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Buffie-92 Offline
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I think I'm done - April 29th 2010, 02:18 AM

I have been severely depressed and suicidal for many years now. I have thought about killing myself when I was mad or hopeless, just as a spur of the moment kind of thing I suppose. Over the last couple months, I have been getting worse and I have been contemplating suicide more and more. I know that it's what I want. I have lived and I just don't want to and can't in this world anymore. It isn't worth it to me. I don't want to live. I understand what I am leaving behind, and I want everyone of my friends and family members to know how sorry I am to have put them through this.

I don't get how when someone has a terminal illness, it's somehow "okay" for them to die. Because they "suffered for so long" and it's "what they wanted"? This world and this life have been unfair to me and I don't want it anymore.

I know that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" but consider this: getting therapy and help and support to make it through my problems to be happy would be a permanent solution too; it would just be taking the long way. If you were given the choice of taking the long, awful, painful way or the short and easy way, which would you choose if they both ended up with practically the same outcome? I want the shortcut.

I want it to go away right now... but since it can't, I will. And I don't see a problem with that.

but these are days we dream about
when the sunlight paints us gold
and this apartment could not be prettier
as we danced up there alone..

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Re: I think I'm done - April 29th 2010, 04:57 AM

Hi Bridget. I was exactly where you are two years ago, and I need to tell you, suicide is not the shortcut. I wanted it too...just like you...I thought it would make everything easier. I had friends that treated me like crap, a rough relationship with my parents, and I struggled in school. It wasn't until I decided that I couldn't let this define me anymore. I branched out joined clubs and started meeting new people. My life still isn't perfect, but I know there are much greater things in my future. Our struggles really make us stronger and I don't want you to give up on yourself.
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ARootlessTree Offline
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Re: I think I'm done - April 29th 2010, 05:11 AM

Don't think suicide is a cakewalk. It won't be like it is in movies, quick and painless. I've been hospitalized for attempted suicided. Trust me, Bridget. Don't do it. You don't want that on those you love. You can talk to me anytime

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Re: I think I'm done - April 29th 2010, 07:21 AM

Bridget, let me tell you something. You say suicide is what you want. Yes, it may be what you feel like you want, but you still have doubts. If you were really sure it was what you wanted, you wouldn't have posted here. By starting this thread, it shows that you still have some desire to live, which is promising.
I know suicide seems like a good solution, but, trust me, it's not. It's so much better to work through your problems, and live your life. Most people who attempt suicide don't actually want to die, and if they live through it they're glad they're still alive. So please, give life a chance. It might surprise you.

if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
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