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thisiscourtney Offline
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Not looking forward to the future. - June 10th 2010, 08:08 PM

I've had depression before, so I feel like I should be able to recognize it when I see it, but now I'm just not sure what's wrong with me. I start college in 2 months, and whenever I think about it, which is a heck of a lot, I just cry. It's not because I'm scared to be alone, or I'll miss my parents, but I feel like I was made for something else. Don't get me wrong, I want to go to college so bad, but not this specific college. I only chose it because my parents wanted me to, my siblings have gone there, and I got a scholarship to any college in the state. I hate Florida, especially the small town where the university is located.

My sister tells me not to be selfish and that I'll like the college once I start, but the main thing that bugs me is that it would be giving in and living my life by someone else's standards. I feel like I should be challenging myself and teaching myself not to settle for less, because I've always lived in terms of other people's wants and needs: I wear hand-me-downs, I rarely ask for anything so that we can continue paying my sister's rent, and now this. I want to break free and I feel like this is the only thing holding me back.

But if you do suggest something along the lines of, "Give it a chance. You'll learn to like the college," then please tell me how to get over this wave of sadness.

Waitin' for my ruca.
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CoolBluAly Offline
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Re: Not looking forward to the future. - June 11th 2010, 04:02 AM

It sounds like you feel like someone else has made the choice for you. I thing to remember is; This is your life. If you don't want to go to this college, then transfer. It sounds like you only went to this college because your siblings had, your siblings are different than you and probably have different dreams and hopes and aspirations; Don't follow their path. You are your own person with your own aspirations, and dreams, and in able to chase these dreams you need to stand up and do what you need to do and go where you need to go for you.

You can't just not go to this college, but I'm going to tell you what you don't want to hear: Try it. Maybe it won't be that bad, and if it's not what your looking for, transfer. Work hard in this college and get good grades, then transfer to a college where you can reach your goals

Hope I helped! Pm me and tell me how it went

'If he wants a fight well now he's got one
And he ain't seen me crazy yet
He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
Don't that sound like a real man?
I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of
Gunpowder and lead'

-Miranda Lambert, Gunpowder and Lead

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Nina Twin Offline
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Re: Not looking forward to the future. - June 15th 2010, 06:59 PM

Firstly, I'm going to say that whatever makes you happy is not something that's another person's path cut for you. If this college turns out to make you happy, then that's a GOOD thing. Please, at least give it a chance for that purpose - try out a month and see if you do really enjoy it. I'm not saying you have to tolerate a whole year. If it ends up making you miserable after then or if you're still thinking about other colleges, you might want to transfer. There are lots of scholarships and grants available for students with financial need, so I would say any college is possible if you really want it.

Private message me anytime if you need a friend. =]

"Life should not be measured by how far we can fall, but how high we can climb."

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