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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Please help someone - March 28th 2010, 10:26 AM

I just don't think I can keep going on. I feel so suicidal right now and I have been feeling this way for a very long time now. I just want to go so much because I don't know where else to go for help because everytime I try nothing seems to help. I want to talk to someone but no one ever wants to listen. I just can't trust myself not to hurt myself and I don't know what to do. Please help.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 28th 2010, 10:34 AM

Hi Saria. I'm sorry to hear things are hard for you.

Talk to us. Tell us why you're feeling like this. We're here to help, after all.

The links in my signature might also help - they're for places around this site where you can get advice, support, or even just to cheer you up.

It's hard feeling like nobody listens or cares, but remember that people do. We do. I do. So please, try and stay safe, and stay strong. You can do this.
xxx


if you know the hunter's coming
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please help someone - March 28th 2010, 10:41 AM

I really don't know where to start I have been through so much and it is all just too much for me to handle now andI just want it all to go away. I don't want to have to live my life anymore and go through everything day after day.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 28th 2010, 02:15 PM

Hey Saria,

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time right now. But you have to remember, suicide is a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem. Because you will feel better, and this will go away. You just have to hang in there. That's great you have recognized you need to talk to someone, that's a big step! Now the next step is to find someone to talk to. Plenty of people are willing to listen, you just have to find them, and that's not always easy. Have you tried going to a counselor at school? They are very supportive and willing to get you the help you need outside of school also. I know it can be scary but it's a step towards feel better and overcoming this. Yes, it may seem impossible to open up your life story to someone you barely know, but trust me, you feel so much better afterwards. You'd be surprised how much people care and how many people you can relate to.

It's important when you open up, to tell the whole story. Don't hold anything back. Because even if you keep it bottled up inside, it's going to come out some time so it might as well be now. Also, tell people you are scared of hurting yourself. Tell them how down you feel and how suicidal you are. It's okay to be afraid, but don't let it hold you back. For now, try to find something that makes you happy. Something to live for. Whether it's the little puppy next door, or a painting you need to finish. If you can't live for yourself, find someone or something to live for. Do things that make you happy. Find someone you can laugh with and talk to. Because happiness is the opposite of how you are feeling right now, and that's what you need. We are always here if you feel comfortable opening up to us. It might help you. Feel free to PM me anytime, I promise I'll listen and do my best to help.

Stay strong,

Alessa


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 28th 2010, 03:01 PM

hey, just want to say, I understand how you feel and I will be happy to talk to you on PM or on Livehelp, just let me know if you want to talk and I will come online for you xx


"Friends are like stars; you don't always see them but you know they are always there"

"It gives me hope. I love you so much. You give me a reason to breathe. Its something for me to not kill myself for" >>> means so much :')

Paramore! <3
Pm me anytime, I like to help!
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 07:52 AM

I just don't know I can't keep doing this everything is too much and I really need it to end now. Everyone says to talk to people but I have tried that and it just doesn't help me and I can't do it. I have one special teacher that I always talk to that I confide in heaps but I just can't seem to talk to her either so I feel as though i can't talk to anyone. I just don't want to go through all I have to anymore.

Please Help
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 07:58 AM

Saria.
You are a strong person. You are strong enough to overcome this.
I know that it's hard reaching out for help, and even harder when you feel like that call for help isn't heeded, but one thing you should never do is give up. If talking to one person doesn't help, try talking to someone else. There's always going to be somebody who can help you, so please keep trying.
Don't give up. You can do this.
x


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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 08:00 AM

I just can't.
No one understand or cares or wants to listen.
I can't keep going. I NEED to Give Up.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 08:09 AM

Sweetie, you want help. You're not going to give up. If you were going to do that, you wouldn't have even posted here. But you did, which shows that you are strong and you are going to fight to be happy. You owe it to yourself to get help.
People do care, and want to listen, and will help. You just have to find the right ones.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 08:12 AM

I really can't
It's too late now to go back.
I can't change the way things happen
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 08:33 AM

While it's true you can't change things that have happened to you in the past, you can always change your future. It's never too late.


if you know the hunter's coming
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'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 10:38 AM

I can't keep doing this, I don't want to go on. THERE IS NO POINT. I just want it to end. I have cried so much it hurts and I am shaking uncontrollably. I can't calm myself down and I just want to kill myself so much. It would be so easy to sli my wrists or overdose right now. No one understands how much I have been through and how it has effected me. No one can hold on to me anymore than anyone can hold on to water. I just want to be let go...
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 10:48 AM

hey Saria!
i agree with Francesca, and all the others in this thread. suicide is not the solution, ever. sometimes it hurts so badly that you don't see any other 'solutions' but 'running away' and giving up on life, but believe us: it's gonna get better.
what happened to you? why do you feel so down? has anything really bad happened recently, or is it a long-lasting problem? do you have anyone, and i mean anyone, an adult (your parents, grandparents, teachers, etc), friends, classmates, who you could talk to irl? it would definitely help you. just please look for opportunities and never, never give up.
fight back! just the fact that you came here and asked for help shows how very, very strong you are. we believe in you!
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 11:30 AM

Hello Saria. I'm Miranda...Yes, I was suicidal a few times in my life, but I'm okay now aren't I? Honey, in order to change things, you have to help yourself, for others to help you. Things may seem bad at the moment but they WILL change. Life is not meant to end as soon as something turns bad. I changed, because I was strong, and I fought for my hapiness, and believe me, I've been through a lot. You ARE strong, and you CAN fight. Don't end things so soon, life can be full of great things, and you'll never see them if you don't carry on. You have to be STRONG. You want help, but you have to let that help in in order for it to actually help you. You need to try to accept the things everyone says on here...because everyone has a point. Honey, don't give up, it'll all be okay, don't deny it now, because you never know what the future has in store fore you. <3 take care.



   
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Re: Please help someone - March 29th 2010, 09:47 PM

Saria,
It's okay to feel this way. But you NEED to reach out and get help so you can feel better! Trust me, it's surprising how many people are really there for you in time of need, even if you thought you were alone. If you can't talk to someone, call a suicide hotline. I know it may be scary but all the people are there to help you so you don't have to feel this way. It may take a little work, but you can do it! I know you can! You do NOT need to give up! You are so much stronger than that! Tell yourself you can overcome this and don't let it get the best of you. You do not need to fight this alone, we are all here for you.


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please help someone - March 30th 2010, 07:27 AM

I normally do talk to people but I just can't seem to talk at the moment. I don't feel as though talking will help. It will only make things worse.

I just can't go on.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 30th 2010, 09:29 AM

Please don't give up.
All the people here at Teen Help would love to listen, and be here. We do care about you!

PM me if you need to talk okay?




   
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Re: Please help someone - March 30th 2010, 11:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saria View Post

I just don't
know I can't keep doing this everything is too much and I really need it to end now. Everyone says to talk to people but I have tried that and it just doesn't help me and I can't do it. I have one special teacher that I always talk to that I confide in heaps but I just can't seem to talk to her either so I feel as though i can't talk to anyone. I just don't want to go through all I have to anymore.

Please Help
Saria,

I have felt like that a hundred times. I can't guarantee that I have had something as bad as you have, but here is what happened to me:

My parents were abusive and insane. I have a bunch of neurological mutations. Fortunately, I'm sane, but the kids at school always rejected me and it took me most of my life to find someone who could understand me. Aside from the social problems, living with these neurological mutations has been really hard. I am super sensitive. If I am upset I absolutely can't ignore it - no escape. I get bored with everything. I get things backwards and sometimes lose the ability to talk. I seem to have my own way of doing everything. No one knew what was going on with me. I had to figure it out the neurological differences for myself. To top it all off, I have so many food allergies (and digestive problems due to the food allergies) that 99% of the food that is out there is off limits to me. No cookies, no pizza, no chocolate candy. I can't even have normal things like breakfast cereal or a piece of fruit. There are two entire food groups that are off limits plus half of another and 90% of another.

So, I have no family, I spent most of my life feeling like I have no friends, and I can't eat anything. And my income is below the poverty line. I'm sure there are other things, but I'll stop here.


I know what its like to have a horrible life and to have some truly difficult problems. I also know how empty it is to be told "It will all be okay!" by people that are totally clueless about what it is to have a truly difficult life and how discouraging it is when they just don't freaking understand. Also, I am an emotional support veteran. I've heard just about every kind weird crazy thing you can imagine. You are invited to talk to me if you want to.


If not, remember that there are suicide hotlines you can call. I'd find you one but I don't know where "Gold Coast" is. I bet you could find one for your state very easily with Google, or at least a suicide hotline somewhere in your country.

Last edited by loves_to_help; March 30th 2010 at 11:22 AM.
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 31st 2010, 11:44 AM

Everything is just getting worse. I want to give up. I just don't think I can go on and I don't see why I shouldn't give up.

Last edited by Whisperer; March 31st 2010 at 02:52 PM. Reason: Good-bye post
   
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Re: Please help someone - March 31st 2010, 01:00 PM

Saria,

Sometimes there's something that would help but it isn't obvious. It can be excruciatingly hard to come up with any ideas when one feels like one's life as terrible as yours is right now. When depressed, the brain literally does not have the right chemistry to think of creative solutions. Without serotonin and dopamine, it can even be hard to believe that options exist. It is a good idea, when in that state, to ask some people who are not depressed if they can come up with an idea - they might see something that you miss.

It may be that you are stuck because your brain won't think of a solution right now, not because there isn't a solution. If there is even the slightest possibility that a solution is out there, does it really make sense to commit suicide?

Even with all the problems I have had, there were solutions. My crazy, abusive parents? Well, I moved out and don't talk to them anymore. I healed the psychological damage. The neurological mutation? I learned everything I could about it and now I am okay. The social problems? I figured out a strategy that finds understanding people. The food allergies? Well, I built a diet that I enjoy and I even figured out how to make treats by substituting other ingredients.

Death is permanent but this problem might not be. Wouldn't it make sense to ask around for some ideas?
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 1st 2010, 05:42 AM

I have tried to get help but it just doesn't seem as though I am meant to be helped.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 1st 2010, 07:26 AM

You are meant to be helped. You are worth it, trust me. Please get help.


if you know the hunter's coming
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'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please help someone - April 1st 2010, 09:56 AM

I just don't know who to ask for help though!! It is so fustrating. I want to talk to my teacher again but then I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 1st 2010, 11:10 PM

Saria,

Aww, honey. Sometimes a problem can be so frightening that it appears like you aren't meant to be helped. Sometimes one has to ask 20 different people before they get the right answer. I have had problems where I had to try a hundred different things to solve it, but I was persistent and it worked!

I have never met a problem I couldn't solve by being persistent and just trying a whole big bunch of different things.

Thomas Edison tried 100 light bulb designs before he found one that would work. Now we use them so easily that we don't even think about it.

That is how the worst problems are - they look impossible at first, but if you persist, you will tame them.

Just try things, Saria. Try anything. Try everything. Throw spaghetti at the wall - that's what experimenting is all about. Become a scientist doing research to find a cure.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 1st 2010, 11:13 PM

You're still young, you have so much life ahead of you and you have no reason to give up. There is never a good excuse to give up and kill yourself, because then you leave the people behind who love you to mourn your loss, maybe never even get over it. If you need someone to talk to who will listen, you can PM me anytime. You know there are people out there who care, we care, I care and I know how it feels to be suicidal, and how to get through it.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 1st 2010, 11:25 PM

Saria,

If you would like someone to talk to about making your decision about whether to tell your teacher or not, you are invited to send me an email.

If not, think about this:

This problem is killing you. If there are bad consequences that will happen to someone if you do tell your teacher, does that person deserve to have you DIE just to keep you quiet?

If you are thinking "Oh my teacher will be so upset" - ask yourself this: If your teacher were to choose between having you alive and being upset, or having you dead and never being told, what do you think she would choose?
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 12:26 AM

I know I want to talk to me teacher now. I have made that decision though it will have to wait until school holidays have finished and I'm not sure I can hodl on that long.

No one knows everything I have been through and no one seems to understand how hard if it for me to hang on.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 01:35 AM

Saria,

"Yeah, I know. Nobody who hasn't been through something this horrible will ever understand and it always seems like for every person who truly has had something so terrible happen to them that they can grasp the concept there are ten more people who just don't get it."

I, for one, understand that it is really important for something to be done about this right away. I think this is so bad that you should contact her even though she isn't in school right now. In case you don't have her contact information, here are a variety of ways you can contact her sooner:


1. Try looking her number up. Google maps might work. Just put in her first and last name and the city and state your school is in. If that doesn't work, try 411 - you can even tell them to search in cities nearby if you don't know what city it is.


2. If you have her email address, try sending her an email. She might not check her work address, so I would try other things at the same time.


3. If you have her real name, or any of her email addresses, you can find her on the internet. She might have a facebook, linkedin, myspace, twitter, blog or other website. Do a google search for her name and see what comes up. Go to facebook, linkedin, myspace, twitter and put in her email address and see if you can find her.


4. If she has a website with it's own URL, you can do a whois lookup on the domain name.
http://www.networksolutions.com/whois/index.jsp If it says private registration, DO call/email/whatever the privacy registration information. It is their job to give all of the messages they receive to her. They may not read the emails or reply back to you, though, so send a note just like you would if you were sending it to her directly.

5. You can also do the whois lookup above on your school website's domain name. Try calling/emailing all their contact info. Also, look for even more contact info on the contact link at the site. Just because school is out doesn't mean that nobody's there. If those guys don't take you seriously, or you're afraid to call, I'll call them myself.


6. Think of anyone you could ask for her number, anyone that's been to her house, anyone that's friends with her, other teachers might have her information, etc.


If none of that works, I could think up new ideas about how you could get through school break almost till the end of the universe. I don't want this post to get too long so I am going to give you a few ideas, and then if they aren't good enough, I will think of some more.


Lets try at least 100 things.


1. You could see a doctor for some anti-depressants. If you don't have any money, you could find one with a free initial appointment and then ask for some free anti-depressant samples.
These may not kick in right away. #3 has an idea that does.

2. You could seek a counselor or therapist. If you don't have any money, find one with a free initial appointment.

3. Get a tryptophan supplement - or chocolate or bananas are high in trypotophan. Tryptophan is a natural substance in food that the body uses to make serotonin, the chemical that makes you feel happy. This does kick in right away - after you eat all the ingredients necessary to process it. Sometimes the effect is intense, sometimes it's subtle. The other ingredients needed to process it are: Vitamin B complex (specifically the complex - though some kind of B is better than nothing!). If you have no B complex pills, eat a food high in vitamin B. Then eat a piece of sweet fruit - there are sugars in the fruit that are needed to process tryptophan into serotonin. Then drink four glasses of fluids - not all at once though. Only as much as you can comfortably drink every 15 minutes. Do the tryptophan ritual several times a day.
Do not eat tryptophan with protein rich foods (think meats/nuts/beans/eggs), that will block it from absorbing but the best idea is to eat it all alone - except for the fruit and vitamin B food and water I mentioned.

4. Caffeine may make you feel better. It is addictive though. But I drink caffeinated tea in tight spots and quit later on. If you hate coffee, have some sodas.

5. You could sleep the whole time.

6. You could look for a self-help book that might make you feel better.

7. You could do all of those things all at once.

Last edited by loves_to_help; April 2nd 2010 at 01:41 AM.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 01:48 AM

Saria,

I am sending you my instant messenger handle. I want to know that you are going to make it through for at least one day. 24 hours. You gotta take this one day at a time. That's a major trick for getting through a real bad spot like this one is. The reason I am sending you my instant messenger handle is in case the ideas on the last post are not good enough to keep you going for 24 more hours. If you don't think you're going to make it for one more day, I want you to message me. Will you do that? If you don't want to use IM, I do understand, but that is the best way to get my attention because it makes a noise.

I will only be awake a few more hours so I would very much like to know how long you think you'll make it before I go to sleep.

Last edited by loves_to_help; April 2nd 2010 at 01:55 AM.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 01:49 AM

Thanks,

There are lots of good ideas there though I just feel that I'm not that important to be contacting and bothering her and I feel as though she'll think I am obsessed with her. Also I feel as though I am making this into a big deal when I don't think it is because I could just end it all by giving up. And even if I did mange to contact her I feel as though she would think I am stalking her and I just wouldn't know what to say but at the same time I feel as though I am being paranoid.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 02:21 AM

Saria.

You are important. You are a wonderful and worthwhile person, and you deserve help. I'm sure your teacher will want to help you, and won't think you're obsessed with her or anything.

Reaching out to her for help might seem like a difficult thing to do, but it's the right thing to do as well, and I've no doubt that you're strong enough to do it.

Good luck, and keep fighting.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 02:22 AM

Saria,

Lets look at these one at at time.

"I just feel that I'm not that important to be contacting and bothering her"

Is there anyone in the world you would not give two hours to if it would save their life?

If someone would not give you two hours to spare your life, wouldn't that be wrong?

Everyone has more worth than that. Including you!



"I feel as though she'll think I am obsessed with her."

You have a very big need right now. Everyone who has a big need acts obsessed with their need. If we didn't then when we were starving, we wouldn't focus on finding food. When we were dehydrated, we wouldn't focus on finding water. Your obsession is just a sign that you really need something. At first it might seem odd that you called her. But you just have to plan out what to say. Once you tell her how big the problem is she will see immediately that you aren't obsessed with her, it is the problem you are obsessed about. If it is too hard to tell her the whole problem in the first sentence, you can tell her "I have a big problem and you are the only person in the world I feel safe telling it to. Can you make some time to talk to me now?" I don't think anyone would be able to say no to that question.

If its really hard to talk to her and say what it is, you can start saying stuff like "This is really really hard to talk about so please be patient while I find the guts to tell you." I am sure she will be compassionate enough to be patient for you.

And you can ask her some stuff like "I am worried you will feel X so please try not to" or "I feel really bad about X so please be gentle with me" and I'm sure she will help console your fears about talking about it.

If you're anything like me... I'd probably burst into tears the second she got on the phone. That would say it all, though. It would say "I have a huge problem, so please don't assume I am bothering you for no good reason" it would say "I am afraid and feel bad so please be careful with my feelings." crying would work just as well.



"Also I feel as though I am making this into a big deal when I don't think it is because I could just end it all by giving up."

You sound like me. When I was 13 my mom was so mean to me I thought that she hated me and it made me want to die. I didn't think I was important enough to go to the bother of asking someone to help me. I thought it was my fault she was being so mean to me. She blamed me for her behavior, so I did too.

Well, I found out Saria, that her behavior was her own fault. She should have controlled it. You have been exercising immense and superhuman self-control, to avoid asking anyone for anything even though you want to DIE. If a 14 year old could do that, my mother certainly should have exercised self-control before flying off the handle at me and screaming and calling me names and making me cry and saying such horrible things that it made me think she hated me.

Whoever treated you like you are worthless is the one with the problem, not you. Gotta add up all the factors: You, at 14, have ten thousand million times more self control than that person does. Your need is extreme, but you don't even want to ask your teacher for a few hours of her time to talk. That's self-control! You're overdoing it, but man is that an impressive feat of self-control or what?

You have all the self-control here, Saria.

The other person does not. There is something wrong with them, not you!



"And even if I did mange to contact her I feel as though she would think I am stalking her and I just wouldn't know what to say but at the same time I feel as though I am being paranoid."

Well, all you have to do is just plan out what to say. As soon as she knows you want to talk to her about a big problem, she will understand that you don't want to hurt her.

Everyone needs someone to talk to when they are down. Everyone needs a good friend. You feel about this teacher the way a person feels about a good friend. Nothing wrong with that!
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 02:31 AM

"I just feel that I'm not that important to be contacting and bothering her"

I didn't used to think I was important either. I had no idea... but it turned out that I am very important.

I help lots of people who are in need. I really make a difference in their lives. I have practiced it so much that I am very very good at it. That is all you need to do to become important. Just decide on something you feel is important and practice and practice.

No one can tell you whether you will be important or not. That is because this is your choice. You can choose to become an important person. No one has the right to take that opportunity away from you by convincing you that you are unimportant. You do not have to believe anyone who tells you that you are unimportant or treats you like you are unimportant. You can choose to learn to do something important anyway.

"God calls us all, you choose yourself."
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 02:33 AM

Got a duplicate somehow...
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 03:11 AM

I just don't know anymore!!
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 03:14 AM

What are you frustrated about?
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 03:17 AM

Everything... I don't even know if I don't want to live anymore, or if I do want to live. These feelings are just too overwhelming!
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 03:21 AM

Okay I have an idea... Just a minute...
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 03:31 AM

Saria,

I just called 1 800 suicide for you to check it out for you.

If I was you, my worst fear calling a suicide hot line is that the suicide line would tell my parents things. So I asked them that when I called. They will not tell your parents.

The hot line is a little bit busy right now so I had to wait for 5 minutes, but they did pick my call up promptly.

The guy who answered was a really sweet person. You should try it.

Maybe you can even talk to them about this thing you want to talk to your teacher about.
   
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Re: Please help someone - April 2nd 2010, 03:36 AM

I see now that you are in Australia and the number I gave you is for America.

Lets see here...

http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/inte...-hotlines.html

I can't call them for you because its too far away. I live in America. You could try asking them the same questions I did.
   
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