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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Eyes on Fire-Xx Offline
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I could do it tonight... - June 30th 2010, 03:02 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Im trying to hold myself back, but my resons for living are just getting fainter and fainter...I could do it tonight, theres nothing to hold me back...I dont even feel guilty for thinking it anymore.. I know i should feel guilty or somthing, but i think of killing myself and can only think of the relife and peace id feel...all my problems, all the pain and sadness, gone just like that...i know everyone would get sad, and that should give me second thoughts, but...i just dont care anymore. its like iv run out of pain or sadness to feel, or its numbed me... just feel empty, depressed and suicidal... i could do it right now...theres a knife on my night stand, or theres a rifle in the closet...i know were the keys to the gun cabnant are...i know i shouldnt think this way, but, the excuses for living are fading, getting blurry and seem irrelevent...i know i shouldnt tho, so, help?


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Re: I could do it tonight... - June 30th 2010, 03:09 AM

I know its so easy to say but you have to keep fighting. There has to be something that you are still living for and you need to keep living for that reason until you find something else.
PM me if you need anything.


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Eyes on Fire-Xx Offline
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Re: I could do it tonight... - June 30th 2010, 03:49 AM

thats the problem...i have nothing i want to hold onto...just thinking about waking up tommarow, i cant even think of it...any resons i had are blurred and faint, i can barely think of them...the only thing right now is the knowladge that i shouldnt...i cant think why i shouldnt, just, i shouldnt...but that only lasts so long....


The strongest oaks
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PM me anytime for anything at all! <3<3<3
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Re: I could do it tonight... - June 30th 2010, 04:12 AM

Then live for me. I have been in the same place you are in so many times and look at me, I'm here trying to help you get through it. It will get better I promise.


The lines I wear around my wrist are there to prove that I exist


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Re: I could do it tonight... - June 30th 2010, 04:39 AM

Try a doctor or a professional, you don't deserve to suffer like this. Depression is curable and you can find help for this, and as difficult as it may be to imagine, the pain can be eased eventually. You're a wonderful person, you have your whole future ahead of you and there's so many things you can do and achieve. If you want help, it means deep down you really don't want to die. Hang in there, it can only get better and more people care about you than you might think.


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Eyes on Fire-Xx Offline
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Re: I could do it tonight... - June 30th 2010, 12:37 PM

i didnt get to read the last 2 last night >_< probly shouldv checked this...but, im allright now...waking up in a pudle of blood on the floor definantly gave me a slap in the face to sanity...i pased out befor i cut very deep...but thank you guys, i reaaaly shouldv checked this first...but i wasnt in my right mind...now, i seriously need some water or somthing cause i am dizzy as hell.


The strongest oaks
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and Diamonds are
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PM me anytime for anything at all! <3<3<3
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Re: I could do it tonight... - June 30th 2010, 05:24 PM

I wish you wouldnt have to wake up in a puddle of blood to realize things.


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Love is love no matter who your in love with.
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Eyes on Fire-Xx Offline
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Re: I could do it tonight... - July 1st 2010, 04:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Forever View Post
I wish you wouldnt have to wake up in a puddle of blood to realize things.
I wasnt realy thinking very much..my mind can drift away if i get depresed enough...but, at least i woke up, and at least i realized things, right? cause my mind screws up sometimes, and that was my mind screwing up on me, wich i plan on getting help for soon...


The strongest oaks
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and Diamonds are
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PM me anytime for anything at all! <3<3<3
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Re: I could do it tonight... - July 1st 2010, 05:24 AM

Hey Sumi. I know that life is hard. Depression is curable though. While you are seeking help, feel free to take a look at THIS.
Good luck! PM me anytime.
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Re: I could do it tonight... - July 1st 2010, 10:34 AM

I find the hardest times of life are 17 and under

I thought about suicide every single day since I was 7 up until 17

Once you hit that 18 mark (it may take longer), everything slowly starts to make sense, then you realise "What was the point of wasting all my years thinking of suicide?"

What I am trying to say is life right now may be hard for you, because it was definately hard for me when I was your age. I attempted many things that I am glad failed including jumping off a bridge, stabbing myself in the throat with a kitchen knife and attempting to hang myself. I am 19 now, finished school and have so much to live for.

If you can surive through this, I swear to god life will get better. It may still have it's ups and downs, but emotionally being a teen is the worst part of life.
   
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