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ntguard19 Offline
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Exclamation i dont know why i am down - March 30th 2010, 05:03 AM

The past couple of days i have been hanging out with my friends and normally that helps me feel better but lately i have been feeling left out. I do not know why but i just get the feeling they don't want to talk to or be around me. Sunday night i cried cause i had so much bottled up. I find things out last. when i find out they say sorry but i don't feel like they are. I am happy that 2 of my friends are dating and i understand that now i will be left out some but i get pissed off when no one talks to me. I feel like moving far away and start my life over. As i am old enough to move i don't have the finance to do so. I cant get out of debt and i use the support of my family. i know i need to get my act together but i can not find a job. as i am siting here typing this up i am starting to get mad cause it is making me think i am not wanted. my friends don't tell me anything any more. i use to text them a lot but now im lucky if i get 5 text in 24hr. so i guess this is more of a rant than asking for help. but i want to make new friends but this is hard for me as i am o.c.d. (just a little), i suffer from depression, i know i am (b.p.d.) borderline personality disorder, and its also hard cause i am bi and when people find out they stop talking to me. I don't know what or how to make friends with out hurting myself by over loading them.
sorry this was long and more of a rant than anything. thank you for taking the time to read and help me.
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Re: i dont know why i am down - March 30th 2010, 06:13 AM

i know how hard this is. i just started college and because of that i have way less time for my little group of friends. if i'm not busy, they are. and vice versa. i'm usually shy and don't reach out to people very much, but because i got so lonely i made an extra effort to make friends. i know how lonely it can be and as much as filling your time with a job and other things will distract you. You need to make other friends as well. You've alreadly had two people be your friends right? and from how you described how it used to be, they were good friends. Well you can do it again. You can make other good friends. And yeah people might be stupid and walk away cause your bi and because of your despression and bpd. But then they're missing and not you. Don't let them get you down because of that. Just try again. Because there is people out there that you can be good friends with.

" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: i dont know why i am down - April 1st 2010, 11:42 PM

Well, don't worry about it. I know this seems as if I don't know what I am saying but I among many people have trouble making friends.

The reason i tell you not to worry is because sometimes when we want so badly to make friends, even in a 100 people there may not be any one good enough to be a friend -- by that i mean a friend who is a true friend in every sense in the word, not an acquaintance.

So make the effort to make new friends but get to know them first, whether they are good people, people who will not judge you. But just be patient and make the effort also to keep in touch with your current friends. But remember keep living your life, because it just isn't something to make you extremely sad.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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