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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy what the hell is wrong? - July 7th 2010, 08:24 PM

I don't know what to do with my life anymore. My depression is stronger than any time before. There's no day I don't feel like go and kill myself... then I do nothing but crying.
Yesterday I "stole" some grandpa's pills, those were meant to lower my blood pressure, and overdose could lead me to a heart failure. I wanted to take them so bad, but my grandpa arrived and I had to hide them with the intention of taking them today.
My mother found them and asked me why I was doing this, I don't even know what to say, it seems like I can't suffer more, I just can't care about what's going on with me, I hate myself because I can't understand myself.
I made new friends and instead of being happy, I'd try as hard as possible to avoid them, and I feel like cutting more and more.
My ED is getting worse, I can't control it anymore
I give troubles to my family, is it fair that I made my mum feel bad? Not really.
Everyone's life would be happier without me, it's all I can think now. Please, what can I do to improve my mood? I want to change or to die.


Fear Cuts Deeper Than Knives

"And if you told me 'go to the hell', I'd tell you I know pretty well that place"
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Re: what the hell is wrong? - July 7th 2010, 10:20 PM

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this but it's really good that you're asking for help.

I'm really glad you didn't take your grandfather's pills, have you spoken to a professional about these feelings you are experiencing? It's not your fault you feel like this and I'm sure your family don't think that it is either. They sound like they really want to help you, can you sit down with your mum to discuss how you are feeling at the moment?

I promise you that people would not be happier if you weren't here, in fact I'm sure that they would miss you an awful lot.

You've come so far sweetie, you sound like a fighter, you've resisted giving in so much, I know it's hard but try and take the next step by talking to people about it as you've done here. If that's too difficult you could show them what you've written here.

Don't give up, take care xxx
   
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You're NOT Alone - July 8th 2010, 12:59 AM

I've struggled with a lot of suicidal ideation since I became depressed 4 years ago, but things have gotten especially bad the past year. These are some things that really helped me through-

Ask yourself "If I was happy, how would life be different than it is now?" It may be hard to imagine if you've been in emotional pain for a long time, but try to write as much as you can about what your life would be like. Then try to pick out the things in your "happy" life that you actually have control over and can work towards. Something like winning the lottery isn't realistic, but there are probably going to be several things that you do have control over. Make them specific and realistic goals and try to take small steps towards them everyday.

sometimes when i feel like people would be better off without me i watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv2DyzhxpA0 its a music video that is about suicide, and has real parents whose kids killed themselves talking about how hard hard losing their children. the video is only a few minutes long and may make you rethink if you believe that your family would quickly move on.

feeling like i have a purpose. weirdos do great things. most great artists and inventors had some major issues, but they are thought of as major contributors to our society. if you stick around, maybe you would help the world in some way, even if its just by being a kick ass mom, or mentoring a teen who has no one to look up to when you are older.

I hope this helps a little bit, please feel free to VM or PM me anytime, and remember,
YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
Megan



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
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Re: what the hell is wrong? - July 8th 2010, 02:36 PM

thank you guys, I hope it helps... really thanks


Fear Cuts Deeper Than Knives

"And if you told me 'go to the hell', I'd tell you I know pretty well that place"
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