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Danielly23 Offline
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so sad always - July 16th 2010, 01:03 AM

I feel as if I definitely have depression and have had it for a while, but now my thought is that it has become worse over the past couple of months. I've been told to talk to someone, but talking face to face with people about my thoughts isn't something that comes easy to me. I'm almost in denial about the fact that I should get some help with it. I get so upset because I don't want to need medicine just to be happy when people without depression can just be happy. It is so unfair to me, not that life is fair anyways. Also, one of the main issues that causes me to get very sad all the time is that I don't have friends really to talk to even if I wanted to. I'm a very friendly person, but I am not too outgoing or talkative. Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with my sadness and constant negative thoughts about myself.
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Re: so sad always - July 16th 2010, 03:01 AM


I agree, depression sucks but I promise you can overcome its effects on your life. With the proper help, care and support you can overcome it and have a normal life.

One suggestion I would make is that you talk to a therapist. I know you don't want to be one of those people who has to rely on medicine and I completely understand that but most doctors are not going to immediately make you take meds. Most of the time a therapist will evaluate you and the depth of the depression and go from there. My old therapist didn't refer me to a psychiatrist until the second or third session. He wanted to get a good enough idea of where I was at.

Also, in terms of medicine, you might not have to rely on it forever (if it was decided that you needed some). Most doctors actually prefer to reevaluate the use of a patients medicine after a certain amount of time (at least a good psychiatrist is like that). The way my therapist explained medicine to me is that it is used, mostly, to help people get stabilized and to a point where they aren't thinking of suicide all the time etc. During the course of medicine usage the patients will be in therapy dealing with the issues behind the depression, learning other ways to cope and what not. Once the patient gets to a better place (most doctors want to wait at lease a year to determine this, or at least that is what mine told me) the therapist and psychiatrist might talk with the patient about slowly weaning off of the meds. And, if you make it clear from the start that you don't want to rely on meds forever they will know how you feel and take that into consideration.

I know getting professional help can be scary but in the end it can be really really helpful.

As for the friendship issue; I am kind of dealing with the same thing. Anyway, I have talked to numerous people about finding more friends and what not and they all said that the only way I am really going to meet people is if I talk to them. They told me that it is going to be hard as heck at first but with time it gets easier. That is why I have made a resolution to talk more in my classes next semester and hopefully I will be able to take the leap and ask someone to coffee or something. So, I would suggest that you do the same thing. I know it is hard but you can do it. What is the worst that can happen? If you aren't in school maybe you could look into joining some kind of group? Or joining a class at an adult school near you?

If you are a religious person maybe you could look into to finding a church group that would fit your needs? I know there are a lot of church groups for people in my age bracket (18-25).

As for dealing with the constant negative thoughts you are having about yourself the best thing to do is counter them with positive thoughts. When a negative thought comes into your mind push it aside and say 'no I am a good person." Even if you don't always believe it you fake it till you make it. And, I promise you can make it.

Also, something else that might help is if you do morning affirmations. What this means is every morning you write down one good thought or thing about yourself and you repeat it any time you are struggling. For example, you could say 'I have gorgeous eyes' and whenever a negative thought comes into your head you repeat that. If you really want to go all out you could make a project out of those morning affirmations; you could get some construction paper and markers or paint and make the morning affirmation into something beautiful. Once it is done you could hang it on your walls and any time you are struggling you will have it to look at. I know that when I was in treatment for and Eating Disorder the house that some of the girls lived in had a bunch of these morning affirmation project hung up. It was quite cool to walk into the house and read " I am beautiful." or " I am stronger then my ED". Maybe this will help you.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.


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Re: so sad always - July 16th 2010, 01:11 PM

Thank you that was great advice and I'll definitely have to try out some of those suggestions.
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Re: so sad always - July 17th 2010, 01:58 AM

Talk to a thereapist, and tell him/her that you don't want to de overly dependant on medicine. If you don't like talking face to face, maybe write something down in preparation.
I get Negative thoughts allot too, and if stating that you are a good person doesn't work, then try to reson with yourself. Counter every negative thought with an example of something good about your self. It works!
Life sometimes isn't fair and this depresion was given to you, but not others, so you might have to work harder for happiness than others. This doesn't make you any worse than them.
If you can't talk with you're meat space (i.e. real life) friends, than talk here.
PM me if you need talk
Good Luck,

"Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining"- Owl City
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