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Twisted Offline
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Fed up of feeling 'hard done by' when i'm clearly not. - July 5th 2010, 05:43 PM

Well i spent ages typing something out, then my browser messed up and went back a page, majorly pissed but i'll try and remember everything. Also i'm not sure if i've got the right section, so feel free to move.

Anyway recently more and more i've been feeling hard done by, like i've drawn the short straw. I'll try and explain, for example a couple of months ago it was my friends birthday and we all went clubbing. We met at her house and had to get 2 taxis because there were a few of us. We'd all organised who was going with who but instead of sending 2 people carriers like they were supposed to they sent one normal car and one people carrier. This meant that someone from my taxi group (who had the normal car) had to switch. Everyone who was with me turned around and said "i'm not switching" without giving me a chance to even say anything. They just turned around to me and expected me to switch, i tried to put up a fight but it just wasn't working and i was basically forced to switch. I know that sounds really childish but my point about this story is no one was listening to me, no one asked (had someone asked i would have agreed) me they just told me to switch, and it just felt like i didn't even matter. I was fuming.

And i'm fed up of feeling like that. All through school there were always people there who were always making jokes at my expense, and during my early days at school i was bullied. I didn't do anything back then except ignore it, although it still hurt. I think it's made me become really defensive when it comes to jokes, you know how it is everyone makes little jokes about each other, in a light hearted often funny way. But i NEVER see the funny side of these jokes when they're made at my expense. My boyfriend has gotten frustrated so many times because i get hurt so easily by these jokes which no normal person would get offended by. With my friends i tend to just try and laugh with them because they'd just question my sense of humor but i still feel angry, because deep down i feel like there's some truth to the jokes. Sometimes i snap and tell them to stop but then they get all "god it was only a joke", something similar happened with one of my friends on facebook, she left a comment on my status saying the complete wrong thing at the wrong time and i took it the wrong way (tbf sarcasm online doesn't really work). It's just no one understands, nor will they probably ever understand why i'm like that. They will just tell me to get over myself most likely.

I'm sick to death of feeling so hard done by because i know i'm not. I have everything i need, the most amazing boyfriend, a family who loves me and who i love very much and great friends. There's people who have it way worse of than me and i just feel so stupid for feeling like this when there's people without a roof over their head, but at the same time i can't help it it's just there and i can't control it. I keep trying to think of all the great things i have in my life but it never makes the feeling go away. I don't want to feel like i get the short straw, i want to be happy and satisfied and appreciative of what i have.
   
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Re: Fed up of feeling 'hard done by' when i'm clearly not. - July 5th 2010, 10:39 PM

i know how you feel its hard to tell believe but you just gotta keep telling your self things CAN get better and they will, no worries things suck now but something i tell myself when i feel that way a quote i found from a movie case "The harder the life the sweeter the song" now im a musician so it might mean more to me but think yeah laugh it up while you can we'll see who is the stronger person in the end, it really does help


The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
How much you can take, and keep moving forward.
PM me if you need to talk about ANYTHING.
   
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Re: Fed up of feeling 'hard done by' when i'm clearly not. - July 5th 2010, 11:28 PM

well ive never heard the expression hard done by but i beleive that i know exactly how you feel. i hate when my freinds are all hanging out at one of ther house and im ther as part of the group but if they all want to go somewhere i gotta go home cause thers no room in the car....about the teasing jokes....your not alone...perhaps if you responded "look i dont know if your joking or not but please stop im not in the mood" people should respect that you dont take kindly to personal teasing... its not something that makes u any less fun its just a quirk...a pet peeve.... anyway you seem nice and im sure u are just remember that emotionaly ther is no decisive normal trend....rich poor we all have our upsets...dont feel bad about feeling upset...and know that openness is your key to success i hope this helped feel free to pm me ;p
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Re: Fed up of feeling 'hard done by' when i'm clearly not. - July 6th 2010, 10:50 AM

Honestly, it's perfectly normal. Some people are simply a little more serious minded and take things a little more literally. Good friends will recognize and respect that and will tone down on jokes around you. After all, it isn't really necessary for friends to constantly insult each other "for fun". If it really is all in good humor, then a friend should be fine with it if you would rather they didn't.

The truth is "joking around" with each other is often born from insecurity. It's kind of like a constant sub-conscious competition between friends to establish equality or superiority to one another. Personally I never "insult joke" with friends in the slightest. It's just who I am. And I've found my close friends are the same with me, even if they joke around with others.

Don't change who you are for anyone. If friends can't honestly see that you'd prefer them not to joke with you, they aren't being good friends. You're a nice person and deserve to be happy and treated far better.


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Re: Fed up of feeling 'hard done by' when i'm clearly not. - July 6th 2010, 01:45 PM

Thanks for the responses, it's nice to know that people have understood. I'm just gonna try and relax more, i keep worrying because i have no job at the moment and have no idea what i want to do with my life so it's kinda scary. But i'm sure i can get through it and become a stronger person in the end.
   
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