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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lily. Offline
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Help? - July 21st 2010, 02:56 AM

I'm new to this so bear with me.
I feel bad, 'cause I don't need this as much as others may.
I mean I think about suicide and I think about how tough things are but I guess there's really no point in being on here if I'm not willing to tell people things right? I guess I'm just here 'cause I want help but I can't ask for it. When I do people just shut me down... So I guess what I'm really asking is;

How do you ask for help, when it's the thing that scares you the most?
   
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Re: Help? - July 21st 2010, 03:37 AM

Hey there,

There are a lot of different ways to ask for help. Some people have to work up to it slowly, make friends who they trust and what not and slowly open up to them and other people just jump into it and ask for help.

It all depends on what you feel comfortable with. When I first came on this site I asked for help a little bit but I wasn't as open as I am now. I had to work up to that. I had to get to know people and kind of trust the site and then I was able to be more open.

I know asking for help can be hard but I promise no one on here is going to judge you and it can really help to have people to support you. I found that when I developed a support network on this site I was able to slowly reach out to people in my real life. Maybe that will happen for you too.

Don't be afraid to ask for help and if you ever want to chat feel free to send me a pm.

Jenna


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Re: Help? - July 21st 2010, 04:28 AM

Jenna covered it pretty well. My thing is that I'm far too open, and I open up to everyone. The key to asking for help when you're scared to death is knowing that nothing bad can come from it. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way, but asking for help won't hurt anything.


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Re: Help? - July 21st 2010, 03:32 PM

hey hey, confiding on the forums is definitely a way if you find that you can't open up to ppl around you. (: i'm sure that there're ppl who'd care, and offer a listening ear, coz afterall, the ppl you meet on the forums are not face-to-face with you..
talk to someone really, and probably seek counselling.. i went to a counsellor by myself, and they'd keep whatever you say confidential and stuff. took a lot of courage for me to take that step, but it helped. (:
but in the end, it was when i joined a church that i managed to get the real help i needed through the ppl and through God...
see wat works for you then (:



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the voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
   
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Re: Help? - July 21st 2010, 05:34 PM

First of all you definitely deserve help just as much as anyone else. Everyone deserves support and no one is "more important" than anyone else.

Asking for help doesn't mean having to tell someone every single detail. Trusting someone enough to do that takes time. Sometimes it can help just making friends and talking to people and getting little things off your mind gradually. Sometimes you might even feel like saying you're depressed without a reason, it can help to know people care and are there for you. If you find some friends you really trust, then maybe you can work on your fear of asking for help and gradually get things off your mind.

There's plenty of point in being here and you're more than welcome. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM too.


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Mikey Offline
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Re: Help? - July 22nd 2010, 03:49 AM

Hey Lily. (:
Cute name btw.

First of all, this site was created and is maintained to help everyone with their problems (big or small.) Please don't feel like you are of less need of recieving the help you deserve than myself or even others. We are all here to help you like you are willing to help us.
I hope you consider the advice posted above me, for they contain alot of information I believe you should think over. ~CourageousSurvivor~ stated a good fact that different people feel different amounts of anxiety with asking for help; but there are various techniques of asking for help to help tackle your worries.
How do you ask for help, when it's the thing that scares you the most?
I have a question for you, what is the thing that scares you the most about asking for help?
Because if it's feelings of shame or emberassment, leave those behind. I believe asking for help is actually wise and a very successful strategy because it will save you stress, time, and may give you possible solutions to your problem. Talk to someone who you're close to, like a friend or family member, these are the people who love you and care about you. If they can't directly help you maybe they can point you in the right direction. State clearly what it is that would be helpful and be specific. People generally want to help but they just need to know exactly what is expected of them.
Say thank you. (This is one step I sometimes forget) Always be grateful and appreciative when someone has done something to help. That way if you'll need to ask for help again they will be happy and willing to give a hand.

Lily, all I'm trying to say is that no matter how much you have difficulties with asking for help, trust issues, ect. there are people who will always be willing to help you. Mabey they've done some hurtful things to others and possibly yourself; but you probably mean an unreal amount to them and it's extremely frustrating knowing your there for them whenever but you can do nothing in return.
Please know my pm box is forever open.
Much love,
Mikey.



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