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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
I'm Not Who You Think I Am
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Unhappy Im Scared.. - June 1st 2010, 03:20 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm feeling low.
In fact, low doesnt even cover it.. I feel like I'm barely scraping along the floor, just about holding my head above the water..
I'm suicidal.
I've been buying, and storing so much stuff recently, and I've got quite alot of everything I could possibly need; blades, rope, meds..
Like every senario I've thought about killing myself && made plans..
I'm spending so much time down by the railway tracks in my area,
just trying to get a feel for the place, so when the time comes, I
can just turn up and know which track and where to wait..
This is all so damn planned;
I've got a CPA on weds afternoon, and I'm scared I cant hold on till then..
I'm scared that even then it wont help, and I'll be left to deal with myself yet again..
This is it, this time.
The end;
I've decided I cant do this anymore, life, it hurts so god damn much, I've been self-harming, but its just not enough.
I dont know what to do anymore.
I need this way out.
I'm crying.
I feel like I'm completely breaking down, falling apart..
It was always gonna be like this;
I was obviously never meant to survive.

[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
  Send a message via MSN to xxCookiiexMonsterxx  
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arashkzadeh Offline
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Re: Im Scared.. - June 1st 2010, 03:59 AM

What is wrong... I can help you. I have been through a lot in my life and I know what it feels like.
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aemina Offline
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Re: Im Scared.. - June 1st 2010, 07:26 PM

If you read this please e mail me or message me I've had a lot of problem with suicide in the past year..
I know what its like someone whos made it through it all.
I can listen.. I can hear you.. I can help..
message me on here or email me

letting go isn't the answer you were given life and though life is hard you have to live it.. I've been in your shoes I was one day away from taking a bunch of pills. I got help from a really sweet girl I know.. she changed my life and I owe it to her to keep going. never think your alone... NEVER

Everything Happens For A Reason, The Hardest Part Is Figuring Out What That Reason Is
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.:Bibliophile:. Online
PM me anytime!

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Re: Im Scared.. - June 1st 2010, 07:37 PM

Hey there,

I am so sorry that you are struggling so much but please don't give up. You can make it through this pain. It won't be easy but it can happen.

You have CPA soon, yes? You are one day away from Wednesday. Hang on till then and then let them know what is going on. It might be hard but it will help.

Also, do your friends and family know what you are going through? If so open up and talk to them. Ask them to just be there for you. To help you through this. It can be so hard to reach out for help but it can be worth it in the end.

I know how hard and painful life can be at times but there are so many good things about life as well. Right now I know you probably cannot see it but if you give yourself time to heal you will see it. Don't give up on life just yet because good things are waiting.

What are some thing you like to do? Try to focus on those and do them so that you can make it to Wednesday and the CPA.

-Listen to music
-Talk to friends and family
-Go to a movie

Do anything and everything to get through to Wednesday because you deserve to live.

Lastly, when you go to your CPA be completely honest. Tell them how strong your suicidal thoughts are so that they can really get an idea of what you are dealing with and can really offer you help. In order to truly get help you have to be as honest as possible.

Please hang in there and if you need anything feel free to pm me.


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