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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Molly
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I can't take it anymore!! - June 26th 2010, 05:33 AM

I feel like I'm about to explode I'm so fucking nervous and I hate myself sooo much. I just want some peace... I want to get out of my head and out of my entire life. I just weirded out this one girl who I really really like and I sounded like a huge jerk because I'm so fucking socially awkward... UUURRGGHH.. I also just started smoking again... Another reason why I'm mad at myself.. I just hate it so much.. I should be sleeping not sneaking upstairs and stealing my mom's cigarettes and smoking them in the bathroom!!!!! I think I'm addicted... Just like I'm addicted to SH. I want to be like all the other girls, who have boyfriends, and aren't hopelessly fantasizing about other girls AND boys who they will never ever have.. I'm still stuck on my ex-boyfriend who I also will never have but I spend around 2/3 of my day thinking of him.. I'm so fucking weird it's not even funny.. I recently almost had a panic attack over a chat on facebook... Anyways, I just had to write this crazy, angry thing about my life because I just don't know what to do. I'm not sure how to do anything at the moment, it's a miracle that I haven't cut myself by now, or worse. But if something doesn't change soon I swear I will hurt myself, because I just can't control myself.. The only good thing right now is theater camp and that ends in a week.. I just hurt so much and need some support please.


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I haven't cut or self-harmed in any other way since June 15, 2010!

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Re: I can't take it anymore!! - June 26th 2010, 06:05 AM

Hey. (:

Take a few deep breaths first--that always helps me when I feel a panic attack coming on. And it's okay to feel nervous over someone you like, it happens to everyone.

And, it's okay to not be like other girls who talk about having boyfriends; you're not weird, or anything like that.

I also think it's great you haven't cut! Or done self harm, for that matter. Maybe instead of focusing on hurting yourself you can focus on your theater camp instead? I always try to throw myself into something to take my mind off of things.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need anyone to just talk to. (: I hope I helped at least a little bit.
   
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Red face Re: I can't take it anymore!! - June 26th 2010, 06:30 AM

hello. i feel like how you do all the time it is hard but if i got through it so can you. thats great you have an outlet like theater! mine is art. i absolutely love it whem i get angry or upset i just paint i take pAint and just squirt random colors all over the paper and at the end i usally turn outwith something thats really cool to hang on my wall to remind me i did get through it. i can live my life. maybe you can make up a play or show or slmething with your friends or even just write one and keep on perfecting it. what ever will help you is key. just find something you love. i hope all gets better soon! thanks M
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