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annaa. (: Offline
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Name: Anna,
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 86
Join Date: October 28th 2009

Unhappy i cant remember the last time i was truely happy. - May 12th 2010, 05:38 PM

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the title says it basically.
i just really cant remember.
back in primary school, i had a hard time aswell. even the teachers were against me. so i never went back to visit when i went to secondary school.
i was born about 5 weeks early, and had pneumonia (however you spell it.) so i was in hospital for the first 2 weeks of my life, my mum said thats its likely i have a hard time coping when im seperated from something or someone. obviously i dont remember now, but she also said that i never wanted to go into school without her, in my first few years. it came to about year 3 (im in england btw,) and, i hadnt wanted to come into school a few times. i remember now, one time, the head teacher and my mum had to drag me in. it actually makes me cry every time i think about it. i remember it like it was yesterday. a few years later, year 6. i didnt invite this girl to my birthday party one time, and it all kicked off from there. all this over something so stupid. there used to be lots of gatherings, and the head teacher would talk to us (all the girls in my year) about what was happening, but she would tell everyone that the good things to do were what the other girl did. but its obvious she was wrong. she told everyone lies about me, and got everyone to be her friend. one day, i asked a girl to stay with me, since i had no one else. her reply was 'sorry, i said i would play with charlotte today, maybe another day?' (charlottes the other girl.) that day never came. i tried to talk to charlotte one day, a teacher found out and sent us to the head of year, turns out, i was in the 'wrong' again.
anyway, ive had a few relationships here and there, none of them really trusted me in the end tbh. but this one boy, he was perfect. sweet, good looking, that kinda stuff. but then he used me, i slept round his with some other people. we stayed up till 4am, just us two, just talking, he kissed me etc, few days later, hes going out with this other girl.
he SH'ed, thats when i started. i wanted to understand. it hadnt become an addiction really, and never has for me.
now, i have a councellor, everyone thinks i have an eating disorder, every day its like 'your too thin' its like, go away.
i also have a back brace for scoliosis. very hard for me. its horrible.

i know ive written alot, i needed to get it out.
i dont know what to do. :/

"The only person standing in your way is you."
-Black Swan
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happy, remember, time, truely

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