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empty black hole - May 18th 2010, 03:23 AM

iv never gave up. iv always had a plan, a next step on what to do. my thoughts are always racing. even when i attempted suicide mulity times, my mind was still racing. and i wouldnt let myself give up. but yesterday i was kicked out of the only place left i had to go. my mother is staying place to place. and it seems the only option i have now is homeless shelter= foster care. im almost 16. i dont feel angry, or hate, or sadness. im just empty. like a black hole. no thoughts, just a big idc. i can feel my emotion bubbling up wanting to scream out, but i cant open my mouth and let it out. i guess iv spent so long shoving everything down that its burried to deep inside. i just keep thinking it would be easier to kill myself. i know this time i mean it. this time suicide seems to be my last and only resort. im so lost. can anyone give me adivce?
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Re: empty black hole - May 18th 2010, 04:39 PM

Hey there,

Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time right now. But hang in there, suicide is not your only option, remember that! Even though you are used to keeping your emotions inside, it doesn't always have to be that way. The more emotions you talk about, the better you'll feel. I know how hard it is but you can start by just writing in a journal. Then, as you get used to that, try to start sharing one or two feelings with a friend. Getting used to being aware of your emotions and feelings will help you figure out how to deal with them. But you have to believe in yourself. It's all about your mind set. If you focus you're mind on working hard to practice sharing your feelings, you will get there. However, if you doubt you can do it and don't even try, you won't get there. But I believe in you!

Have you thought about trying to get evaluated in a hospital? I know it's very scary at first but trust me, it's completely worth it in the end. Even if they don't admit you, they can help set up people to talk to where ever you are. Maybe you can talk to your mom about living with her. Or you can see if a friend will let you stay at their house until you can figure out where you'll live. Don't be afraid to reach out and try to seek out other options. And remember, no matter where you are going, you can get through this! I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. You aren't alone.

PM me if you need anything.
Stay strong,

Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
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