel depressed once in a while, i try talking to him about it, but i know it makes up upset too. i have depression and he understands that, but he gets so upset when im depressed. i thought everything was over when i met him, but i was wrong. i still get urges to SH. and i almost did once again...
i almost burned myself with my straightener but then my boyfriend came in my room so i stopped. i really dont know how to control my feelings...help?

I want to fly away like a little girl again.
I want to believe in the things i once did.
Ride on the swings,
let the breeze fly through my hair.
Ah, the kid ages.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Katrina Offline
you only live once.
I can't get enough
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Name: Katrina
Gender: Female
Location: New York.

Posts: 3,114
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: i finally thought it was over...i was wrong - March 27th 2010, 12:55 PM

Hey Adri,

I don't necessarily think what you're feeling right now is abnormal. While it would be great to think that another person could completely heal us and rid of us our depression entirely, I unfortunately don't think that's the case. I don't doubt that your boyfriend is doing great things in your life and really helping you through this, but I think an important component of 'healing' that you and he should try to remember is that sometimes, ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away. Instead, I think that you guys should strive for an open line of communication in which you can talk about these things. Chances are, he's fearful he won't know what to say or that he won't know how to help him, but from what you've said, it really just sounds like you need a companion who will be there for you when you need it (not someone who always knows just the 'right' thing to say). Let him know this, and let him know that just by listening to you, he can help you more than he knows.

With all of that said, though, I would maybe try not to be too dependent on him to keep this depression away. It sounds like you guys have a healthful, loving relationship, but if anything ever DOES happen that causes the relationship to end (temporarily or otherwise), you don't want to associate the depression being away with you being in this relationship so that it doesn't come back in full force if the relationship ends, you know? Who knows...this could be a new level in your OWN life (regardless of whether or not he's in it as your boyfriend) where you truly ARE able to better cope with your depression. I mean, on that note, I feel like you have been able to cope with things you're going through. As you mentioned, you've resisted urges so far, and I think that's beyond fabulous. You should be very proud of yourself. (:

Keep in mind the ultimate goal here, which would be to be able to completely resist the urges and temptations of self harm, but don't get overwhelmed with the big picture--sometimes it's slightly less difficult to just take baby steps to get there. I definitely think you can do it. Also, I'm sure you've seen our Alternatives thread, which basically just is a list of a whole lot of alternatives to self harm that you might find helpful, but I'm going to link you to it anyway. If you want to check it out, you can do that here.

Take fabulous care of yourself, and I hope that things shape up soon.

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depression, finally, overi, self-harm, thought, wrong

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