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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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RandomEmo Offline
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How can I help her if she won't talk? - May 5th 2010, 09:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have a friend who is...pretty suicidal just now.
I think she just had a really hard time with family and personal problems lately and she's just not interested in trying to get any better with anything anymore.
She's just given up, even when I talk to her it's like she's just this empty shell, like a zombie.
She's just...not my best friend anymore, she's like a shadow of what she was.
It scares me.
I don't live near her anymore, and I know there's no one around her she can really talk to, she's talked to me about her friends at school. They don't understand, most of them are too self absorbed to care.
She already tried to kill herself a while ago and I'm so scared she'll try again because she just bottles everything up. She won't listen to me anymore. She won't listen to anyone. She doesn't TALK about things because while I was gone for a while, she just lost trust in everyone she cared about. She won't talk to anybody.
She's supposed to be seeing her doctor soon, but she's worried that if she admits to being actively suicidal, the doctor will tell her parents or hospitalize her.
How am I supposed to help her when she won't talk to anyone about this?
I don't understand why she can't talk to me, I know I wasn't there when the people she loved most basically let her down and left her to die, but she insists on not trusting me any less. She just...never wants to talk about it. And everyone else just believes her when she says she's fine.
I'm sorry for the length, I just really need some advice on what to do with her.
I need to be able to do something before she tries to kill herself again, because it might work this time

~ Kayla


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We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless, we don't get to choose all the endings but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers, bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.
Jamie Tworkowski.
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Re: How can I help her if she won't talk? - May 6th 2010, 01:56 AM

I know that you want to be a good friend and this may anger your friend a little, but if she is seriously considering killing herself then you need to tell her parents or another adult if she doesn't herself... I know that she may not like it but it is for her own good, qand one day she will thank you. Hang in there, I know you are in a tough spot.
   
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Alyak Offline
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Re: How can I help her if she won't talk? - May 6th 2010, 02:54 AM

hey, ya i completely understand what ur going through. She sounds like me and my ex combined. my bf is suicidal, and has tried to kill himself before. She really just needs to know that people care about her and dont want her to die. she needs a reality check! I myself am becoming suicidal, but not really, i feel the need to hurt myself, but am trying to keep sane. I am shy and get uncomfortable talking about my feelings as well. i keep everything bottled up because i dont want to burden people with my life when they have their own to take care of. try to let her know that u are there for her, and maybe dont talk directly, let her write it down, if thats the problem. try to keep her happy, and just listen to her, and gain her trust back. sorry if i wasnt very helpful, good luck, hopefully everything works out.
PS i like ur name lol Kayla's rule!!
   
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Re: How can I help her if she won't talk? - May 6th 2010, 08:55 PM

I honestly wish I had a friend that cares as much for me as you do for her.
It will get really difficult, but please don't give up on her. I've suffered with depression for years but, it isn't until the past year that I've wanted to talk to someone, and everyone gave up on me or I drove them away. Now I'm probably in the worst situation I've ever been in.. and have never felt so lonely in my whole life.

You sound like such a lovely person. Reassure her about you being there, don't let her forget it, although she may get angry. Doctors can't tell her parents, she needs to know that. I told my doctor I was actively suicidal and they didn't tell anyone. Tell her she has nothing to loose if she sees a doctor. She can accept help they may offer her, or choose not too. But they can't do anything without her permission.

If she does get suicidal, or is ready to commit suicide, please tell someone! I know how difficult it is, but you won't be betraying her in any way, you will be helping her.

Sorry, I know I'm rambling and actually saying very little. I need sleep.
I hope things improve for both of you. You're being so thoughtful to her. Great job
   
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: How can I help her if she won't talk? - May 7th 2010, 12:01 AM

Well, do you live a few hours from her or a very very very long way away from her ?

I went through this. Sometimes when we give up, you just ose all sense of everything and you just actually break. Even handling something so simple becomes one very unimportant thing to do because you just grow tired of living. So talking even loses its power because even the strength to talk just isn't there is a sense.

So if you live a few hours from her, and if you can and willing, invite her over to your place so that you can sit together. Cause trust me, just having someone there who just sits next to you really helps alot.

If you live very very very very far, could you possibly set up a skype connection so that you can at least see her ?


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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