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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ruki Offline
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im so done....help? - July 31st 2010, 02:57 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

im so sick of everything. i dont want to be alive anymore. the good things do not outweigh the bad. im tired of being alive. it is not worth it anymore to me. im so done...

im tired of being todld im worthless to anyone. im tired of being in the way, of hurting myself and everyone near me or in contact with me at all. im sick of getting hurt. im tired of protefcting people and then i just get more hurt. im tired of being here, its too much. i dont know how to deal with it all. and then someone tried to help me....and then i come to rely on them and then they are gone.
i dont know what to do anymore. the world would be better off with me gone. i dont know how people in RL will take this. one thing i do know, is that my parents will not care. i want to be gone,. im gonna write a good-bye letter. im tired of this life.

and im sorry, but this is my fate
everything is useless, no one wants me to stay
and im sorry, but ive waited too long
no one will cry over me
i'm not worth any tears

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: im so done....help? - July 31st 2010, 08:11 PM

The people who are leaving you are the people who are not your true friends. Real friends don't leave you hanging, and there are good people out there who would care and want to help.
There are people who care about you, there's nothing worth killing yourself over. There's always a reason to stay, and keep fighting. How are you going to experience the good things that will come your way unless you stick around?
I have been depressed and felt the same way you have before. If you need a friend or need anyone to talk to, just PM me anytime you need. I'm here.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: im so done....help? - July 31st 2010, 09:30 PM

Hey there,

I know how hard it is to trust some and rely on them through this struggle and then have them leave. I know you are feeling abandoned and confused and lost but don't give up. I know that sometimes it seems like there is no point in any of this but there is. It is hard to see at times but in times of darkness you just kind of have to go at it blindly and hope that sooner or later a light will come back on.

Right now things are tough but in a month maybe they won't be. The good times do out weigh the bad but when you are in the throes of sadness you cannot realize that. Something that helps me to get through it is thinking of the good things in life. The things that make me smile and feel light and happy. Do you think you could try that? It doesn't have to be a big list but it might help.

There is a thread called reasons to live and it is kind of like that. Listing the things in life that have brought you a smile or made your heart feel less heave can give you reasons to live.

I am going to give you that link in hopes that it will help you get your own list started.

Here it is: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t272-reasons-live/

Now I will admit that sometimes these reasons do not feel like enough and that might mean that you need some extra help. You might need to seek some counseling or something in order to start to believe that there are reasons to live. There is nothing wrong with that and it will show how determined you are to get through this (you can get through this).

As for your parents; what makes you think they won't care if you are gone? Sometimes our parents can be so preoccupied with their own lives that we begin to believe that they do not really care about us. However, 95% of the time that is not true; our parents almost always care immensely about us but they are too busy with themselves to really let us know.

Lastly, the friend that left you, I know that was difficult but I promise you did nothing wrong. People come and go in our lives for all kinds of reasons. I bet if you looked back at the relationship you had with this friend you will realize that you learned something positive. Maybe you can take away from that friendship that while trusting people can be hard it is also worth it to find someone who might be willing to listen; or maybe something else. It might be hard to see what you learned from that relationship but with time you will and it will help you find other relationships and it will help those relationships grow.

Sometimes people hurt us and we cannot understand why but looking back on the relationship you can almost always learn something positive from it and move on. It can be hard to do but it is possible. Don't close your mind to the fact that maybe there was something important for you to learn from this relationship.

And remember you did nothing wrong. Sometimes people cannot support us the way we need and that leads to them leaving but in the end you are stronger for taking the leap and confiding in them. Don't let this one friendship make you become untrustworthy or make you close yourself off from others because then you will miss out on the opportunities to meet other people.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
ruki Offline
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Name: Jodie
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Re: im so done....help? - August 1st 2010, 01:42 AM

more than one person left me along, it was mre like 7. and my parents would not care. i know that. they abuse me and they hurt me, they dont give a d**** about me. i dont kno what to do.l i am scared. and i am alone.

thank you.

jodie, aka ruki
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