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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lu82 Offline
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Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 03:00 AM

I was wondering why all of us here are depresssed?
Me for instance when i was a kid I had really low self-esteem thinking i was ugly etc etc because kids used to make fun of me for everything, and i was really shy and quite so that made it even worse.Now that im older i still have days when i feel self-concious and ugly,and feel really lonely and im not doing what i would like to do in my life and i feel like im getting old and not going anywhere.

what about you guys why do you have depression?



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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 03:48 AM

I think for me it's partially hereditary. A lot of other people in my family have depression as well. The other part, I think, stems from the abuse I experienced from my parents when I was really young as well as the emotional/physical/sexual abuse I received from my 13 year old neighbor when I was 8. I was bullied in elementary and middle school, too.

There are a lot of different factors for me.
   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 04:22 AM

For me, there's not one main cause for my depression. Instead, there's a collection of things that contributes to it. I don't think any certain situation creates depression; it triggers it. Depression is a part of me, one that can remain controlled but that I know is there no matter what I do. So to choose one main cause for a part of me isn't easy.

I always find myself wishing that I did have a main cause, though, simply so I knew that depression really wasn't a part of me.





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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 04:53 AM

For me it's just been life experiences that I have had... Certain things trigger it big time, like a big case of stress... the recent onset of this depression that i am fighting is because of university and everything... it's been t3 months and it's only getting worse
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 06:25 AM

It's been really difficult for me to identify the exact cause of my depression. All in all, I think it mainly comes down to past rejection and neglect influencing how I view the present social situations I'm involved in and my outlook on the future. I find it very hard to trust people I'm not close to, and being around these people causes me to act defensively without even realizing it most of the time.

Perfectionism definitely comes to mind as well, especially regarding my body/self image. I'm obsessively drawn to mirrors and I tend to lose a significant amount of confidence if I don't like what I see "at the moment."

Then there's paranoia/hypochondria. When I was diagnosed with diabetes, it was a complete surprise...a major WTF moment. Ever since, I'm always catastrophizing, thinking I have dementia, a brain tumor, etc...Which of course was compounded by my reactions to the SSRI's I've been on. It's really hard to explain, but I just felt like I was literally losing my mind on Prozac, like my brain would someday just "shut down." My memory became disrupted too, which made it easier to sink into negativity and anger.



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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 10:29 AM

I was bullied quite badly as a kid. Apart from that its just been a lot of different situations building up on eachother. Like a loss in the family and there being a phase where I didnt have any friends and then having a lot of personal problems like not being ok with myself and having the feeling to be stuck in life.
Apart from that Im pretty sure it runs in our family, but it just not being recognised.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 11:24 AM

Ive thought about where depression comes from a lot. It could be bullying, someone dying, or just generally because of loads of small things around you. Doesn't seem to be any pattern to it, especially that it varies for different people. But I think it's down to how much control someone feels they have over their own life. Its a bit hard to explain... I can try though, simply.

If ur in control, making your own choices on what you want to eat, where you want to work, what you want to do in ur spare time... you'r bound to feel much better than feeling like a vegetable achieving nothing sitting watching TV and having someone whipe your mouth and ass for you after meals.

If ur getting bullied, pushed and pulled, just doing whatever it is that's expected from you... but never what you really want to do (that could be anything), or if something is happening like someone close has cancer and there isn't much you can do to prevent the inevitable... then you feel like your out of control.

When I think of it I find it really applies to a lot of different situations.


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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 11:48 AM

Mine is triggered by a lot of things, but mainly it stems from family issues. I was abused as a child by my step-dad and have current abuse from my mum...there are lots of aspects to it!


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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 8th 2010, 01:08 PM

I can't really pin point and put the blame on any one thing. There's a large history of depression in my immediate family. I think it's also just a collection of school problems, bullying, home life etc. Lots of things, really.
   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 9th 2010, 03:49 AM

I usually have no confidence in myself, I can be too senstive and I have a low self esteem. I guess that explains it.



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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 9th 2010, 03:13 PM

my depression comes from a lot of things. but i think the main cause is that i just feel forgotten all the time. i've always been alone and never made much of an impact on anyone. sometimes, i think about why i'm here, and i realize that i can't come up with a single answer.
   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 9th 2010, 06:36 PM

I really really don't know. I think I may have been born with it; I get the feeling that I couldn't have avoided it no matter how perfect my life was. I think it might be partly hereditary ~ I know my mum's father had it. Nothing especially traumatising happened to me when I was a baby or when I was very young. I know that for a while I blamed it on a death that occurred when I was thirteen, but during counselling I realised it had really started when I was about eleven, at the onset of puberty.
So I really don't know. :/


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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 9th 2010, 06:58 PM

I was depressed because my parents have depression so I think that's why :/ It's also due to low self-esteem, low-confidence and bullying in high-school. I used to think though that no matter how perfect my life would be I would still be depressed. So, it's probably mostly due to it being hereditary.


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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 10th 2010, 01:32 AM

I didnt know Depression could be hereditary, my mom had it and my uncle commited suicide, then that could be another reason why i feel like this.



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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 10th 2010, 02:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lu82 View Post
I didnt know Depression could be hereditary, my mom had it and my uncle commited suicide, then that could be another reason why i feel like this.
Well Depression, along with other mental illnesses definitely CAN be hereditary. In fact, if you have mental illness in your family, your chances of a traumatic incident causing mental illness increases.
   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 10th 2010, 02:57 AM

I dont really know.

I mean I've got low self esteem and its heriditary for me as well. I guess that could be the reason.


   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 10th 2010, 03:15 AM

molested, best friend died, uncle died, cousin died, disconnected with everyone


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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 10th 2010, 04:00 AM

I think my own depression can be traced back to a number of sources. I think that when you're depressed, your perception is skewed in such a way that things that aren't so bad seem that much worse...

My initial depression came from my home life. I never felt "good enough" for my parents. I tried to make them proud of me. I was always trying to show off, somehow get their attention. I always liked to draw- I drew in my free time, when I had friends over, during lunchtime or snacktime at school- and I would show my parents only my best pictures. Once I even traced a giraffe in an attempt to really impress my mom- of course she recognized the giraffe from the picture book, and blarghh. I encouraged them to stick my pictures up on the fridge (once I found out that that's what people do. lol). They didn't understand the point of it (Immigrant Parent Syndrome) but I thought it had to do with them not being proud of my work rather than them honestly not knowing the significance of hanging up a crudely drawn smiling tiger on the refrigerator.

To be honest, I don't think they've ever been proud of me.

I've always been the problem child - even though I have never gotten in trouble at school, with the law, or anything like that, I could tell I was always giving them trouble somehow. They always (and still) would compare me to my sister. "Why can't you be like her?" Naturally I rebelled. I think that was really stupid of me. If I'd just tried to be like her, my parents might have liked me better. I just had to be all self-righteous and "You can't change me!" and "You can't fix me, I'm not broken" and every other Myspace-girl-who's-mad-at-the-world motto. It's what I did as a child too- my parents used to hit us a lot. I told them it was wrong, it's not fair. You could get arrested for it. My protesting got me nowhere- it got me really hopeless. I knew what was right and what was wrong, but my speaking up did not change anything. If anything I got hit harder for protesting. It made me so scared, endlessly hopeless.

Low self esteem can only worsen things.

In my relationships I let people walk all over me. I'm unconditionally loyal. I forgive people the moment they've done me wrong. I think any person in this world is greater/"worth" more than I am. I measure my self worth by how important I am to others- which is proving to be really emotionally tolling as I realize that I don't mean nearly as much to others as they do to me. I'm acutely aware of every one of my flaws. I'm usually in denial about my depression. I think my depression itself is the source of my depression- if that even makes sense/if that's possible lol. For the most part I am happy in my life but that's only because I tend to ignore most of my past feelings. My attitude now is sorta, "Ok so that sucked. Oh well. What's next?" I don't really address the source of my problems, I just sorta push it to the side to make room for things I feel are more important- the things and people that make me more happy. Sometimes that means pushing sad things- or people that evoke sadness- away.

I just have a lot on my mind.
   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 10th 2010, 12:12 PM

It's hard to say.. mhm. I have a really low self-esteem and not enough self-confidence and I suppose those pretty much determine how you react to certain situations and.. the rest follows.

Sometimes, I hate myself for being so gloomy all the time because I don't seem to have any reason to be.


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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 10th 2010, 12:36 PM

I think that my depression is mainly hereditary. I think that other factors, such as bullying and low self esteem would have contributed, as well as my health. I also believe that losing family members had a huge impact upon me.
   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 11th 2010, 01:51 AM

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Originally Posted by coveness View Post
It's hard to say.. mhm. I have a really low self-esteem and not enough self-confidence and I suppose those pretty much determine how you react to certain situations and.. the rest follows.

Sometimes, I hate myself for being so gloomy all the time because I don't seem to have any reason to be.
Pretty much this.

I don't really have any friends at school. In middle school, I tried making friends and they all backstabbed me for two years. Now I don't really trust anyone, school-wise. I'm just so self-conscious of myself, it's terrible.


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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 11th 2010, 02:30 AM

I'm not entirely sure - there's a lot of things that I think may have contributed to it, but we can never know for sure, can we?
I was sexually abused as a child
My parents were constantly fighting in front of me when I was younger which had a huge impact on me
my parents never had much time for me when I was a child
I was messed about a lot by my first real boyfriend (we were together 9 months, possibly some sexual abuse, definately emotional)
My family has a lot of hereditory health problems (polycystic kidney disease, high blood pressure, cancer etc), I have high blood pressure and have to go for a scan soon to see if i have polycystic kidney disease.
I have "daddy" issues
I have never felt good enough

Those are some of the main things that I believe have triggered my depression, though I can't be sure.
   
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Re: Why are you depressed? - May 11th 2010, 02:43 AM

I have a lot of things that all hurt the same, so I really can't find a direct cause. That seems to be pretty common, apparently.


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