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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Awesomesauce Offline
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Lightbulb Frustrated - June 7th 2010, 12:36 AM

Okay, yeah, I'm not going to kill myself. Whew! Glad we got that over with.

I've recognized that suicide is really a misguided "solution". It seems like a default answer, and one that simply isn't correct. So please don't try to lecture me there.

Still, I would die for a catch-all solution to my problems. (See what I did there?)

I'm in year 10 in high school, and I've failed a class or two. Not because I'm not proficient in those classes, mind you, but because throughout the year, I've never been able to motivate myself enough to do the work. Even now, I have the chance to complete a major project to shorten the time I'd have to go to summer school, but I'm blowing it off. Yeah, I know, I'm stupid.

Thing is, I -do- want to pursue a career in academia--psychology quite catches my interest. At the same time, there is a great part of me that is suspicious of the path upon which I'd like to embark. That part of me prevents me from putting any serious effort into anything. I guess I'm afraid of failure. And, ha! That fear of failure is causing me to fail.

So, you understand, I understand my situation quite well. I know exactly what I must do to climb out of the hole I'm in, but I can't muster the will to take action.

It's a vicious cycle of frustration!

I'm not even sure how people on an online forum can "help" me with this. Maybe I'm not looking for help. Maybe I'm looking to say that which elsewhere I could not. Qui sait?

Anyway, we now return you to your regularly scheduled advising.

"A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did."
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Eyes on Fire-Xx Offline
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Re: Frustrated - June 7th 2010, 01:34 AM

I have not solution for you, for i am pretty much in the same situation. only its not cause i dont have the motivation. im just lazy as hell. and im in grade 9. should i be studing for my finals tommarow? probly. am I? nah. best of luck to you tho.

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Re: Frustrated - June 7th 2010, 09:26 PM

I'm not really sure if this will help you, but find a way to deal with your frustration (in a healthy way). And by the way, you are not stupid.
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Re: Frustrated - June 8th 2010, 01:50 AM

Hey man, the fear of failing's hard to deal with especially if you feel like a lot is weighing over you. So I know how hard it can be. I also know how bad it feels to want something, to feel it just within reach and incapable of firmly grasping it because a part of you self-sabotages yourself. I don't know if you can beat it, I'm 22 and I still fall into the hole. My life's going great and I'm afraid of the fall, maybe part of the reason why I was afraid of failure. That and the notion that my Dad was right for leaving me... I'm messed up, but I staid strong - I fought - and right now I'm over at Warner Brothers.

Point is. If you let failure hold you back fully, you won't ever know. As much as the "what if" of the future stings - at least you can say you tried. It might be hard starting to think that way, but you can make it dude. You just have to believe in yourself and if you do that - everything you want will come your way. It did for me, it can for you too. Hang tight, it'll work out.

"Maybe I just like people. Maybe sexuality isn't one thing or the other. Maybe it's just something that's shifting and moving. I just know I'm not thinking man or woman."
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
MadPoet Offline
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Re: Frustrated - June 8th 2010, 02:45 AM

Hey. Welcome to TH.

Reading your post, I can really relate a lot. I'm currently in ninth grade, and one of my biggest problems is lack of motivation. I went to private school 4th-8th grade, and I'm actually ahead of most of the people in my grade are. I'm not saying I'm a genius or anything, but I'm capable of getting A's and B's. I am getting A's and B's, actually, but still am never motivated to do my work. I do school online, so my grades stay the same when I am not submitting work. But I was supposed to be finished with my work by now, and I still have a whole semester left in three classes. So if I'm not permitted to finish the rest of my work during the summer, I'm basically going to be held back. And I'm not stupid. And, I have goals. I want to be a writer. I even know what college I want to go to. So you'd think that all of this would be enough to motivate me to do my work. But nope.

I'm overweight, depressed, previously suicidal, but still hopeful that things will get better in the future. But I'm not willing to work towards anything. Maybe it's the depression, maybe it's just laziness. The medication I am on has been helping though, so obviously it has something to do with depression. The reason I'm telling you all of this is because I want you to know that I can relate, and that you're not alone. Maybe, if worse comes to worse, you should consider talking to a doctor about all of this. Lack of motivation can definitely be a symptom of depression, and it sounds to me like you've been struggling with depression in the past as well, because you speak of suicide.

Life is full of so many obstacles, and sometimes I can't help but wonder if the obstacles we complain about in life are really just ourselves. More often than not, we are the ones holding ourselves back. We are our own obstacles. If you feel you are suffering from depression, the only thing holding you back from recovering is yourself. You need to fight against yourself, and do what you know is right. Don't stand in your own way.

It's a hard battle, I know it all too well, but you can get through this. Keep those goals in mind, everyday.
Even though it might be difficult, they are reachable. I'm always here if you need to talk. Good luck.

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

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Re: Frustrated - June 14th 2010, 11:16 AM

If you are working hard and still you are not able to get the promotion and the person who is not working that hard gets it, this is the time when you get the frustration this is natural. You have to control your frustration as this is the only way you can get better control.
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