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IH8U2 Offline
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I just might do it! - July 26th 2010, 05:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have wanted to die for years and thought about how I would make it happen, but I mostly knew that I was never actually going to do it.

That might change soon....

The toilet fucking overflowed AGAIN TWICE. This is very detrimental to me as I have OCD. When the toilet overflowed last year, my fucking life (which wasn't great to begin with) changed dramatically...

It changed how I perceive germs when I already had OCD. Before that, I was still even able to touch the door knobs with my bare hands, walk on the carpet with my bare feet, put stuff on the carpet and pick them up again, etc.

Now I'm at where get furious when people at work touch me because I see them pick up stuff from the floor and handle cash. I've wasted A LOT of bottles of santizer spay on my clothes. I've tried to spray privately, but sometimes people walk in and see me. People can also smell it on my clothes and even see the bubbles. They most likely think I'm weird. They also see me spending SEVERAL minutes at a time washing my hands with a shitload of soap.

I can explain a WHOLE LOT more, but hopefully, you somewhat get the fucking idea.

Now I have to live with this all over again with the germs spreading throughout the house yet again. Don't make me explain how. I refuse to believe the effects from last year's overflow are gone either, so now is just more to worry about.

I think I might just kill myself because I just can't deal with all this.
   
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Re: I just might do it! - July 26th 2010, 05:37 AM

Hey,

I don't have any experience with OCD myself, but I have a mental illness and I know how hard they can be when they go untreated. Have you ever considered seeking professional help for your problems with OCD? It sounds like this is really controlling your life, and you don't deserve to constantly live in fear because of your mental illness. I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to a doctor about this, and see what they recommend for you. They may recommend medication along with therapy, which could really be beneficial for you.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: I just might do it! - July 26th 2010, 05:50 AM

It won't work. I just want the fucking germs to go away! Why the fuck do I have to live with fecal contamination?
   
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