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RoseThorns Offline
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Don't know anymore... - April 7th 2010, 12:39 PM

I feel so alone... I'm pretty much invisible to everyone around me (I'm really quiet) and I feel depressed or something.

I want to just take some pills and end it. I don't care if my death would make sense to anyone where I seem happy to them.

I would go talk to someone... but I hate talking to people and I don't want to freak out my mom or anyone (again, because of where I seem happy on the outside) if the pills don't kill me.

I don't really know what to do anymore...

*Yeah.. I know it's kind of confusing...*

Last edited by RoseThorns; April 7th 2010 at 12:41 PM. Reason: wanted to let people know that its confusing.. idk.
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Re: Don't know anymore... - April 7th 2010, 01:13 PM

I understand everything your going through because I'm exactly the same way.
But the best thing I can think of is to tell your mom how your feeling. I'm pretty sure she will want to know whats going on in her daughters life and will want to help you.
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Re: Don't know anymore... - April 7th 2010, 11:13 PM

i went through that exact same thing.
my best friend ignored me, people kept making fun of me (even though it was just for fun.. but i took it as like they were actually making fun of me), i felt like no one even cared for me anymore.
i tried cutting myself, but it never happened.. i was always too scared to do it, and the one time i had courage.. the knife wasnt sharp enough.
i wanted to talk to a therapist, or my parents, anyone that could help me.. i was so close to going to my school counciler but i thought he would end up calling my parents..
well, to make a story short.
i told my best friend i didnt want to be friends with her, she cried, we got back to being friends again.. so i told her how i felt..
she cared about me, and she was afraid that i was going to do something to actually harm myself, so she told her mom, and her mom.. called my mom.
i get home from school one day, to find my mom home, crying.. because of me. me and my parents had a talk, about why i felt that way.. and it was kinda weird after that, my younger sister ended up telling me that my mom told her to keep an eye on me and make sure i didnt kill myself.
so, i ended up hating my best friend again, all i saw was red, all i could think was how could she betray me like that!? so i made a new best friend.
and honestly, that new best friend.. probably saved my life.
she stopped me from swallowing pills, and getting those suicidal thoughts out of my mind. & made me truely happy.
and aside from her, i kept telling myself that everything was going to be okay. not matter how bad things got.. i still had to keep thinking that.

the best thing is for you to tell your mom, she cares for you, and loves you no matter what. but if you're afraid to tell your mom (like i was..), then tell someone that you can trust, someone that will support you, and will stop you from taking the pills.

if you need someone to talk to, im here for you, i understand what your going through, and if i dont.. ill be there just to listen.
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Re: Don't know anymore... - April 9th 2010, 04:38 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry that you are struggling so much right now, it seems as though you are going through a very difficult period of time. I'd like you to know that you are not alone. Many people have suffered from similar experiences and got through them, becoming a much happier person.

I really do think that it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone right now, even if it is hard for you. It is certainly worthwhile for you to talk to someone - recovery is possible. If you find it too hard to talk, you could consider writing a letter to someone - that's often easier for a lot of people.

You can get through this, stay strong.
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: Don't know anymore... - April 10th 2010, 02:57 AM

Hey there. How are you doing as you read this ? I hope you are doing better.

So let me see, we have a common ground. Sometimes I just hate being around people and prefer solitude. But I am also like you in that once I felt very lonely. But I realized something, I felt lonely but I hated being around people, so something was wrong and those 2 negatives weren't helping. So i give advice now, don't hate talking to people but rather focus on talking to people you see are good people. So that you won't be lonely.

I tell you the truth, having friends is a gift because you get to experience something unique. And I mean true friends, not acquaintances. But how will you ever experience the joy you seek to help you see the joy in life if you hate talking to people ? You won't. So talk to people, don't close yourself. I am an introvert and I spend a lot of time by myself but I spend sometime with other people, because it is important for all human beings.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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