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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I need help - June 29th 2010, 02:35 PM

I dont know why i started cutting. But now i do it because i hate myself. I just want to know why i am so depressed. For no reason ill start to feel an intense sadness, and somtimes might start day dreaming about suicide or cutting. what the fuk is wrong with me??? half the time i want to kill my self so badly and the other half im wondering what made me think of somthing like that in the first place. its fuked up. why do i keep thinking about it and trying to do it if i always stop at the last second or just not do it, only to go through the same thing the next day. My family tries to help (except for my sister who still hasnt figured it out and wont shut up about suicide for som reason) but i just end up acting just as bitchy as my sis does. Ive tried writing about it. ive written numerous poem and storied and have even started a book just to see if it would help. But nothing works. What is wrong with me? Im so fukin conflicted!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
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Re: I need help - June 29th 2010, 03:36 PM

How long have you been cutting now? You need to find reasons to like yourself. If you cant find any, then make some. If you cant be bothered, then you will not change until you can be bothered. Hating yourself has a terrible effect on everything in your life - trust me, i know. I know what it feels like. Its may take something happening for you to realise whats important.

Take care. x


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Take care. xx
   
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Re: I need help - June 29th 2010, 03:40 PM

It's a really difficult thing to deal with - I think most of us know the feeling. Everyone has a reason for self harming and sometimes it's really hard to get your head around. I think firt of all you need to figure out what's making you feel this way - don't push yurself, just try and think it through. That'll make it easier for you to sort it out and reason with it. You don't have to do it alone either - I knwo you say your family try to help and it doesn't work, perhaps you could try talking to a friend or even to a doctor -there could be a chance that this is depression-related, in which case a doctor can really help you out.
It's one of those things where you have to get it off our chest to help you feel calm enough to get around it and you have to remember that we're all here to listen - doesn't matter what it is.

You'd be surprised how common it is to feel this way and there's always a solution to it, it just might be really difficult to find.
If you wanna talk anymore, you can PM me (I can't guarantee I'll be online 24 hours but I can try and help )

Take care
   
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Re: I need help - July 2nd 2010, 03:24 AM

Thank you for your advice. I'm not sure how long this has been going on for but it hasn't gotten any better. I have a feeling it is depression related but I have some issues that keep me from getting actual help. I just got through this whole disaster that happened because I told somone so I won't be opening up again very soon unless I'm sure it will turn out okay. I can't think of any reason to like myself. I just can't. Thank you for being here....erm....there. (@_@)???
   
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Re: I need help - July 2nd 2010, 03:44 AM

Hey Joyce,

To me it sounds like you've been dealing with a case of depression, although only a doctor can truly tell you whether or not you are depressed. But I think there may be a good possibility, especially since you have been so seriously considering suicide lately.

Can you think of anything in your life that has happened that may have triggered this depression? You say you've had negative experiences with speaking to people about your problems, maybe your current mental health issues have something to do with whatever occurred with someone you trusted?

There are many things that can cause depression, and often times the key to getting through it is identifying what started it. Make a list of problems that you feel may have triggered your depression; don't include problems that are caused BY your depression, only ones that you feel may be the source of this depressed feeling you have been coping with.

When you aim your focus on these particular problems, it will be much easier for you to tackle them. You won't be fighting depression as a whole, but instead a few individual problems that have been the cause of your depression.

Sometimes it's not easy to find these causes on your own, though, and once you have it's not always easy to deal with them by yourself. I know you say you have a problem with confiding in people, but maybe you might want to think about talking to a mental health professional. This is often a great way to sort through problems with depression and the like, and it may be very beneficial for you.

As for the self harm, you might want to check out this thread: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ which will give you alternatives and distractions to self harm. Try to replace self harm with a healthier habit, one that relieves you from any stress or negative emotions you may be feeling, just as self harm may seem to do for you. That way you will truly be working against this problem, not just finding a temporary solution for it that only causes more problems in the long run.

I hope that you end up feeling better soon. You're always welcome to PM me.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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