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maiai Offline
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Loneliness. Persistently feeling detatched from others. - April 4th 2010, 03:45 PM

I'm really struggling with an intense feeling of loneliness. I went on a website and I've copied and pasted the things on it which apply to me. I have friends but barely anyone I really connect with and no-one I can talk about my loneliness with because I don't think people could understand it. I'm not literally alone I just have a feeling of loneliness and complete detachment from others around me. I really long for a relationship but it's impossible for me to really meet anyone until I'm at Uni in October. There's only like 20 guys in my year at school and they're all chavs or thick or just not into girls yet. I've been feeling this way for 2-3 years now, partially because my close friends are all in long term relationships, but that can't be all of it. I'm not jealous of them, I do envy what they have, but I'm happy for them at the same time. I don't know what I want from this. I just hoped that there might be someone somewhere who has had something similar. I've only ever told one person about it and she was very nice, but she just said, 'we all get lonely sometimes' but this just isn't the same thing as that. It's the feeling of being emotionally detatched from just about everyone which is so weird and so difficult to get rid of. I'm struggling to sleep and concentrate on school work, which is very important right now so I can get my grades for uni. Please, if there's anyone who has any words of advice, let me know.


'•unrequited love or passion, or simply wanting an intimate and sexual relationship and failing to find one

•the feeling of disillusionment after having shared too much with someone who doesn't understand

•simply having no-one to turn to when life gets tough

I've said that there are many reasons for feeling alone, but perhaps there is really only one cause. Loneliness sets in when we cannot - for whatever reason - share our thoughts and feelings with someone whom we trust, and who we know will care. Care enough to listen to what we are saying, even if he or she is busy. Care enough to try to understand what we feel and why. Care enough to empathise rather than merely offer sympathy or condolence.'
   
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Re: Loneliness. Persistently feeling detatched from others. - April 4th 2010, 05:10 PM

Wow, I'm deafinitely same as you, I always long for relationship, I always feel isolated and it's that feeling, it's quite hard to describe isn't it? I struggle with sleep and finding it hard to concentrate on my coursework for my grades, as I am well behind it. I have no one to turn to either. I failed to find love or any attachment. What I suggest you to do is try to focus on your grades (I know it's very hard in that process) and I can't believe that person said "we get lonely sometimes". I was well shocked!! I find that hurtfull. And sometimes help does help but not always, as it didn't for me.

But we're in this together, I promise. Try to be more positive and try not to let negativity get to you, try to think "I'm concentrating on something that I'll need for the rest of my life." Because it's not always too late to think about it afterwards.

I'm here if you need me. Just PM Me.
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Re: Loneliness. Persistently feeling detatched from others. - April 4th 2010, 07:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eljoria View Post
Wow, I'm deafinitely same as you, I always long for relationship, I always feel isolated and it's that feeling, it's quite hard to describe isn't it? I struggle with sleep and finding it hard to concentrate on my coursework for my grades, as I am well behind it. I have no one to turn to either. I failed to find love or any attachment. What I suggest you to do is try to focus on your grades (I know it's very hard in that process) and I can't believe that person said "we get lonely sometimes". I was well shocked!! I find that hurtfull. And sometimes help does help but not always, as it didn't for me.

But we're in this together, I promise. Try to be more positive and try not to let negativity get to you, try to think "I'm concentrating on something that I'll need for the rest of my life." Because it's not always too late to think about it afterwards.

I'm here if you need me. Just PM Me.

Thanks, I'll be here for you too. The person who said it to me self harms and has struggled with eating problems, but I don't quite get it, it was almost like she was looking down on my problem as being less than hers. :/
What you say makes sense, I'm off to revise. Providing I keep that mind set for the next 3 months, I'm away!
Thanks so much, you have no idea how good it is for me to finally find someone who knows what I'm on about. I'm away for a week now, but after that. I'm back for aggges!
   
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Re: Loneliness. Persistently feeling detatched from others. - April 6th 2010, 12:58 PM

Quote:
I've said that there are many reasons for feeling alone, but perhaps there is really only one cause. Loneliness sets in when we cannot - for whatever reason - share our thoughts and feelings with someone whom we trust, and who we know will care. Care enough to listen to what we are saying, even if he or she is busy. Care enough to try to understand what we feel and why. Care enough to empathise rather than merely offer sympathy or condolence.'
This pretty much explains me... I isolate myself because I just can't seem to express how I feel, and I feel a lot. And once I finally do speak, no one comforts me, they say "don't think that way" or I feel like I am burdening them. I really do understand this. This goes for both of you... if you need someone to talk to, (thats going through the same stuff) that really wants to listen (which I do because I understand so well) I am here and you can PM me. Please don't hesitate. I just feel glad that I am not alone. I often feel flawed because of this, and it makes me very sad.


Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream. - A Beautiful Mind

I met Steven October 3rd, 2008. We've been practically inseperable ever since. ♥
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