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Aeran Offline
Need to get away...
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Possibly Triggering : I don't know what else to do... - July 7th 2010, 02:34 AM

I'm just so sad. God. I can't even get out of bed anymore. I just lay here and cry. I've given up eating. I tried to commit suicide back in 2004, but was caught before I made it. I have considered it multiple times since then, but never as seriously as I am now. I've been a cutter since I was 13, and up until now that has always been enough. It's just not enough anymore!

Two more weeks... two more weeks and a little bit of money could have changed everything. Now it's too late and I'm just so sad.

I can't start this whole journey again. It took two years for me to get to this point, and two days for everything to fall out of place.

I don't know if I have the energy to try again.

I don't know if I even want to try again.

I was so close to escaping this situation. So close.

Jeeze, I'm crying again. Damn it.

I was so READY, you know? I had the good job lined up, my stuff packed, my finances in order.

All this work for what? NOTHING, absolutely nothing.

If I could come up with $100 by the end of the week, I could possibly still get through, but where the hell am I going to come up with that kind of money in six days? Huh?

I had the money Damnit! I HAD IT in my pocket... My stupid ass had to allow myself to get financially RAPED!

All I have left is a half a tank of gas and a handful of change. I can't get through four weeks on that! DAMNIT! DAMN DAMN DAMN!

I'm so angry at my parents for doing this to me and at myself for letting my parents do this to me.

Why do I let them rip me off!? WHY?

AUGH!
   
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Eljoria Offline
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Re: Possibly Triggering : I don't know what else to do... - July 8th 2010, 08:44 AM

Whoa. I'm here if you need me.
Whoa don't be angry with yourself because you cant get away from your own body. the best way is to heal yourself before the people after you.

im here if u need me. just pm me x


Jay

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