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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Obliviate Offline
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I'm a liar. - July 16th 2010, 08:52 PM

A few days ago i recieved this e-mail from one of my supposed friends.

Look, you're the reason everyone is falling out with you're stupid depression that probably isn't real, I'm way more depressed than you but I sorted myself out instead of going on and on and plus you're bringing everyone else down with you, so before you even have the guts to sort our friendships out, go and sort yourself and you're head out.

I sat and cried for a good two hours after reading it. I was afraid something like this was going to happen. This is why I didn't want to tell people in the first place. Because in the end I was bound to get called a liar and a fake.
I try and explain to them what's going on in my life and they don't want to hear it. One minute I am hated for being too big-headed and self-sure and then the next I'm hated for being too depressed. I get the blame for absolutely everything. It's always my fault.
I don't know how to be around them anymore. I can't win. I wish they understood.




   
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Re: I'm a liar. - July 16th 2010, 11:38 PM

Charlotte,

I am sorry that your friends responded the way they did. That is not fair at all and you definitely don't deserve it. I know their response to your reaching out is kind of hard to handle but I promise you can get through and I promise in the future there will be people who can and will be able to support you.

Here is the thing; there are quite a number of people who don't completely understand depression or think because they were able to get over it
'easily' that others should too. However each person is different, each person has different reasons behind their depression etc.

There are always going to be people in life who are not going to understand your issues but along with them are going to be people who can.

I just recently found friends and there are two or three that can understand where I am coming from. Then there are a few that don't really understand and then there are some who don;t know. The thing is I take from each person what I can and learn to live with the rest. Some of my friends can offer me support for my depression and what not. Other friends can offer me emotional support but in a different way. As time goes by you will be able to realize what each friendship you have can offer you and you will be able to accept that.

One thing I would like to suggest is that you try and talk to your friends and explain to them how you are feeling. If they are not caring enough to respect your feelings then they are not the friends for you.

I would also like to suggest that you sit down and talk to your friends and try to establish boundaries in the relationship. Ask them to tell you, in a nice way, when they need to take a break from talking about rough stuff and just have fun. That way your friends will feel better about being able to say 'Charlotte, we love you to pieces and we are so sorry you are struggling but could we maybe come back to this later? I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and just need time to cool off." This might help to stop future argument/feelings being hurt.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: I'm a liar. - July 17th 2010, 12:45 AM

Charlotte,
Don't blame yourself. You're right when you said so called friends because they obviously aren't great friends. You did nothing wrong. You did exactly the right thing. This has happened to me before and it took me a long time to get over. You just have to understand some people only think of themselves before others. You'll make new friends and you'll make ones who will actually stick with you through everything. Don't let this person hold you back. You're stronger than that. You're not a liar, you're a strong, beautiful, amazing girl. Don't let anyone tell you different. I know it may be hard to trust people again, but don't be afraid. Just because one person acted like this, doesn't mean everyone will. Keep your head held high and stay positive Charlotte! I know you can do it! I'm here if you ever want to talk!
Stay strong,
Alessa


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Re: I'm a liar. - July 17th 2010, 02:19 AM

Heh, screw them. My depression is bigger than yourrrrrsss

No seriously, whip it out and we'll measure.

'You are stupid depression and you are head out'-- Not the only stupid thing!

Seriously though, don't let idiots like that get you down.

She sounds pissed that you're depressed but she's really pissed off it sounds like to me because she's not getting attention.

Type of person who wants 'victim' stamped across their forehead.
   
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Re: I'm a liar. - July 17th 2010, 02:21 AM

She is being very jugmental about something that isn't you're fault. Does she know that you can't help/ don't want the depression. Confront her and ask how she knows that what you feel ,and how she is worse off than you. It's not like she's a mind reader. Give her the benfit of the doubt, though. Your friend might just be frustrated that she can't help you, and venting her frustration. See if she still feels the same after a while. If she is honestly apologetic, consider mending your friendship. If she still isn't, then she's not a true friend.


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Re: I'm a liar. - July 17th 2010, 02:54 AM

Dear Charlotte,

Do not be afraid, you are not fake, you are as real as one can get. Your friends, those people you want to tell, they may not hear what you have to say clearly because of their own life's problems, but it doesn't mean they don't care. It sounds like you and your friends are dealing with the teen times, those years of confusion we hear so much cliches about. Sit back, take a deep breathe, picture a babbling brook.

All that big-headed, being hated, fake lying stuff can just float on down that brook with the rest of last years autumn leaves. Spring has sprung, summer is here, take a breather for yourself. Even though your friends are in a knot do not worry they just need to to sort themselves out just as they claim you do. The sun will fall and rise again. Just hang on, soon you will be right as rain.
   
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Re: I'm a liar. - July 17th 2010, 12:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~CourageousSurvivor~ View Post

One thing I would like to suggest is that you try and talk to your friends and explain to them how you are feeling. If they are not caring enough to respect your feelings then they are not the friends for you.

I would also like to suggest that you sit down and talk to your friends and try to establish boundaries in the relationship. Ask them to tell you, in a nice way, when they need to take a break from talking about rough stuff and just have fun. That way your friends will feel better about being able to say 'Charlotte, we love you to pieces and we are so sorry you are struggling but could we maybe come back to this later? I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and just need time to cool off." This might help to stop future argument/feelings being hurt.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.

Jenna
I have tried doing this on two occasion in the past 3 months. It never works. none of them want to sit and talk about it because they say it will just cause more problems to get stuff out in the open. I really want to sort things out but they just throw it back in my face. I like talking about things.. talking them through. My friends on the other hand prefer to fall out with you and bitch about it. I hate arguments.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alessa (>**)> View Post
Charlotte,
Don't blame yourself. You're right when you said so called friends because they obviously aren't great friends. You did nothing wrong. You did exactly the right thing. This has happened to me before and it took me a long time to get over. You just have to understand some people only think of themselves before others. You'll make new friends and you'll make ones who will actually stick with you through everything. Don't let this person hold you back. You're stronger than that. You're not a liar, you're a strong, beautiful, amazing girl. Don't let anyone tell you different. I know it may be hard to trust people again, but don't be afraid. Just because one person acted like this, doesn't mean everyone will. Keep your head held high and stay positive Charlotte! I know you can do it! I'm here if you ever want to talk!
Stay strong,
Alessa
I'll try my best. There's only two friends that have really stuck with me through everything. One lives on the otherside of the world and the other is my best friend. they're both amazing but it's hard to talk to them about stuff now because I don't want to be seen as attention seeking. I'm afraid that if I keep everything bottled up and keep secrets from them that they will start to hate me. ugh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite View Post
Heh, screw them. My depression is bigger than yourrrrrsss

No seriously, whip it out and we'll measure.

'You are stupid depression and you are head out'-- Not the only stupid thing!

Seriously though, don't let idiots like that get you down.

She sounds pissed that you're depressed but she's really pissed off it sounds like to me because she's not getting attention.

Type of person who wants 'victim' stamped across their forehead.
This made me smile.. I love this :') I never saw it this way before...
Only a few weeks ago she told me she'd be here for me whatever happens because she knows what it feels like. but ever since all of my other friends are being funny with me she has jumped on the bandwagon. I think it's really childish.

Quote:
Originally Posted by annalibelle View Post
She is being very jugmental about something that isn't you're fault. Does she know that you can't help/ don't want the depression. Confront her and ask how she knows that what you feel ,and how she is worse off than you. It's not like she's a mind reader. Give her the benfit of the doubt, though. Your friend might just be frustrated that she can't help you, and venting her frustration. See if she still feels the same after a while. If she is honestly apologetic, consider mending your friendship. If she still isn't, then she's not a true friend.
I didn't reply to the e-mail. I don't know what to say. It makes me think that she has been talking to some of my other 'friends' about me because i didnt tell her about how bad it was or anything. I didn't tell her about what's been going off. She seems to just presume all the time. I want her to be the one asking to be my friend. I'm fed up of saying sorry to people :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mjolnir View Post
Dear Charlotte,

Just hang on, soon you will be right as rain.
You know it's raining right now. I just finished doing my paper round in it. Rain is beautiful in a way. I think the steady sound it makes as it hits the floor is just like a lullaby. and i love the feel of it. it felt really nice to just get soaked ahaha
I don't feel right as rain... but I feel better.. rain definitely makes things better


Thankyou to all of you for your replies guys
they were much needed... sometimes I think I just need some advice and to have a bit of a vent. xx




   
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Re: I'm a liar. - July 17th 2010, 02:42 PM

Glad to see a smile blossom.

Just as the humble flower needs sun and rain to live, we need the joy and tears to grow.



Being a percussionist and big fan of music I know full well the pitter patter of rain and of the rhythms of life around me. Rain is right no matter what anyone else says. When one is sad one cries, it is a unavoidable fact of life. The soaking cleans us out heart and soul so do not fear the gray skies, embrace them for they can bring forth healing.

Also here have a lullaby...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSPjTAFn-l0
   
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Re: I'm a liar. - July 17th 2010, 11:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mjolnir View Post
Glad to see a smile blossom.

Just as the humble flower needs sun and rain to live, we need the joy and tears to grow.



Being a percussionist and big fan of music I know full well the pitter patter of rain and of the rhythms of life around me. Rain is right no matter what anyone else says. When one is sad one cries, it is a unavoidable fact of life. The soaking cleans us out heart and soul so do not fear the gray skies, embrace them for they can bring forth healing.

Also here have a lullaby...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSPjTAFn-l0
I've never heard that song before.. it's beautiful




   
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Re: I'm a liar. - July 18th 2010, 02:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RainbowSkies View Post
I'll try my best. There's only two friends that have really stuck with me through everything. One lives on the otherside of the world and the other is my best friend. they're both amazing but it's hard to talk to them about stuff now because I don't want to be seen as attention seeking.
Asking for help and support when you need it is never attention seeking. Everyone deserves support when they feel down, and good friends will always be happy to help and listen when you need to talk. In fact it will make them far happier to help than seeing you bottling things up and getting upset. And they wont hate you for bottling things. They care and just want you to be happy.

As for your other friends, they're just being childish. Try not to let people like that get you down. People who argue and think about themselves and upset others aren't being good friends. You're a better person than that and you deserve far better. Don't take any notice of people with childish opinions, you're a nice person, be confident in yourself.


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Re: I'm a liar. - July 18th 2010, 03:13 AM

Just like Liam said. You're not seeking attention, you're simply looking for some help which is perfectly ok! It's much better then keeping it all up inside and letting it get to you. I'm sure if your friends are great friends they'll want you to tell them rather than to keep it all inside. Just because one person was an idiot and had no right to even know such a great person like you, doesn't mean everyone is like that. Your friends aren't going to hate you. I'm sure you mean a lot to them and they want what's best for you!


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