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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lost_Confused Offline
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Exclamation Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 25th 2010, 05:49 PM

I just want this fucking shit to be over. For once, just ONCE.
My life is so fucked up, always has been, I don't even know what true happiness is. Or even contentment. Even if i was content for a day, i wouldn't know.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 25th 2010, 07:14 PM

Please, please dont kill or hurt yourself!
you are only 16. The average person lives about 75 to 80 years. Eventhough you may not be happy with your life now, I PROMISE things will get better for you.
You will know what happiness is. You will know what love is.
I dont know if you're into Buddhism, but buddhists believe that you cannot achieve nirvanna without first suffering. There IS suffering in this world.
Believe it or not, everyone is faced with some type of struggle.
An example being myself (I wont go into detail)
What helped me was thinking of it as you are putting your life on hold. Just getting through a period of time. You may feel like you dont have much to live for now, but keep on holding on.
After this difficult period in your life is over, you will be so happy that you held on. Life has so much to offer you, whether you realize it or not.
Its unfortunate, but alot of teenagers grow up with shitty parents, bad financial situations, struggle with depression, have issues with chemical dependency, have social problems, etc.
But you WILL get though it. And when you look back on what you went through, you will be so much stronger. You will be able to take care of yourself better than the majority of most girls/women. Its insane how much we can learn from being in shitty situations. But with being in situations that are difficult, we have a story to tell.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY problem. You may feel like what you are going through is set in stone. But like I said- people live for 80 years. You're 16. Do you see what I mean?
Life is a gift. Adore it. cherish it. There are a ton of people who would kill to be in your situation. Think of how lucky you are!
Roughly 60% of the world's population is suffering (and even dying) from famine, extreme poverty and starvation.
Have you seen the movie The Prince of Egypt? The old man farmer said "look at your life from heaven's eyes" be grateful for what you are blessed with. Direct your attention to the good things you have in your life vs. the not so good things.
Life runs in cycles. It has its ups and downs. The stages of the cycles can sometimes last years, but the cycle will continue.

I hope this helped atleast some. And please be safe!
Continue to write to Teen Help for support.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 25th 2010, 07:47 PM

Your so young. The same age that I am. Sometimes life do get hard. They say what don't kill makes you stronger. I haven't had the happiest life, and I don't think many people have. I also bet if you took a survey of all the strongest(not physical) people, they would say that they had some type of heart ache, and maybe their child hood sucked alot, but that only gave them the push to get better and prove what everyone thought wasn't possible.
It reminds me of the choris to a song I heard, it's a country song but heres the chorus:

There are times in life when you gotta crawl,
Lose your grip, trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no-one else:
That's when you find yourself
I've been around and I've noticed that
Walkin's easy when the road is flat
Them danged ol' hills'll get you every time
Yeah the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb
Lonestar
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 25th 2010, 11:29 PM

Quote:
They say what don't kill makes you stronger.


I must be pretty damn strong, then.





Quote:
There are a ton of people who would kill to be in your situation.


They can go ahead and kill me, then.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 26th 2010, 12:20 AM

I've been in your shoes. I'm so glad that you're telling someone, even if it's just us on Teenhelp. There are many of us here who are living examples of overcoming these rough times, and we know that times will get better for you- even though we don't know you personally, even though it doesn't seem that way to you. Please trust us, we're here to help you and if you died, I for one would be upset. I'm sure the other two agree with me.

I'm sure there are many wonderful things about you that other people will or already like you for, and if you die, those people will never be as happy as they could have been with you. Sometimes when we can't live for ourselves, we have to live for the happiness of others.

If you need anymore help, PM me anytime.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 26th 2010, 02:31 AM

I sometimes wish that my therapist was here.
I was doing pretty good for a couple weeks, but it's absolutely gone down the drain. AGAIN.






Quote:
those people will never be as happy as they could have been with you.


Hahahahaha. Yeah, right. They'd be better off without me, they'd forget me in less than 6 months.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 26th 2010, 07:44 PM

Quote:
There are a ton of people who would kill to be in your situation.


They can go ahead and kill me, then.



What I meant by that is to be grateful for the things that you do have. Stop looking at what you dont have and be thankful for the things that you do have. I dont want to sound harsh, but sometimes its necessary-- your outlook on life will not get better if you keep the mindset of "poor old me". If you do not make an effort to reverse your way of thinking from pessimistic to optimistic, you will feel as if you are stuck in the same old rut until you do reverse your mindset. It will not happen any other way.

I DO know what I am talking about. I have been addicted to drugs, my father was abusive to my mother and I, I attempted suicide multiple times, I was sexually abused three times. I am not spitting the usual "you gotz tuh bee happeee!" at you. at all.

Please please please at least take into consideration the help and advice when it is offered to you. Otherwise you wont be able to take the first step into recovery. You wont be able to do it all by yourself. Because hows that working out for you now?
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 26th 2010, 08:08 PM

Hey,

I know what it's like to be in a World where it seems like nothing makes sense. To feel like you are holding everything back from the best it can be, and that everything would be better without you. But it's so far from the truth. Sure, the World is full of complications and destructions, but if you leave, isn't that one more destruction that you're leaving the rest of the World with? No one would take your death lightly, and I'm sure that there are so many people who care about you and love you and would be devastated if you left them. You may not see the love and the compassion people have for you, but they have it. I mean, look at these posts on here from people who want to help you. We wouldn't be taking the time to write it if we didn't care about you and want you safe.

Life is hard, but taking the long road is going to make you better and you'll appreciate it. Don't underestimate what you're capable of doing in the rest of your lifetime. You can do big things, but only if you allow yourself. Never hold back.

I wish the best for you, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be open for you to PM or VM.
Take care of yourself, and be safe. Keep someone accountable for you.

-Kaylaaa.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 28th 2010, 04:11 PM

I've tried to not hold back, i've tried to get ahead, but whenever i do, there's always something not right. Or i didn't do something exactly right, and my own mother always points out what i did wrong, and never tells me what i did right.

Everything i do is a failure.


   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 31st 2010, 01:33 AM

I don't really have any advice, but my mother is the same way. You are not alone. I doubt that makes you feel much better, that you're not alone in your agony, but I find that reading makes me feel a bit better. You like Harry Potter?

PM me if you need to, or want to or just become painfully bored.


myspace.com/lonesome_fish for poetry. I like feedback sometimes. And I like smiley faces .
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 31st 2010, 03:34 AM

Quote:
I don't really have any advice, but my mother is the same way. You are not alone. I doubt that makes you feel much better, that you're not alone in your agony, but I find that reading makes me feel a bit better. You like Harry Potter?
I've seen a couple of the movies, and they were pretty good.
If the books are interesting and keep my interest, then i'd read them.





I'm really considering grabbing someone's sleeping pills (if there are any..) and some alcohol and just fucking gulping them all down. Either that, or wait until everyone goes to bed, or everyone's out for several hours, then slash my wrists. Probably slash my wrists, cuz i can't swallow a bunch of pills, and there's no good alcohol around here. :/
Remember, down the street, not across.
That keeps echoing in my head.....
Speaking of streets.... Tomorrow i'm going to a place that has a high bridge. Wonder, if i climbed over the fence and fell down, would i get killed from the fall? Or would i have to be run over by a semi. OR i could just run out into traffic and wait until a semi comes close and get smashed into it. ... That sounds pretty good. But bloody...

Last edited by Lost_Confused; July 31st 2010 at 03:57 AM.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - July 31st 2010, 10:25 AM

You wish you commit suicide now, but you don't know what is like to be falling 500 feet,

490 feet the anger leaves your body and you feel the pang of fear.

450 feet You begin to fully feel the gut wrenching fear.

420 feet You begin regretting your descision for jumping

400, 300, 200 and as you near closer and closer to the cold dark water you begin realising how extremely selfish it is to commit suicide. Your brain starts pumping with blood and your ears hear a heartbeat.

100 feet time seems to slow down, as you get closer and closer your brain starts seizing up and your eyes are now blind with fear. All you see is extremely bright white.

10 feet, 9 feet

8 feet you can taste the salt from the water, or is that just your imagination?

7 feet, 6 feet, 5 feet, 4 feet, 3 feet

2 feet, I want to live.

Luckly I lived.
   
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Re: Can someone PLEASE kill me? - August 1st 2010, 03:10 PM

Quote:
Luckly I lived.

Daaang. o.o
   
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