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daddy-cheddar Offline
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Coming out of a long term relationship - April 30th 2010, 12:15 AM

I serriously feel down all the time, at times i feel i'm on the way out and i'm only 17! I broke up with my long term girlfriend not long ago after a string of arguments and later that day i broke down and let my heart out too her. She didn't give me a second chance even though she still "loved" me. Within a few days she is now on a suspected date (not just me that thinks it) with another guy and i can't even look at another girl in the same way as her. She updates her facebook status' saying that she loves me and she said that one day in the near future we could give it another go but she doesn't want to see me break down again. I dunno if thats just to test the water with the new guy and if it dont work she comes back to me. But anyways i feel so so down all the time (although mostly i cover it up well) and when i'm on my own i cant get her outa my head.
What do i do?

Thanks
   
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Re: Coming out of a long term relationship - April 30th 2010, 12:39 AM

I felt the same way a couple years ago about a girl I never even got together with. It literally consumed my life because I couldn't stop thinking of wanting to be with her. I held onto it for two years almost and it still hurts me sometimes, particularly because I am still quite lonely, and to date have never had a girlfriend despite really wanting one. The problem is that you may have shaken her confidence in your ability to be in a long-term relationship, and she probably felt the same way that you do right now. I honestly can not in good faith advise whether you should just try to stay with someone else or if you should just wait for her to come back, because this type of situation is pretty unpredictable. But hopefully things will work out for the best. Best wishes to you.
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Re: Coming out of a long term relationship - April 30th 2010, 04:13 AM

I think you just need to stay positive! Think okay so I made a mistake. What do I WANT to do now? Do I want to work things out and make it work OR do I want to say this isnt worth my time and take awhile to breath then go try to start a relation ship woth some one elts!
   
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Re: Coming out of a long term relationship - May 1st 2010, 04:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Life.Is.What.It.Is. View Post
I think you just need to stay positive! Think okay so I made a mistake. What do I WANT to do now? Do I want to work things out and make it work OR do I want to say this isnt worth my time and take awhile to breath then go try to start a relation ship woth some one elts!
I am in your same predicament. I know you don't want anyone else and you think of her all the time, but here's what I find works more or less to some extent:

  • dedicating yourself to your school work to get good grades
  • spending a lot of time with your friends going out places
  • having a lot of deep conversations centered around these convos
  • getting away from your life for a while, a short vacation if you can
  • find new girls who can keep your interest and make you laugh
  • let her have her space and try not to obsess or she'll be less likely to try with you again. sometimes, funny enough, space brings people closer.
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Re: Coming out of a long term relationship - May 6th 2010, 03:34 AM

This is so like my break up its scary. I just got out of a long term relationship, 2 1/2 years, and i feel so broken. 17 must be unlucky for us... me and my bf kept fighting, and then he started hanging out with this other girl, taking pics together, giving her pigging back rides... and i couldnt take it anymore. i told him how i felt, and he broke up with me for getting jealous. it turns out he had a crush on her, so he asked her out. Im confused cause he says he still loves me, but yet he also likes her? it is so frustrating. what u said she wrote on facebook is exactly what my bf said as well. u are doing the right thing by talking about it, it helps. hate to say it, but u should give up on her, i know its hard... trust me, but its right, u dont want to be where i am, i talk to him, and cry everynight... its so hard. u need to find something to help u forget her, a hooby or a sport, something. i dont know if i was any help, but im here if u need to talk, i am going through the same thing... good luck my friend
   
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Re: Coming out of a long term relationship - May 7th 2010, 01:45 AM

You accept it. For me i always get rejected and even when I like someone, I want them to be happy even when its not with me, even though that is painful. But you just have to simply let it go and go on with life. Its never easy, but with time if you have accepted what has happened, it will get easier, much easier.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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