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Rachel0802 Offline
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Name: Rachel
Age: 27
Gender: Female

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Join Date: June 26th 2010

Unhappy Why can't it be over? - June 26th 2010, 03:39 PM

I have been depressed and suicidal for almost a year now. My parents fight constantly and my dad has been somewhat violent. My escape place would always be to my Grandma's house, which is a block away. She had a blood disorder for 3 years and she kept fighting it and then it just got the best of her and she died. This killed me because I had no where to run anymore. I miss her so much and I don't know how to move on. My friends are leaving me and now my parents are finally getting a divorce, which is good, but also another person leaving. I've done self injury and many attempts, and I was then hospitalized for 3 days. It was a nightmare there, and I pretended to be okay so I could get out. I've been on medicine for a while too, and its starting to not help again. I had to double my medicine dose again. I have to sleep with my puppy so I don't do anything. It affects my friends and my family, and I just don't see any light anymore. I just want this depression to go away or for my end to be near.

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luckyblue_e Offline
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Name: Emily
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Kansas

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Join Date: June 12th 2010

Re: Why can't it be over? - June 26th 2010, 06:15 PM

Hey Rachel. (:

You've had a really tough time, and it's understandable that you've been depressed by it, especially if you lose your escape to your grandmother's house.

And it's okay if you aren't ready to move on after someone so close to you has died. I still haven't completely moved on after my mom died, and it's been nearly five years. It's hard to move on after a family memeber passes away, especially if they have had SUCH a huge effect on your life.

Just take it one day at a time, and just focus on getting through that day, and knowing that things will get better.

And, as for you medicine, I'm no expert, but I think doubling your own dosage might be dangerous, maybe you could talk to your doctor about what to do for that? Maybe even changing the medicine you take? Just an idea. (:

I hope this helped. (: And, you can PM me anytime if you ever want to talk.

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