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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ella.x Offline
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How do I make it stop? - March 28th 2010, 11:17 PM

My mood swings are so bad at the moment. I can go from feeling as if I'm high to being suicidal in seconds. I just cut myself and all I want to do is cut deeper so that I can die. I was fine this morning. I'm sick of this. I'm going to overdose soon. I know it. I'm scared of myself. My psychiatrist said that I might have "emotionally unstable personality disorder". I've done some research and it seems like it's the same as borderline personality disorder, which I have most of the symptoms of.
I'm sick of the mood swings. I just wasnt it all to stop. I can't deal with this. someone help please?
   
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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 29th 2010, 12:01 AM

Hey Ella

I know how you feel. Instability doesn't sound like much, but it racks you. Take a few deep breaths. I know it's hard, but you can't lose hope. I know it seems like things will never improve, but life is long and it's going to have ups and downs no matter what. It's all we can do to keep hoping and smiling. Please PM me if you'd like
Love,
Toz


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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 29th 2010, 12:18 AM

I know precisely what you're going through. I change moods so quickly and without reasons most days and it just tears me down. One second I'm happy and laughing, next I'm lashing out at everyone, even myself. When I seem happy, I usually hurt so much inside that I just want to die, and the fact that I can't make myself stop laughing makes it hurt so much more. For once I'd like to truly feel one single emotion....and for longer than a few hours, if that. I've been called bipolar and schizo just by my family. I too am scared of myself. I cut about a month ago every day for a week. I thought I was doing ok, but today I pulled out the knife again. I wasn't feeling all that depressed when I did, but then I cut across one of my scars from the last time...deeper than I first did.

I'm afraid I don't really know how to help. I wish I could take away all your pain and suffering. I wish we could both just feel normal again. Just know that you're not alone.


-B
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R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 29th 2010, 08:37 AM

Hey there.

Mood swings really can be tiring, not to mention confusing. Something that might help is to count to ten before acting on anything. Deep breaths are good too.

As far as I know, borderline personality disorder is the same as emotionally unstable personality disorder. It's just that some people are beginning to object to how the word 'borderline' stigmatises people with that disorder, and prefer different names.

You say you see a psychiatrist, which is a good thing, and I'm sure s/he can provide you with the best advice and strategies for coping with your mood swings.

Remember, though, that things will get better, in time, and with help.

Take care, and I hope you feel better soon.
x


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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 29th 2010, 08:47 PM

I'm so sick of this. I can't take it anymore. It's too much. I just want to die. I need to end it all. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
   
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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 31st 2010, 08:25 AM



You can do this. You are going to keep fighting, and you are not going to give up. You are a strong person, and you will get through this. Remember that.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 31st 2010, 01:31 PM

My mood swings are so much worse now. I haven't been to a single lecture this week. I've just been sat in my room smoking, drinking and doing drugs. I can't face the world. I literally cannot do it. I can barely even leave my room to go to toilet or get a drink. This is killing me. I know the drugs and alcohol are going to make things worse but I can't be sober at the moment. I'm too scared.
   
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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 31st 2010, 03:08 PM

For your own sake you need to stop. You have a very valuable place in this world. You have future and there are many things that you still deserve the chance to enjoy.

You need to do this. We at this community believe in you. You need to get up and get help now. You may not think it will do any good. But you need to listen to me. I was once suicidal, I felt the same way that you did. I felt there was no hope for me, that I just wanted to drop dead. The whole world seemed as if it was working against me. I felt that I was unloved and that nobody was willing to understand me so that there was no point in living. But now my life is perfect in so many ways now. I know in your ailing condition it will be hard, but you need to think as strongly as possible - there are many people that will be unable to live with themselves without you. You mean the world to somebody. And if you can't think of anyone, than that person might as well be me.

Please... I need you to save yourself. You must fight these feelings. You can do it. I believe in you.
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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 31st 2010, 04:09 PM

I can't save myself. I've tried so hard, but I can't anymore. Every time I get close to helping myself, I screw it up. It's like I won't allow myself to be happy. I don't know how to stop it.
   
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Re: How do I make it stop? - March 31st 2010, 04:33 PM

The only reason your recovery is screwing up is because you are giving up to easily. You need to pucker up the strength to pull yourself out of this. Your situation will get better. I know you can do it, because if you are in the mindset where you able to get on the computer and posting on this forum, you are capable of pulling yourself out of this. I know you are. I know that you are still a truly wonderful girl that wants to live. You must fight these feelings. These thoughts that you are feeling are not yours but are probably related to the drugs. These thoughts are not you. This is not what you want. Get yourself help. Please.
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