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Nutmeg Offline
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Name: Nutmeg
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I need help. - May 23rd 2010, 10:44 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

In the last two months I've been hit with a lot of problems. My GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) has gotten significantly worse, I'm currently making an attempt to get over anorexia, I self harm (I use sharp objects and scrape them across my skin roughly, but not usually enough to make me bleed), and I'm showing almost every symptom of severe depression.
Yes, clearly I know these are all problems. But I just can't stop (depression, self harm, GAD) or it's difficult to try to stop (anorexia). I've been going to a number of websites for help, but they all basically say the same thing. Maybe if I don't just give out the 'hard facts' but say would I'm going through as an individual, it'd be easier to make decessions and get through it. I don't know.
I'm lucky though--I have someone to talk to about all of this. We've become really close, and he's really supportive of me, particularly me trying to get over the anorexia, as that's the only thing I'm trying to get over as of this moment in time.
But even though I've had his support, last Tuesday (05-18-10) I tried to kill myself with the use of alchohol and perscription pills. There's just so much pain I'm going through, and I'm of no use to anyone, as far as I can tell. I'm worthless (even my parents tell me so). And although it would be nice to actually be alive, I feel like I've been dead inside all this time.
I want these feelings to stop. I know I'll try to take my life again at the next given opportunity. I need help.

Last edited by Nutmeg; May 23rd 2010 at 11:11 PM.
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WillO'Wisp Offline
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Re: I need help. - May 24th 2010, 12:27 AM

First off, I am very sorry to hear about all these things you are going through, but no matter how rough things get, there are people who care about you and want to help you and there's never a good enough reason to end your life.
It's awful that your parents tell you you're useless. You are not the useless one, they are, for saying such a thing to their own child. Can't you move out into a healthier enviorment, with a cousin or another family member or a friend? Try hanging out with friends more, go out more and try to have fun, do things you find enjoyable. Don't listen to your parents when they tell you these negative things like you're worthless, because you're not worthless at all.
As for anorexia, you could find a therapist or someone to help you with it. It's good you recently found someone you can talk to. The way you can stop self-harming, get rid of all the sharp objects around you, don't even think about doing it when you feel depressed. You're only hurting yourself by doing that. I've been self-harm free for over 3 years now, I never will give into it again, and if I can beat it believe me, you can too. You just have to try and believe in yourself, build yourself up and don't listen to anything negative anyone has to say.
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