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Disclosure. Offline
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Question What the hells wrong with me? - June 20th 2010, 09:48 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

OK, so roughly this time last year I was diagnosed with OCD and Depression. I was mostly being treated for OCD because that was my major focus and concern. I've stopped seeeing my councillor and psycharist because my symptoms of having OCD aren't with me anymore and my OCD thoughts aren't inside my head.
But now the depression has become the main source in which is dragging me down. Last week I had the best week. On Monday it was a public holiday so I didn't have to go to school, on Tuesday my friend dropped me home from school because I was late home because of this drama thing and he made me heaps early so I could work on my English speech, then Thursday, I saw the most hottest guy in this shop before work and I found out his name so I added him on Facebook...yeah that's a little weird lol. I got my stretcher before work and it actually fit on Thursday as well and Friday I showed my teacher part of my English speech and she said I was on the right track, I just needed to do some touching up and write more and I'll be fine. Saturday I just relaxed and worked on my speech with finally being able to finish it.
But none of this made a difference to how I felt over the past couple of days. I felt like there's a hole in my chest and stomach that is just numb like there's nothing inside of me. I put on a happy face because I can't bare telling people what I'm going through because my ex-best friend has ruined the trust I had in people. I feel like I'm drifting away from the people I care most about and it's sad to know that people trust me with their secrets and tell me what's wrong when their in a situation and need advice. Sometimes all I want to do is go to my room, curl up in a ball on my bed and not do anything or talk to anyone. I just want to cry when I feel like this and occasionally I just randomly want to cry when I'm at school but I hold it back because people will ask me what's wrong. I just want at least one person I can talk to about anything and I won't have to worry about them telling anyone else. I'm sick of being the happy one at school when inside I'm really hurting. My medication isn't helping and I've stopped seeing my councillor and psycharist. The psycharist I DO see I only see him for like 5 minutes every few months and that's really to see how my medication is going. It's not really sit down for a full hour and talk to him about how I'm feeling. I'm not sure when I'm supposed to see him again because my Mum had to cancel the appointment not last week but the week before because we both were sick and my Mum hadn't made another appointment. It's like I can't really show my emotions probably. When I'm angry, I tend to lose control completely and don't know what I'm doing or saying. It's like that when I'm really happy as well. When I'm depressed or sad, I just put on a happy face. My Mum said on Thursday while I was driving to work that there must be something wrong with me because it's like I don't get scared or nothing seems to bother me.
What can I do? Any advice or tips?
Thanks guys!


   
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angelicpsyco Offline
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Re: What the hells wrong with me? - June 20th 2010, 07:56 PM

well honestly ignoring your problems temoraily and just trying to be happy in life is a good thing but eventually your problems need to be resolved for you to truely be at peace...what exactly is deppressing you


If we ass humans spend more time trying to forgive than being angry the world would have no wars or conflict and there would be peace.....being angry does not change the problem...........
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When a blasian like me speaks you sit and listen!!!!...mmmp...mmpp...HI....lol
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