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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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RetroFresh Offline
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Name: Patrick
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...Help? - April 13th 2010, 12:02 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

What is going on with me...... I had episodes of depression since i became aware I'm alive. But this time it is looong and has really hit me hard, harder then ever. At my worst times i can't function, I want to but i can't. I hope someone will understand what I'm talking about. Then sometimes I'm completely numb and everything seems completely ...worthless. Sometimes i think that nothing is better then anything.I feel that way a lot lately. The saying"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" means nothing to me, it is as worthless as any other..thing. I know I'm wrong, but for how long will I know!? Anxiety has really hit me hard in the past couple of weeks.. I try to avoid any stress at all costs, but sometimes it has to be done, and then I perform really badly at whatever it is, and then it gets even worse. I used to be really creative, ambitious, social.. now I can't work around people, don't even want to go to college. Completely lost interest in all hobbies I had.. I just don't see a point in anything. My brain doesn't work, my creative part is completely gone. I am a walking dead, empty person.
I feel nothing no more, or everything is threatening(the future, risks...)
Nobody knows about my situation. I have a couple of good friends, fine family.. But they just don't get this kind of things, Typical "blind" people. The counselor is just a cold gouverment tool who should be fired. The doctor is a cvnt, useless.. I don't think that talk can help me at all, I don't know what can.. Time won't.

I really don't know what to say any more. I'll just leave this here.





"Wondering, wonder, wonderer
You're searching for what, what is to search
You're longing and looking once again for a home
Angery, anger and agony
The pain is pain, pain is to be
The remedy is on its way it will relieve

Been through the fire and been through the rain
Called the wonderer and yet have no name
If I were you won't you want me or is in my head.
Or is it in my head
Or is it in my head"

Vernon - Wonderer

Last edited by RetroFresh; April 13th 2010 at 12:21 AM.
   
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tiffemgee90 Offline
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Re: ...Help? - April 13th 2010, 11:05 AM

You should go to a psychologist. Someone who is educated in this typr of thing will be the best for you. It sucks feeling like this, I know. And it is hard to get professional help but once you do things will get better.
   
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