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Readein Offline
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Unhappy Utterly Hopeless - April 28th 2010, 08:43 PM

I have so many problems that I could write a book on them but I'll tell you a few. My main problem is that I have back pain at 17. Once it starts it won't stop for hours on end. Had an x-ray and 3 MRIs done and they say I'm fine. Only thing that will take the pain away is my dads lortabs. I hated asking for them because of the way he'd look at me. He finally broke down and stopped giving them to me. He said he didn't believe my back pain and that I was a pill head. It's cool though I know he doesn't love me.

Another problem is that I am COMPLETELY hopeless when it comes to women. I just can't hold a conversation with them. My mind will go completely blank and no matter how much I try to calm down or be "smooth" it won't go away. So many girls have lost interest in me because I can't even open up to them. I try and try and try and try to do it but it's impossible.

I am really shy. So bad to the point I am scared to do even the simplest things. Great example is when I was in school I would not do work for half of class because I was too afraid to ask for a pencil. This went on until I dropped out in high school.

Another problem I have involves my penis. First of all it's.......small. The closest I have come to sex was just feeling around. But then the girl went and told everyone that I was small and since then I am afraid to even get close to anyone. Also when it's erect it will point straight up and touch my stomach and any attempt to move it causes extreme uncomfort. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WHEN I CAN'T EVEN MOVE IT DOWN.

I have a girl that I really like and she likes me but she won't for long. It's happened so many times. They like me but then they grow bored of me because I have nothing to offer in a relationship.

My dad keeps bitching at me to get a job. Don't get me wrong I would love to make money but I am deathly scared to get one. I have never done anything right. Even if I try my hardest I still can't get anything right. How am I supposed to get a job this way.

My memory is totally fucked beyond repair. I can't remember ANYTHING. I'm 17 and I only remember 3 of my birthdays. 2 of which were 15 and 16. How can I get a job when I can't remember anything. I can literally forget something that was told to me in 5 seconds no matter how hard I try.

I turn 18 in Oct. which means I can get my license. But I won't be able. I can't drive anything with a motor. 4-wheelers, golf carts, go carts, etc. I have all crashed withing 3 minutes of operating them.

That is not even HALF of my problems my question is: how can I make it through life like this? I have nothing to show for the 17 years I have been here. What should stop me from killing myself?
   
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Re: Utterly Hopeless - April 29th 2010, 12:08 AM

Well, with the many problem part, I can understand... i have alot of problems which doctors never seem to sort out and stuff, it sucks :/ people usually see past problems though if they dont... well its there loss.

The women thing, well you possibly havent found the right person yet, you'll know when you do.. it just comes naturally if you feel 100% comfortable, opening up should be easy .

The shyness, well i don't really know what to advise for that :/ just.. try and let loose, dont be frightened of what others think

For the male problem... have you seen a doc about it being painful if you try and move it? the fact its small.. well tbh if the girl REALLY loves you, it wont matter.

Getting a job, you'll manage it, jobs will work around your ability, as long as your not slacking off and being lazy, they'll take that into account.

Memory... have you seen a doc about that? it may be something worth checking...

Ahh learning to drive aint so bad... theres other transports :P


You'll find a way to make it through life things will get better, even if you don't think so now. You have your life to show, you've survived 17 years, thats enough to show ANYTHING that makes you happy will stop you, make a list of 'happy things' it works for me

i hope ive helped somehow...

feel free to pm me

<3
   
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Re: Utterly Hopeless - May 1st 2010, 09:55 AM

you know what? I can relate in a way. I feel like i have nothing to offer for the 19yrs i've been here..and i too was shy.(I did the pencil thing..lol).When i graduated i realized,I need to stop thinking so negative about myself...and i need to thing positive...I mean it is bad if someone things less of me and i think the same thing.You have to believe in yourself....You have to believe that you are interesting...you can maintain a relationship. You need to get can't out of your vocabulary.Its hard to break being shy...but try speaking to random people everyday and that should help you with that.I'm going to get my license in a month or so. I told myself i CAN'T DRIVE. Why would i agree with other people who have never seen me drive? Why would i listen to other peoples thoughts?Why do i care what other people think of me? Because i was self conscience!! You need to believe in yourself and work with your size. People called me small in the chest area..but you know what? I going to work with that.In a relationship size isn't everything...when that special person starts to love you..it won't even matter.Your dad also probably does love your or he wouldn't have given you a second thought. You can do something right..if you put your mind to it and believe.Remember to try to think postive...if you need anything else email me at hotpicks@mail.com
   
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Re: Utterly Hopeless - May 1st 2010, 03:06 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling hopeless right now. I'd encourage you not to let go of hope though, even if it is just the tiniest bit of hope, hold on to it, because things CAN get better for you.

It seems as though you feel like you have quite a few different problems, some physical and some mental. Understandably, the physical problems may further mental pain, which isn't good. I know that you say you've already had tests for certain problems, such as the issue with your back, but I would strongly encourage you to keep going back to your doctor and ask for help. You do not have to just let this go on. Perhaps talking to a physiotherapist could help you.

It's okay to be shy, a lot of people can, however, when it's affecting you in such a negative way, then it may be time to do something pro active about that. Talking to someone such as a counsellor, or even your regular doctor could help.

Hold on and take care.
   
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Re: Utterly Hopeless - May 3rd 2010, 05:48 PM

I'm done. I fucked it up with the only girl that makes me feel happy this weekend. First time I had seen her in months and all I did was sit there and say nothing. Fucking through with life. There is nothing that can help me with anything. I'm never going to change. My dad won't even say he loves me when I say it to him. I just want to die. I've waited my whole life to feel better and it's not happening.
   
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