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Ella.x Offline
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Will it ever get better? - May 24th 2010, 01:22 PM

Today I was released from the psychiatric hospital where I had been under observation for 72 hours after a suicide attempt. If anything, I feel worse now than I did before I tried to kill myself. I've spent the whole weekend lying in bed crying and they still let me out because for some reason they think I'm safe now. I need to know that I'm not gonna be like this forever. My anti-depressants aren't working. I'm running out of options. Does it get better?
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Re: Will it ever get better? - May 24th 2010, 06:42 PM

Oh love. I'm so sorry to hear that, and I wish I had a more convincing answer, but yes, yes yes, it gets better. It always gets better, please please believe me. I went through some hard times a few years ago, but now my life has completely turned round and things are gonig so much better and I have a much betetr perspective on things, and I appreicate it all so much more because I hung in there.
Sometimes it feels so easy to give up but when you hold on and stay strong you'll feel so much better afterwards for giving life a second chance. If you hang in there you're at least giving it a chance to get better, but if you give up there's no chance of it happening at all. You just have to stay strong and put up with it all, because you CAN, and things will always, always work out, please believe me.
Have you talked to your doctor about maybe changing your anti depressants?? And I'm not sure if you're getting counselling, but if you're not would you think about it?? I'm so sorry that I can't give any better help, but please please just stay strong, and always have hope. Things always pull through in the end.
Take care xxxxx

Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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Re: Will it ever get better? - May 24th 2010, 07:15 PM

Thankyou for the reply. I'm going to talk to my psychiatrist on wednesday about changing my meds, hopefully he'll be able to find something that works for me. I'm not seeing a counsellor at the moment, but I do see my CPN every couple of weeks. I suppose the good thing is if I've hit rock bottom, things can only get better from now on. It's so exhausting.
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Re: Will it ever get better? - May 24th 2010, 07:52 PM

I know that its not easy to believe right now but yes yes yes things do get better. I was in your position 4 years ago (wow i cant believe its been that long now....) and I did not believe that it could ever ever ever get better. I was convinced that my life was always going to revolve around my depression and suicidal thoughts. But for me when I finally hit my rock bottom (which surprisingly wasnt when people thought it was) things started to change because I finally wanted them to. Im not saying that you dont want them to change because no one wants to feel like this, but its like something changes inside you and its finally possible to change. I know for me, when I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals I felt like each time that things would finally change for me, like I was finally going to get better....and each time it didnt. It wasnt until the last time that I was in the hospital that I got mad because I wasnt being helped that I was able to change for myself....thats when I hit my rock bottom because everyone else had given up on me and that made me mad which I guess changed something inside of me.
Ok so my point is....yes things will get better, things will change. Please talk to your doctor and try different meds- I know thats its frustrating having to try different things and each time feeling like nothing is helping (I probably was on over 30 different meds over 2 years before something was found that works for me) but please keep trying because eventually something will click with you and things will get better. Just remember, sometimes you have to hit your rock bottom in order for things to get better, in order for you to really want it to change. But once you hit your bottom, your right....things can only get better from there and they will get better. Believe me, suicide and depression will not always run your life- yes some days you might have thoughts, but it wont be a constant thing anymore. It may be hard to believe right now, but honestly I am proof that it does happen.
If you need anything or want to talk please PM me.
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Re: Will it ever get better? - May 25th 2010, 07:07 PM

my advice on here is always:

I wonder if people did that.
why dont u tell your doctor that youre not feeling better?maybe then they will help you again.
tell your close people how you feel then.im sure they care.i would if it was one of my family members.
those solutions are useful if you feel kinda weak to solve this on yourself.if you think you can do it,1st try fighting this depression yourself.

im not sure what else to say. no one wants to suffer this deep depression.
anti depressives kill.then dont use them if they dont work.if its addictive drug u cnt go without,then im not sure what u can do about it.
maybe that medicine had something to do with your situation now.

I moved back while
my head was turned.

Upside down
closer to the end.

Afraid of the dark
within future times.

I'm drowning there,
my final chase.
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