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adelina.rose Offline
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moving on - April 20th 2010, 09:57 AM

how do you get over things that seem so life controlling at the time? eg. break ups, someone dies, you or someone you know gets cancer or something really bad, your parents break up, you or someone you know is being abused etc. all this shit in life.
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i_am_me_again Offline
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Re: moving on - April 20th 2010, 03:50 PM

Hi Adelina.

Sorry to hear what you are going through

Truth is you never get over any such events, you learn to live with them. Things get easier, and you get more in controll, but such events like these, well, they will never go, you just become able to cope with and get on with life.

What you are going through is a grieving process, people grieve differently, some people cry, some people hide it inside. Peoples grieving time can vary as well.

Iv had 3 situations in 6 months, so I know how you are feeling. My parents split, then my grandad passed, then my mum is moving out of the 'family home' because its been sold.

One way to help you cope, is berievement counselling. Its a type of therapy which talks about grieving and helps you stop the situation controlling you, very helpful.

Take Care


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Re: moving on - April 20th 2010, 08:07 PM

I think that you can not deal with every thing in life, at some point you are definitely gonna break down, cry.........do what ever u need to deal with ur grief.
but knowing that each one of those things actually make you stronger, knowing that those (or convincing ur self) who die r now in heaven /or simply wont be hurt any more/ , helps u work it out......... but eventually, u actually stop thinking about it..when all the shut happens and u suddenly find ur self stuck in all kinds of trouble a weird calm and 'quiet head' kicks into ur life........ u start acting by routine, without thinking, u do not realize that ur actually way much stronger until u get reminded that ur literally shut but u r amazingly putting it all together by some one else, u know.... when ur in trouble for so long it just becomes 'daily routine' and when u get in trouble a lot but not in a continuous way , it becomes cliche like a repeated episode...... and if u did not...... then ur never in enough trouble to worry about it....... in all cases, things fix them selves without u even attempting to ........and the only thing that could be really painful is trying to fight it and keep it all 'together', your sad then cry, mad then go and kick ur pillow........ things get screwed up, try to absorb the facts first, then slowly and patiently analyze the problem before speeding into jamming ur self with the 'i gotta fix it' obsession, act nice , neat , calm and natural.....and nodes will solve themselves also neat and calm.......
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Re: moving on - April 20th 2010, 09:56 PM

I know that with me, I cry when necessary. It is really the only thing that makes me feel better. I lost all of my friends a little over four months ago, and it sucks. It still does. I have new friends, but my old ones still kill me a little, even though I haven't spoken to any of them in 126 something days. I feel that talking about it helps - I always try not to because my family/friends think I obsess, but I feel so much better when I get to say what I'm feeling... I constantly repeat the same stories from months ago because telling them again reassures me why its a good thing that they're gone and they show me that its going to be okay. I think that talking about anything will just reinforce you and you will realize the bright side, even if it is rather dim.

Hang in there, if you ever want to talk, I'm here.
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Re: moving on - April 23rd 2010, 01:17 AM

Some of these things are tough to get over. Some of them are too damaging even to get through. But the one number 1 thing to do to get over them is to accept what happened and see if it can be solved. If not, then you just go on with life and give yourself time to heal, because sometimes time is the only cure while you go on with life.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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