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starswillshine Offline
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Rant - July 21st 2010, 06:05 AM

coming back i feel i've lost my way. i've fought through the depression once, and its coming back again. I feel as if my mind plays tricks on me to push me down when nothings really wrong. This is what drives me insane. I have no real reason to feel lost upset or even down, but the feeling seems to come back quite often. So know i'm left with a feeling of a huge weight on my chest, like i can't breathe, and loneliness. And it seems that all my friends are so caught up into their own thing that i never see them, and when i do its always based around them. i prolly sound a little self centered saying that, but it just seems as if no one listens. and if i can't say a reason on being depressed its an auto matic 'oh well then nothings wrong' then the subject is changed. which should be the case, but yea. I've tried several different methods with medication/seeing psychologists, and i've made a front so happy that no one can believe i feel any sort of depression and the meds haven't helped in the slightest. I don't know what i'm really getting at here in this post, but i needed a short or not so short rant to just try to let things go. To make things worse, getting ignored for a video game everyday by the person whose supposed to care for you most.. is starting to wear thin.
Sometimes i feel as if i'm walking down a tunnel that is pitch dark, with the faint light in the end that seems unreachable. with every step i take, the light moving two steps further away. i feel very alone, and very much so vulnerable.

sorry for the complete randomness, what i really ask, in the end is.. tell me something happy? gogo


There's just so much to be said, so much running through my head, In a time staggered on the end, Maybe now can we pretend?
   
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Re: Rant - July 21st 2010, 03:35 PM

heyhey, maybe you can find activities that can take your mind off things? and yup, this forum is a good place too for you to rant, and know that we can be supportive since many of us have been there before or are still there.
instead of telling you something happy... what about this idea that you go find that one thing you do that can make you feel better? (: soft toys maybe



and the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
   
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starswillshine Offline
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Re: Rant - July 22nd 2010, 04:50 AM

Hey, i def do need to find some new activities, seems as of late i've gotten into a trend of going to school and then staying cooped up in my house prolly the best in getting out a little bit o.0 just hard to find the motivation sometimes. soft toys/stuffed animals are def a day brightener tho (:
or possibly just a random drive to just get away for a bit.
just gets hard to look up sometimes when things start weighing down


There's just so much to be said, so much running through my head, In a time staggered on the end, Maybe now can we pretend?
   
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