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combatbunny Offline
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Unhappy I don't know how to help myself - April 25th 2010, 05:24 AM

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I need help.

I've been through a lot lately and I'm really hurting. I've struggled with depression and self harm for years. I broke up with my now ex-boyfriend almost 9 months ago but even after that he's still been very much in my life and very emotionally abusive, even though I've told him how much it hurts. Because of all that, my course work completely fell apart in the first semester of my last year of university and now I can't graduate. I have to make an appeal... that may or may not be approved for me to graduate. I saw a counselor for about 7 months but he was completely useless.

The worst thing that happened though... At the end of March, I found out I was pregnant and I just couldn't keep it. Not with my emotional state and our relationship, or lack thereof, and finances. The stupidest part is that in March we had sex ONCE, after a long time because I really didn't want to anymore but he always pressured me about that and wanting to get back together. So the pregnancy was terminated and it's completely killing me inside. I keep thinking, I gave up this baby because my life had fallen apart and I needed to get it back together and there was no way I could with another life as my responsibility... But now I just don't care and I don't feel like saving myself. I don't think I'm worth it. I've just lost the will to live.

Please help me. I really need some kind of support or advice or something. I want to be able to move on and feel better again... but I just keep sinking further and further and I don't know what to do...
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Re: I don't know how to help myself - April 25th 2010, 03:14 PM

Firstly, welcome to this forum.

Considering what your ex did to you I suggest filing a restraining order against him to start. You need him out of your life as he seems to be a major factor that is hurting you emotionally and making you feel the way you do.

You obviously need to spend time with a different counselor, one that actually will provide you with the emotional support that you need at the present time. Also this other counselor might provide you with professional evidence of your trauma which will help your appeal process.

What happened with the pregnancy was not your fault. Your ex took advantage of your emotional state. You did what you needed to do to protect your sanity and your lifestyle. Remember, you can always have another child later on, when you are ready.

I am sure that after this stressful mess is all said and done, things will start getting better for you. There is so much to keep living for. And you will keep living.
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combatbunny Offline
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Question Re: I don't know how to help myself - April 27th 2010, 08:17 AM

Thanks Flying True. I actually joined about 4 or 5 years ago but my account got messed up so I had to make a new one

I pretty much have stopped all contact with my ex but he still continues to call now and then and tell me he cares and wants to change and be friends and just some junk I don't believe.

To move on I try to avoid thinking about everything and it mostly helps me act normal for day to day kind of things. I just wonder if that's the right way to get over it. Avoiding and trying to forget. I'm afraid it'll come back to bite me later because I wouldn't have actually dealt with it.

Also, an attempt to recover and return to some kind of normalcy would mean I'd have to start talking to my friends again. I haven't talked to anyone, aside from my family who I live with, in over a month and they're kind of curious about what happened. I think my most concrete issue at the moment is explaining where I've been for all this time.

On one hand, I could tell the truth, but I don't want to be judged. And I feel like, the more people who know, the more real the problem feels and the harder it is to get past it. On the other hand, I could just tell them it was a rough time and leave it at that, but I'm so sick of all these secrets and pretending that everything's fine when reality is far from it. What do you think I should do?

Thanks in advance.
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Re: I don't know how to help myself - April 27th 2010, 11:16 AM


I've been there. I liked this girl very much. She was everything, she was my reason to live to wake uo everyday. And then she goes bi-polor on me.

It hurt soo much, she meant soo much to me. and now my grades have dropped alot. and now im in danger of failing (former honor roll student), now im in danger of failing because of this girl.

We need to just get on with our lives, and try our best to live a better life. I know its hard but we should try not to focus on love and instead of building the future we want. I hope that you can get your appeals. I didnt know you could that.. Maybe i try that too
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