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underachiever93 Offline
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depression help needed - June 26th 2010, 11:31 PM

i'm a 16 year old male sophmore , junior this fall. I have servere depression issues. I feel that my life i pointless and insignificant. I'm well under the average height and on the chubby side. and am a person of color. In the course of my life time i've moved 4 times, in each losing what little family and friends I had. In most of those place i have been bullied, harass, and racially discriminated. curently I have 3 friends in total, have poor grades, and am in contact only with my imediate family. I feel like everyone around me is better than me, and that no one cares for me and feel unwanted. everyday i lock my self up in my room. I either bury myself in work or watch anime all day and blast emo music. this is going to sound weird but I thing i probably do that stuff to distract my self from reality, i want to live in that other perfect world.
In my family, I have my "dad" my "mom" and my "brother". My "dad" doesn't give a damn and shows no intrest in anything i do. My "mom" can't go a day with out yelling at people. she creates random pointless conflicts and doesn't understand the first thing about me. and my brother just does stupid stuff that anoys me. when ever want to talk to them about my feelings, they never understand. first because of the language barrier, they speak cantonese, and poor english, and i speak fluent english and bad cantonese. and secondly the culural difference, i grew up with american media, and they grew up in hong kong. With my family the main problem is that they don't understand or care for or about me. I also have alot of problems at school. at my school, i just don't fit in. I feel like im not as good as everyone esle, and that there has to be something wrong with me. Everyone at school is always talking about their boyfriends and girlfriends, honors and ap course, how they did at yesterdays game and what not. I do none of that. Im a social outcast. I sit alone at lunch and have three friends, all male. Girls hate me, they all steer clear of me. I take all curiculum one courses and get b's and c's. I do no sports. I do nearly nothing as well as others, and seemingly have no unique talent. I just get ignored. The only thing i do well is engineering. I'm involved with the school robotics team and i beleive myself to be decent at it. I pull more than my fair share of weight. but in the end, its a male dominant team, i get casted aside, and more than half the school ignores the team's existence, plus it drags my grades down full letters
I think all i want in life is to live a normal, average life, and have people that i care for and people that care for me. In conclusion, I feel that im not as good as other, get ignored, no one cares for me, and i feel empty and insignificant. any one got any advice?(sorry for the rough and long text, i'm not feelign the best right now and just wanna spit out all my emotions)
   
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ScarletRose Offline
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Re: depression help needed - June 27th 2010, 02:06 AM

my advice is go full out with your enginerring stuff if its what you love and it makes ou happy. but ou also need to focus on your grades to. your future is also very important if you want to have an enjoyable life full of friends and expieriences. maybe join a club to make more friends or a sport. im sure youll be okay. in the end. good luck!
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