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-   -   idk ok (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t49129-idk-ok/)

ruki July 10th 2010 04:17 AM

idk ok
 
hey...

if u r reading this i say thanks

im really ready to just take a ton of pills or something...im soo upset! i cant take all the pain there is...the joy doesnt over take it at all. im walking around like, sad...
i get triggered by everything, by the stupidest things....
i cant take this life anymore. i want to die and get it over with. im ready to. ive lived enough. 14 years? good.
i cant take my home, school, and people leaving me...everyone always leaves and i am left, crying, by myself, alone.

i cant be alone anymore.
im going to do it...
a small part of me doesnt want to, but most of me does....

im sorry for wveryone i know on TH, im sorry i hurt you guys... *:(

jodie

Loving Linux Penguin July 10th 2010 04:27 AM

Re: idk ok
 
Hey. :hug:

ruki, I'm really sorry you feel this way. Firstly I want to say that you are NOT alone. You have all of us here on teenhelp. I realize it's not the same but we all are here for you. And, there's bound to be someone out there that cares. Deny it all you want, but somebody in this cold, cruel world cares and loves you to death. Just hang in there. I know it's frustrating. but hang in there. It will all be okay :hug:

ruki July 10th 2010 04:34 AM

Re: idk ok
 
idk jazz...i just want everything to end. its too much to deal with. i cant do this anymore...too much guilt, pain, sadness, longing, wishing and wanting things that are never going to happen...missing people...i cant do this anymore. its never going to end will it?

PS. i used to be Rukia22

jodie

Crescendo July 10th 2010 05:13 PM

You're NOT Alone
 
Jodie,

First of all, well done for reaching out for help. It's not an easy thing to do, but it's a step in the right direction.

You said there's a tiny part of you that wants to live. Cling to that part. Have that tiny part of you write a letter to the rest of you, arguing why you should live. Save the letter, and read it as much as you need.

Your life has meaning Jodie, and its not meant to be done yet. if you stick around, maybe you would help the world in some way even if it would just be being a kick butt parent some day, or being a mentor to a teen later in life or something. OR maybe you will write a novel based on your struggles and help thousands of others.

Remember,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj0PtMZaWss

"you're NOT alone.
There is more to this I know.
you can make it out.
you will live to tell."
-You're not alone by Saosin

feel free to VM or PM me anytime.

:hug:
Megan

Loving Linux Penguin July 13th 2010 12:06 AM

Re: idk ok
 
I completely agree. Your life, and every other life, has meaning. You're not alone, even if you feel like you are. Just keep on pushing yourself and hanging on.

annalibelle July 14th 2010 02:34 AM

Re: idk ok
 
I don't know you yet, so you should hang arround so i can get to know you. But joking aside, what every one else said was right, and your life does have worth. And 14 years is not enough, think of all the things you haven't done yet. You aren't alone, you have TH and a random stranger like me.
Love from a Stranger,
Annali


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