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PGP Offline
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i'm just done. - July 8th 2010, 02:45 AM

i'm....not entirely sure why i'm posting anything at all. I guess TeenHelp has grown on me. oh well.
i guess i need to let it all out.
i'm just f***ing done with everything. i'm done pretending to be someone i'm not so everyone around me is comfortable.
i'm done with loving.
i'm done with feeling, and getting walked all over.
life is not worth it.
i've dealt with too much shit from everyone, and i don't get anything in return.
i'm sorry if this sounds terribly "oh-woe-is-me" and like i'm looking for pity or attention, but i'm just done caring about any of that.
if anyone thinks they can help, or would like to try, i'm open to whatever. but i'm not sure.

it's been almost 5 months since I last cut myself (by far the longest i've gone) and i just don't know if i can hold back anymore. it doesn't make me feel better, and i know it's a stupid thing to do, but it's what I DO. and i'm done pretending differently.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm just done. - July 8th 2010, 03:02 AM

Hi there, David. I'm glad you are reaching out to us. I know what it feels like to be done and just wanting to give up. But the truth is, you won't feel like this forever. Feelings come and go, right? So will the feeling of being depressed like this. I speak from experience. It's okay to reach out like you did by posting this thread. That shows, somewhere deep down, you want to go on. I also know what it's like to be treated unfairly. It isn't a good feeling at all. However, people care about you. I'm one of those people. This will get better.

Please feel free to PM or VM me any time.
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Re: i'm just done. - July 8th 2010, 03:06 AM

I know that right now you dont feel like life is worth what you are feeling but those feelings will not last forever. i know that right now it feels like they will but from someone who survived, things can get better and they will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

Why are you done with loving? I know that love can be a crazy emotion but sometimes it can be a crazy good emotion.

If you dont want to pretend anymore than why continue to? I know that its hard to stop pretending after you have done it over a long period of time but it is possible to slowly open yourself and become true to who you are and want to be. Take things one step at a time, one day at a time.

I know that I am not offering much advice, sorry. But please if you ever want to talk PM me. Im always here.

And by the way- 5 months without cutting! Congrats! I know the urge to cut and not deal with your feelings is getting stronger probably but take it one day at a time. Live for today, not for yesterday or tomorrow. Live for today. And tell yourself when you feeling like SHing "I can SH tomorrow"---and then when tomorrow comes it will be today so the key is tomorrow never comes when you are living for today. (I hope that makes sense haha).

Please stay strong and true to yourself!

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person." -Gerard Way
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Re: i'm just done. - July 8th 2010, 03:41 AM

thank you Karyn and Lizzi. i felt better after i posted that, i guess knowing that other people care and are there to help is what i needed.
i'll keep on, as long as i can, but if i feel my control slipping, i'm coming to you guys, lol

and by the way, the advice to "take things one step at a time, one day at a time" may be old, but it is excellent advice nonetheless. i never tire of hearing it, i just wish i could really accept it and follow it for more than a week.

i know that things won't get easier for awhile (if at all) but at least i have people to help me on my way, here on TH
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Re: i'm just done. - July 8th 2010, 03:43 AM

I just wanted to encourage you to reach out for help to people in your life because it sounds like you may have a mental illness such as Depression. Many Mental illnesses like depression are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as eating balanced meals and getting enough sleep. It is however very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better.

We all need somebody to lean on. Reach out for help and support from people online, at a hotline, or who you know and trust. If you think it would be a burden, imagine that you had a friend who killed themselves and in the note said they didn't reach out for help to you because they didn't want to "bother" you. asking for help now will be a lot less painful/burdensome on another person than killing yourself would be. if words aren't doing you justice, try art!

if you are at home and are having really strong urges/racing thoughts try filling up a large bucket or bowl with ice water, elet it get really cold for a few minutes, and then stick your face in it as long as you can a few times. it's incredibly hard to think about how much life sucks when your face is in ice water. taking a 3-5 minute cold shower can also have this effect

I'm always willing to chat, VM or PM.

You're NOT alone.

When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
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Re: i'm just done. - July 8th 2010, 03:54 AM

i hope i can be as much help to you as you were to me but trust me i know what its like to feel done.
it is awesome that you have gone 5 months without cutting. i know from experience thats not an easy thing to do.
when i was having trouble resisting cutting i reminded myself of how long i had gone and told myself that cutting wasnt worth throwing away the months of work.
Simply ranting about what is going on and the way you are feeling can be very helpful too.
Things do get better it just takes time.
Just from the little bit of time ive talked to you i already care about you.
hang in there.
Any time you want to talk or rant or ask questions or anything feel free to PM me


PM me anytime

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