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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Bram Offline
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why should i live...... - August 2nd 2010, 06:21 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

my life is useless, school is going to be a hell next year, i'm to dumb to stay in the same class i was, nobody loves me, i've never been in a serious relationship, everytime i thought i was, it appeared to be some kind of a joke, wich fucking hurts me, i am fucking weak, in strenght and mind, i'm addicted to stuff like red bull, i cut myself, so why should i live? me and my life are useless
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: why should i live...... - August 2nd 2010, 06:39 PM

Your life is definitely not useless. I wasn't in a serious relationship when I was 13. I'm 16 almost 17 now and I still haven't had a boyfriend. You want to hold out for a girl that will love you for who you are. If the girls in your class don't like you then that's their loss. Don't make it your problem. It's theirs. I struggled with depression earlier in the year. And you know what, I'm glad that I did. Because now I know how strong I am. I see a psychologist every week and it really really helps to get your feelings out there in the open. I know that I have a lot more growing to do, but I feel so much better now. Maybe you should consider doing the same. It doesn't mean that your crazy, it just means that you have a lot on your plate right now that you can't handle on your own. And you shouldn't have to. Listen, it will get better. And ultimately through this experience, you'll learn so much about yourself that you never even knew.




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Re: why should i live...... - August 2nd 2010, 06:52 PM

I think there are a lot of people out there that have felt the way you are feeling right now, and I agree with Dani, you should let those feelings out by just talking. Either on here (feel free to PM me if you'd like) or seeing a therapist. I have struggled with depression for years, and even though it seems inconsequential, just talking and giving your opinions and being understood helps so much. You feel alone, but you aren't. I care about you, even though we've never met, because I understand where you are coming from. I want you to know that there is always hope, and there are so many reasons to live. I know it's hard, but there are people that are here for you.
Message me if you'd like to talk, or if you need anything.
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 2nd 2010, 07:02 PM

i'd like to go to a psychologist, but i don't want to let my parents know i'm depressed and that i'm cutting myself, i'm trying to hide keep it away from them... and i know i'm not crazy when i'm going to a psychologist, but everybody in my class will call me crazy, i don't want that, and trying to hide it won't work, they'll get to know it sometime...
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 2nd 2010, 07:31 PM

Honestly, the only people who will need to know are your parents since they will probably be your best resource to finding someone to talk to and whatnot. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, telling my mom I needed to see someone, but it wasn't the end of the world. You don't have to tell them every detail, just that you have been having some problems coping with things, and would like to talk to a therapist. They will want to talk to you about it, but you don't have to tell them if you don't want to. Your friends at school and work do not need to know, you can make excuses for the time you need off to meet with the psychologist, they don't have to know.
If you really need to talk to a psychologist, then you have to make it happen. That might mean telling your parents, but that's just what you have to do... in the long run it will be for the best.
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 2nd 2010, 08:18 PM

Hey there,

The only people that will need to know are your parents. I know you want to keep it from them but I think it would be the best thing to tell them. It will be hard but they can help you to find a good psychologist and get your life back on track.

Life is tough right now but it does not always have to be like this. There are always going to be ups and downs in life but some how we all manage to get through. Life is never going to be perfect but it can be a lot better then it is now. You can live a life where you are happy and don't think about dying and don't need to cut. You have to reach out to get to that point though.

As for your classmates knowing; why would they? You don't have to disclose to any one of them that you are seeing a therapist. I know that when I fist started going to therapy one of my biggest fears was that my classmates were going to find out. None of them did. It is a completely private affair.

Please consider seeking help so that you can get the help you deserve.

Please hang in there.

Jenna


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: why should i live...... - August 3rd 2010, 03:43 PM

Thanks for your reply, it makes me feel a little better.
I'll try to ask my mom as soon as she's home.
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 3rd 2010, 04:53 PM

I wrote my mom a letter when I finally decided to tell her, because I didn't think I could talk about it. After she read it, we had a long discussion and it ended up really good. I'm just saying that's what worked for me, but obviously everyone is different. I'm very fortunate to have an extremely supportive mother, and it was the best thing I ever did, to tell her everything.
It'll get better.
PM me if you need anything, and let us know how the conversation with your mom goes!
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 3rd 2010, 06:41 PM

I'm going to wait for the evening, for some reason i'm only able to tell those kind of thing when it's [almost] dark...
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 4th 2010, 09:29 AM

I didn't tell her yet, i had billions of changes, but i just couldn't tell her, i don't know why
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 4th 2010, 03:56 PM

Have you thought about writing her a letter? You don't have to SAY the words, and it could be better for her to read it, as well. It's just a thought, but it worked for me quite well.
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 5th 2010, 09:43 AM

I tried to write at least something, but it doesn't sound if it's written by me...
Damn i wish i was school... Than my mentor could do it for me
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 5th 2010, 01:21 PM

Hi,
You should really write just what your feeling, and by yourself! You don't have to get it written by your mentor...then, it really wouldn't be from you!
It's alright if it doesn't sound like you as long as you know you're the one writing it and you want to express yourself to your mom. And you really don't have to be there for her to read it! (:


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Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: why should i live...... - August 6th 2010, 06:47 PM

Bram, you're thirteen, do you know what that means? As in the full extent? That means you have your whole life in front of you. Not having a serious relationship? That's not a problem - at all, many guys don't even have a girlfriend until after high school some after college - you're making that bigger than it is. When I was thirteen I rarely had any friends, felt like an alien in my own family and didn't know why, was the laughing stock of my school and always felt like I should end everything - today I'm at one of the top film companies in the world doing what I've always wanted to do and finally have an amazing girl in my life. Point is - every dog has their day in the sun. You're only thirteen, you have no idea what will come your way. So, things aren't going your way right now - that without a doubt doesn't mean it will always be that way. When your young, you have a tendency to think every day could be the end of the world because you don't know that much beyond that - middle and high school seems like life and death, when that's just a ramp to what comes afterwards.

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Re: why should i live...... - August 6th 2010, 06:51 PM

I think you should stick with the letter, just do your best - it doesn't have to be perfect! Don't worry how it sounds, only that it's true and that you're getting all those thoughts out. In the long run, it will be better if your mom knows!
PM me if you want to talk.
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 8th 2010, 02:56 AM

your 13, i'm 19 in about a month.


I've never been in a real relationship, not even close.
   
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Re: why should i live...... - August 8th 2010, 06:40 AM

Yup, I'm going to be 18 in a month...I have honestly not been in a proper relationship at all. I had my first kiss only a while ago. You have a looooooong way to go! What about being 13 and just having fun without worrying about what's going to come later in life? The time will come when you will be in a relationship that means something to you. Don't go out looking for it and it will come to you. You need not worry about now! Be a kid, or a young adolescent and worry about it. Let yourself live the life of a 13 year old! Or you'll regret it when you get older! Life isn't all about relationships.

And school. School has sucked for me...alot! Studies, friends. I think everyone goes through that stage in their life. You'll get through it if you realize that it's just a small little piece in your life compared to all the others that are going to come!


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

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As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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