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Name: Jordon Hall
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she broke my heart - July 9th 2010, 02:09 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Last night was the first time I actually followed throw with wanting to just end my life.
I saw pictures of my ex girlfriend who is the only girl I ever loved.. kissing another guy. I lost it, I punched a whole in my wall, I broke down crying in my kitchen. I bashed my face off the stove. I swallowed 2 sleeping pills drank 2 beers and a mickey and don't remember anything...
I'm sketching hard.. I want to live but I just can't do it without her around.. shes told me so much about wanting to marry me one day and how much she loves me, it just hurts me even more...
I don't want it to hurt anymore...


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Re: she broke my heart - July 9th 2010, 04:04 PM

Jordon, I know it hurts to see someone you love carry on, while you're at a stand-still. After my first couple break-ups, I tried to off myself as well. I know how painful it can be.

However, remember that, no matter how cliche it sounds, "theres more fish in the sea". Sure, I know you don't want fish, but the saying is figurative, not literal.

Basically, no matter how tough things seem, and how right now it seems she's the only one, there will be someone else. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point in your life. I mean, I've never thought there'd be anyone else, but I've found others, been hurt by them, and so on. It's, unfortunately, a trial-and-error thing to find the right someone.

I've had a few exes, all of them dumped me except one, who I broke up with after he had become abusive, and lazy. I wanted to get a job after high school, he wanted to drop out of school to sleep in til 2pm and play X-Box for the few hours he was awake.

The last relationship I was in, the fellow dumped me because he couldn't handle me. My horrid moodswings, my suicidal tendencies, etc. drove him away. I didn't think anyone would ever want to be with me again.

But now, I'm in a long-distance relationship, have been for a bit over a year, with a guy who is there for me through everything, and understands why I act out like I do. He's the most supportive person I've ever had in my life, and I'm meeting him in about 3 weeks for the first time. Sure, he's not local, but hes put up with me, and loved me for who I am, which is more than I can say about the others.

So remember, though there may not be fish in your local pond, the sea is huge, and full of good fish waiting to be caught by a good guy.


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Re: she broke my heart - July 9th 2010, 05:36 PM

Hey there Jordan!

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. I completely agree with Julz. I know right now, it doesn't seem it but things will get better in the end. They always do, you just have to be strong. It's hard watching an ex move on, I know, but you can do it. You're strong! Plus you have us awesome THers You'll find that special someone


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