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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dinosaur. Offline
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I wish I looked like someone else. - June 16th 2010, 09:33 AM

I'm ugly.
I'm too tall.
I'm not even skinny like i used to be.

i used to worry about people thinking i was ugly. now im sure of it. my friends will SOMETIMES tell me im pretty, but it doesnt make me feel better. i just think they're lying to make me feel better about myself. its been months since ive gotten any significant male attention, and i still havent hooked up with anyone at the age of fifteen. i get shit about it from some of the guys i know, and it really gets to me. i didnt eat for three days because i wanted to get a flat stomach again, just so SOMETHING about me was attractive. but my best friend talked me out of it. but now i feel fat again. i tell myself every day that im not gonna eat today, but i do anyway because i get hungry then i feel digusted with myself. ive got a bottle of vodka hidden in the corner of my room and when i feel bad ill spike my drinks just to have something else to think about. none of my friends know i feel this bad, except my best friend, and even she doesnt know how bad its getting. no one suspects anything, cause im always happy. i dont like making other people worry about me. oh, and on top of all this, my best friends really fucked up atm, and im seriously worried about her.

i just wish someone would tell me, honestly, not just trying to make me feel better, whether i was pretty or not. i wish i had someone to talk to.

sorry to complain, i just had to get this off my chest.
   
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Re: I wish I looked like someone else. - June 17th 2010, 12:19 AM

I'd like to start off by saying that I'm 100% sure you're not NEARLY as ugly as you think you are. If you'd like to prove me wrong, you're more than welcome to try. I still don't think I'm going to believe you.

I took courses in a beauty school, and if you really would like some help I'd be willing to do whatever it is I can to make you start feeling better about yourself, whether it's giving you make-up advice, clothing advice or just reminding you on a daily basis that you ARE pretty and to help make you see that too.

Did you say you were 15? Don't worry about boys yet. At this age they're assholes, trust me. I'm not really much older than you, so I know how they are. they can be pretty stupid. try to not let that bother you. I know girls who are 18 and GORGEOUS in every sense of the word [perfect shiny hair, physically fit, dresses nicely, great smile ect] and STILL haven't gotten their first kisses. some haven't even gone on dates. I wouldn't worry about that yet. It'll happen when you're ready.

What worries me is your drinking and how you see yourself. Giving yourself some self-esteem is hard to do, and it's a lot of work. Try ignoring some of the pictures from when you were younger and "prettier". Instead, look in the mirror and find whats pretty about you NOW. And just look at yourself and find reasons as to why you are beautiful, both inside AND out. If finding reasons on the outside is hard, start from the inside, and eventually you'll find outwardly reasons as to why you're beautiful. What I can tell you right off the bat, though, is that you're smart, and obviously you're strong enough to admit when you need help, or I wouldn't be writing you right now. Remember that! and please, message me. I'd love to be able to talk to you more!
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Re: I wish I looked like someone else. - June 17th 2010, 11:28 AM

thanks for the reply, i messaged you.
   
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Re: I wish I looked like someone else. - June 17th 2010, 10:07 PM

most guys are looking for women with good looks, not caring for the rest. Take a look at how many of those relationships accually work out.

There are surely guys out there that are not so desperate to find a woman with good looks, and vice versa.

You are only 15 yrs old give yourself some time. My life was so crazy when going from 12 to 18 haha. At 12 I was a good kid, hitting 14-15 I was sagging my clothes, dropped out of school,(wich I regret massivley now) smoked and more.
Now I am 18, wear proper clothing, have a job and am going to college In about 2 months, then enrolling Into ROTC and going to shoot for the airforce(click signature link) Set a goal for yourself that will make you feal special.

After I join the airforce I want to find a kid that Is roughly 15-16 yrs old and going through the same thing I am going through right now and help him/her both financially,mentally, and physically. and that makes me feal good that I am wanting to help someone that is going through what I am.

I feal no one Is here for me, to help me do what Ive dreamed of doing since as long as I can remember, I've had no help really.


I'm In Love With Love!
   
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Re: I wish I looked like someone else. - June 18th 2010, 08:30 AM

I feel the exact same as you. :/
   
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Smile Re: I wish I looked like someone else. - June 18th 2010, 12:06 PM

Hey,

I think the help that Kitty has extended towards you is just amazing. Why don't you take some help from Kitty to make yourself look better. I don't think you are ugly at all but since you think so, let's just leave it there. So take some advice from Kitty and then when you are all done to go, you must be able to look in the mirror and say, "I don't look too bad. In fact, I look good!" You can't be the most beautiful or anything but what's important in feeling good about yourself. So dress so that you feel good about the way you look, then you won't care about anything else.

Kavitha
   
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Re: I wish I looked like someone else. - June 18th 2010, 02:15 PM

At 15 your body is still transitioning... I'm going on 19 years old and trust me, your teen years are to enjoy and focus on having fun. Don't think about boys... and the fact that they are giving you a hard time just shows how immature they are.
I also bet that you're not ugly. When I was younger the boys called me ugly and I was one of the last to get a boyfriend, but I hit puberty first at age 9 so I felt so awkwurd being ahead of everybody. I got an eating disorder partly cuz my body was so developed and all the boys my age wanted the skinny girls...ugh so i lost a bunch of weight to look like them, now though, I am one of the most saught after girls cuz I'm so nice, and pretty, and not slutty, and curvy, and modest... try to focus on the beauty of your character and the good features of your body, and by the time you hit 18, lots of your peers will appriciate it, even envy it. And instead of not eating... just try to eat healthily and do some workouts. Those always make me feel more confident and happy Seriously... ignore the stupid boys.


Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream. - A Beautiful Mind

I met Steven October 3rd, 2008. We've been practically inseperable ever since. ♥
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