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ni93 Offline
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Unhappy Colleges - AUS - April 11th 2010, 01:10 PM

FUCK, I typed out literally my fucking things went to submit and apparently i wasn't logged in so i didn't get to post it.

Okay so basically i'll tell it maybe shorter.

Sorry if this is in the wrong thread, but this has been on my mind for so long and I dont know how to get it out.

My good mates and I went to different high schools, we got split up which I was annoyed about and I did lose a bit of contact with them which I regret.

Also through sport I met a lot of other mates, who are my good mates who also went to that school, looking back after leaving high school seeing their year book I wish I went there, but I still don't regret going to my high school.

Basically going to college was going to be the big reunion and during the holidays I was so fucking excitied to see them every again and have some fun, while giving and getting assistance with work as we said to help each other.

Through the holidays we discussed and decided to change colleges from the one we were currently enrolled in, this college was more laid back, no uniform, no attendance on campus during frees, laid back atmosphere with the seriousness still of learning. The one were enrolled at had uniform, attendance during frees, no free line, and we had to study religion.

Everyone but me, had agreement from their parents to change and so they did, unfortunatelly my parents said no, its too late and wanted me to do my best, which this school was probably stricter.

I told my mates it was all good, I was going, but told them later that I actually didn't, but didn't want to ruin everything for them as we were more excited going to the new college.

So I started at this new school, I thought it wouldn't be too bad, I'm not a stupid kid, I don't get into trouble at all, nor do I usually get fussed up about these things. But I can't stand this college, the atmosphere of high school where everyone tries to fight for social status, its stupid. Having to take the class of Religion, which is more philosophical shit which I can't stand and is so different to other classes in the school. e.g my class is writing essays, others are doing meditation and cooking pancakes. we aren't getting to do that.

So a week in I hated it, my mum saw this and offered to change me, which I thought was a bit of a joke so I didn't take it seriously. But when I honestly wasn't looking good she told me I could, but when I sort of screw my mum around with decisions she gets into bad moods, doesn't talk to anyone, basically goes into angry moods and I hate it, I can't stand that sort of conflict.

My mum organised an interview for me to change, but when it came to the day, there were so many fucking things on my minds I just couldn't do it, and missed it. BIGGEST REGRET EVER.

I desperated want to change my classes and school, to be with the support and friends, trust me I'm not just changing for my friends but for the education that it actually offers, while my mates tell me its a ball of fun but is serious, too.

I want to change, but I don't know how to tell my Mum, I hate the moods she will go into and yelling, and I'm basically going to get the answer know from my mum and dad.

I think about this subject all the time, I hate it, sometimes i contemplate suicide, punching the shit out of everything, and something i don't do a lot which is, cry. I don't know if I should talk to someone professionally, I just don't know what to do.


Sorry for this, I just don't know what to do and I need to get it out of my mind. Sorry if in wrong thread, not making sense, getting up because I can't sleep about it to write it.

Thanks in advanced.
   
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Re: College - verge of depression - April 11th 2010, 06:55 PM

I was in a similar situation myself. I attended a religious school that I despised but agreed to attend due to fear and confusion. I had the opportunity to leave in January had I sorted a few issues out beforehand. I regret staying so badly. I stayed for my mom though. I knew how important it was for her that I stayed. But I would say that its your life, its your happiness. Perhaps she will refuse to understand your need to leave but don't sacrifice your happiness staying somewhere that you don't want to be. It will only feel like lost time in the future.
   
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