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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
I-Love-him Offline
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does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 12:58 PM

if so, talk to me. i need to know i'm not alone.

i have depression and anxiety. the medication i'm on makes me angry.
i feel like i'm not getting anywhere in life, it's like in going in a circle, constantly trying as hard as i can but failing.
I tell people how i'm feeling but they don't understand, sometimes ignore me, don't listen and just give up.

Ever felt like your just living for everyone else? I DO! i feel like there is nothing worth living for except my boyfriend and mum and dad but other than that, i'm unhappy with life.

Anyone else ever felt like this or is feeling like this now? please talk to me. i just need someone, ANYONE to talk to.
thanks.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 01:19 PM

hey hun... i used to be like this all the time...
never had medication though. but had been in counselling for quite long.
and yea i know how dark it can get
how each day just seems hopeless even if one day you decided you'd wanna give that day a fair shot..
but *hugs* i'm telling you now that it can change... i'm not completely free from depression but it's mild now and life has become easier to handle
i know what it's like feeling like you're living for other people. and i must say it has been doing just that that kept me alive until the help i got actually helped..
so yea, if u wanna talk, pm me anytime (:



and the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 02:38 PM

Hey there!
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time at the moment- I can completely relate to how you're feeling at the moment. I just wanted to say that you're most definitely not alone, not in the slightest. I do always feel like I'm just living for other people... I really am just living for other people. The main reason I'm still alive is other people, because I don't want to hurt them. Just hang in there and hopefully when things get better, you'll find a reason to live for you.
Take care.
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 03:53 PM

Hi there,

You are definitely NOT alone. I feel like this every single day. Last year I thought a lot about suicide, I even wanted to do it seriously, but I lived for my mom. There were moments I wished all my family would die so that I could just kill myself. But I thought, I only have to live for two people; dad and mom. My mom has just died, and now I am thinking about suicide every day, I do not want to live in this painful filthy world anymore, but i tell myself i have to live for my dad. I do not love him that much, really...
I just feel that I do not want to put my family through more pain, but the thought of dying death, being gone never goes away from my head.

Each morning I wake up and i know that the day is not ending up with me dying, no matter how much I hate life and how much i want to die. Partly I think I'm scared of the pain in the last minute, but I'm also waiting.

I tell myself that I will never get married and when my dad dies and my brothers have their own family, i would kill myself.
Now it's just not time yet.

you are not alone...


These walls that I can't break down...
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 04:56 PM

it's relieving to hear that i'm not alone.

your stories are realy sad .
I just feel like i'm in an ever ending circle. i try my hardest and then just fail fail FAIL. no one seems to notice how hard i'm trying. ok i'm not that clever but i'm trying my best. i'm butt ugly and just pathetic to be honest.

I live for my boyfriend and my mum. I'd never want anything to happen to them and i know it would kill them both if i died. but i'm just not happy wth my life and living for other people is just making me miserable. i love my boyfriend and mum but i'm getting no where in life and i feel like i'm either gonna end up relying on others for the rest of my life or just dying.

Today i have thought about ending my life but something stops me (probly my nerves lol). i just need a hug.

i hope life gets better for you all soon
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 05:19 PM

hey
I know where you are, I am in the same position. It feels like we are fighting all this alone, and no one out there even realise it. Many times I wish someone would just know what I am dealing with, that I am struggling so bad, yet all i can do is smiling.

I know exactly what you mean, please believe me. Living with all this sure makes us miserable. I think each day it is all about our decision; to cause them pain, or to end our pains. Sometimes I tell myself 'just be selfish for once and everything ends', but being selfish is not that easy when you are tied to love - even a bit of love.


*million hugsss*


These walls that I can't break down...
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 05:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatpersonIusedtobe View Post
hey
I know where you are, I am in the same position. It feels like we are fighting all this alone, and no one out there even realise it. Many times I wish someone would just know what I am dealing with, that I am struggling so bad, yet all i can do is smiling.

I know exactly what you mean, please believe me. Living with all this sure makes us miserable. I think each day it is all about our decision; to cause them pain, or to end our pains. Sometimes I tell myself 'just be selfish for once and everything ends', but being selfish is not that easy when you are tied to love - even a bit of love.


*million hugsss*
i feel sorry for you. sounds like your going through a lot.

i've thought it through and i'm going to do it, tonight i'm going to kill myself. i'm gonna be brave and selfish and just do it. no one really gives a toss.they'll just worry about the money
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 05:42 PM

Hey there,

You are certainly not the only person that feels this way - infact, many people unfortunately do feel how you're feeling right now. You are not alone. There are many people who have also gotten themselves through those negative feelings and come out as a stronger person.

I think that it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone about how you're feeling, whether it is your doctor, one of those people you are living for, or a crisis hotline. You do not have to deal with this by yourself. It is good that you are living for those people, it shows that you care about them and I'd imagine that they really care about you, too.

Hold on and reach out.
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 05:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Konstantine View Post
Hey there,

You are certainly not the only person that feels this way - infact, many people unfortunately do feel how you're feeling right now. You are not alone. There are many people who have also gotten themselves through those negative feelings and come out as a stronger person.

I think that it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone about how you're feeling, whether it is your doctor, one of those people you are living for, or a crisis hotline. You do not have to deal with this by yourself. It is good that you are living for those people, it shows that you care about them and I'd imagine that they really care about you, too.

Hold on and reach out.
i've tried but friends and family just don't wanna know or don't understand.
i wanna end it tonight,so so bad.
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 06:14 PM

That is surely not gonna be true!! They will not just think about the money, it is YOU that they are going to miss. A mother surely loves her child and she will not want you to die. You know when it's so hard I always hug my mom and it makes things better even though she never know what I was going through, you can do that too. Every minute that I lived for my mom was never a waste. I am sure she loves you as much as you love her, and also your boyfriend.

stay strong, think a lot about your mom and boyfriend


These walls that I can't break down...
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 29th 2010, 06:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatpersonIusedtobe View Post
That is surely not gonna be true!! They will not just think about the money, it is YOU that they are going to miss. A mother surely loves her child and she will not want you to die. You know when it's so hard I always hug my mom and it makes things better even though she never know what I was going through, you can do that too. Every minute that I lived for my mom was never a waste. I am sure she loves you as much as you love her, and also your boyfriend.

stay strong, think a lot about your mom and boyfriend
she loves her money,more than me. my boyfriend is too busy for me.he won't notice.give it a month or so and everyone will have forgot about me anyway.

   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 30th 2010, 12:50 PM

hey hun, i really hope that you're still holding on...
give life another chance. give it a chance after another...
once you choose to give up, there's no turning back. suicide is permanent. too permanent.
please hun, be safe



and the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 31st 2010, 12:33 AM

I hear you,i feel exactly the same. One day i can be happy the next sad, or angry or i can feel every of those emotions in one day.
I feel like im living in this world for nothing. everybody and evryone seems to dissapoint me in life. I feel like theres nothing here for me.The only people that keeps me going is my family especially my mother because she is the only one i know would truely care if i were gone.
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 31st 2010, 01:41 AM

Hey there,

You know, we all face so many battles in life, and sometimes they make it seem as if life is simply worthless.

I've had depression for about two years now, though, and I can honestly tell you that if not for my depression, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. In some ways that would be a blessing, but in others it would really be a misfortune. For instance, I feel that I have a knack for helping and supporting others, and I truly feel that I get that from the hard times I've had to suffer through due to my depression. It's connected me more with the world, in a way. It has given me more insight, and it's taught me things that I feel very proud and fortunate to know. In short, I am a firm believer that everything we go through, we go through for a reason. It might not always seem like it, but there is always a reason for the pain we suffer through.

I never noticed how much people cared until I told them that I had depression. I thought that if I were to simply kill myself it wouldn't even matter in the morning, but my family and my friends proved me wrong. Once I took a step back and truly looked at my life, I realize that there's a lot more to live for than I always thought.

They're small things, and to some people they may seem meaningless. But I can give you a list of them, and all together I like to think that they add up to a lot. When you add them up, you get my life. The small things, the big things, everything. There are so many things that form our lives. And every single one of them is a reason to be alive. You can even find a whole list of them here: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-d...-reasons-live/

If you still feel as if you have nothing to live for, then you already have a reason to live. To find something to live for. Try new things that you feel you might enjoy in life. Get out, have fun. Explore life beyond depression. Find those reasons to live that you seem to feel you lack. Even if you feel you have nothing to live for, that's a reason to live in itself.

You definitely are not alone in this whatsoever. I used to believe I was too, but throughout time I've realized that there are many people who feel exactly the same as I do. You'll find this out by browsing these support forums, by asking the people around you about depression, even by listening to music. They are millions of negative emotions out there, so many things to cry about, to wish we were dead for. We all suffer, we all continue to suffer. But it's our duty to see beyond the suffering, and to find reasons to live and reasons to fight regardless of it. It's our job to realize that the only way to escape the suffering and the depression is to live, not to die.

I can tell you these things, but the full impact of what I am saying won't do much good until you realize it for yourself. It might not seem like it right now, but in years from now you'll find that you've learned an awful lot through your depression and the other struggles you may be facing. Our struggles are what make us who we are, good and bad. One day, you'll find them worthwhile. That's yet another reason to continue living!

I hope that things look up for you soon. Keep fighting, and I promise things will get better for you! I'm always willing to talk, so PM me anytime.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: does anyone else feel like this? - March 31st 2010, 03:32 AM

I don't want to say "I know what you're going through" because everyone who's ever given me that cheap consolation really has no idea, but I can say that you're definitely not alone.

In the last six months, I've been through six antidepressants, some standalone, some conjunctively. Zoloft made me (more) suicidal and insomniac, lexapro cost a fortune and insurance wouldn't cover it, Prozac made me feel like an mindless zombie, Xanax/Klonopin dulled the pain temporarily, Wellbutrin did nothing, and Lamictal hasn't helped yet.

I'm living only for my mom. My dad's a good person, but I blame him for a lot of my problems and we've never been close. I can count the friends who haven't deserted me on one hand. I trust no one and am in agony every day because I've never had a relationship and probably never will. As for faith, I relate well with Job -- "The lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away." I was given everything but the only thing that really matters -- the ability to love and be loved.

The "good" Lord has given me the means to take my life peacefully at any moment -- as a diabetic, I can literally commit "carbicide" or just inject myself with a massive quantity of insulin. But I'm still holding on. Deep inside, I know there's a better future out there than death.

Please try to maintain hope, it's the only thing that can keep you strong through the moments you feel that life is too much to bear. If you need someone to talk to, I'd love to hear your story.

--James
   
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