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So weird - April 6th 2010, 08:08 PM

I'm sort of fat, not obese but definitley fat. I sweat a lot. It seems much worse than other fat people, I can't wear a white shirt. There was even a time in my life where I was a lot more in shape then I am now, still fat but I was just more actice, and even during that time I sweated like crazy. It doesn't help that I'm always horribly congested or my nose is running constantly. Fluids are just coming from everywhere.

I can't find a shirt that I feel comfortable in. Not physically, but mentally. Baggy shirts, tight shirts, something in the middle, it doesn't matter. I think it's because of the weird shape of my fat, because somehow even though other fat people might not look good they still manage to look normal.

I have acne. It's not as bad as it used to be now that I have accutane, but my face just still looks weird in some way I can't describe. Everything about it... Even my hair. I don't know why my hair would look weird, this haircut looks normal on anyone else, but not on me. My facial features just seem weird. I think my eyebrows are too thick, but I don't want to cut them because I doubt I'll do a good job and I'll look even weirder.

Whenever I talk it's awkward. I don't control the volume of my voice well at all. If I'm enthusiastic about something I talk really loud without even realizing it until I embarass myself. If I don't talk too loud, I talk too low. People keep asking me "What? Speak up." and I don't have the best hearing so I always have to ask other people to repeat themselves. It couldn't be weirder to have a conversation with me.

What is wrong with me?

I feel depressed a lot anyway but over the last few months I've been noticing just how weird I am. I can't believe I've even been walking around like this. I don't even want to go outside, ever.
   
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Re: So weird - April 6th 2010, 09:49 PM

Since you don't list your gender, from this post, I'll assume you're female. Sorry if I'm wrong. So, I'll answer this as if it's a girl chat.

Well, as far as the weight issue, perhaps you could get a friend to go shopping with you? One of those brutally honest friends, who will tell you if they hate the look of something.

"Heavier" people usually look best in like, something thats flowy, but feminine. For example, those shirts that fit around the chest, then have the ribbon, and flow at the bottom... You know what I mean? http://thetrendsetter.files.wordpres...elmagazine.jpg thats the best example I can find.

If you find your figure is weird, and you're not comfortable, maybe get a corset? Corsets can flatter pretty much any figure, they look good as a top, with other shirts, or can even go under other shirts.

And of course, if you're really uncomfortable with yourself, maybe do things to make yourself more confident. Like, for example, make it a goal to work out at least twice a week, or go on more walks, eat healthier, etc? Perhaps if you're living healthier, you'll feel better in body and mind.

As far as your issue with your face, go to a professional and get your eyebrows waxed. Seriously, they will help mold your brows to the best shape for your face. Same with a hairdresser and a new style. In fact, if you can afford to, treat yourself to a nice day. Get your hair done nice, coloured (if you choose to), eyebrows done, and maybe even have them do your make-up nice if they will. Then go shopping for some nice clothes, and if you look nice going through the mall, get some new stuff, you may feel a bit refreshed.

If you feel you sweat too much, try a Clinical Strength deodorant. I knew a girl who was actually skinny, but she'd sweat ALOT. She didn't stink or anything, but she just had alot of excess sweat. She switched to Clinical Strength deodorant, and things got much better for her.

And if your hearing is that bad that you have problems determining things like your volume and hearing others, perhaps scheduling a doctor's appointment may help. You may have something as simple as a build-up in the ears, either of wax or a fluid build-up. Either way, it'll only get worse, so the sooner you find out, the sooner you can get that resolved.

Sorry if any of this came off as offensive, I'm just thinking that doing various things to boost your self-esteem and make the most of what you have may help your overall confidence and mood.

Take care.
   
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